JohnnyXBoyd

I get scared of having good things.

“I found the hardest parts of you the easiest to love. And it wasn’t the way you flaunted your frame when you were spitting fire that made it so, but the conviction in your eyes that made everything easier. I knew every time you yelled that it was only passion coming to the surface. I understood that all the moments of side-eye and passive comments was the work of untrustworthy suitors; individuals who could never know your worth no matter how much value was placed in front of them. With every curse and curled fist aimed at my conscience, I knew you were fighting yourself as much as me. I saw the fear behind your eyes when you screamed. I recognized the insecurity. You didn’t want me to leave; you just wanted more love. And I saw that. I saw the real you in your flaws; as beautiful as they were deadly.”

"At some point you have to love yourself more than the person who broke you. I know that's easier said than done; they never teach you self-love in school, and the lessons you're supposed to learn are meant to come from your parents, but even they aren't experts; and half the time they're empty on loving themselves also. So the only thing you can do, the only real application, is to practice it; daily. Every day, wake up with it, go through your day with it, and fall asleep with it. Look at yourself internally, externally, mentally and projectionally, and fight to understand something you love about yourself. Fight to discover something beautiful that comes from you, even if it's hard for you to do so. That's the only true way to heal. That type of self-care will save your life."

"I don't want a life of luxury. I want a life of love and laughter; riches made of intangible elements to keep my heart full and my soul happy."

"You're as beautiful as you are complex; holding no ties to simpler things as every inch of you is a myriadic force of entanglements. There is no one definition that defines you. No permanent assertion that can be held to your description. You are utterly and completely enigmatic; an amalgamation of sunsets intertwined in the unknown."

"Sometimes you can look at a thing and feel all of its sadness. All of the pain that encompassed its whole life comes rushing to the forefront of your heart, and you can't help but to sympathize. You can't help but to feel sorry for this creature that endured so much hurt."

I felt lost while you were dreaming; felt the direction turn senseless as the years turned left and our moments turned right. It's an odd sensation, losing your balance. It's a strange predicament to know where you want to go, but unable to reach that destination in stride; too drunk on uncertainty to keep a step forward, too caught up in 'maybes' to stand on a choice. How much wandering did we do?

"My whole world was built in you; my pillars were attached and the walls were sturdy. I had everything constructed to perfection in an architecture of skin and bones. I had my home woven in. So with you gone, I am homeless. With you gone, I am heartless. With you gone... I am worldless."

"You look like poetry, taste like music, sound like cinema, and feel like a painting. Even the smell of you is a ballet. Every inch of you is an art form I'm dying to explore."

"Besides your lips, your words are the only thing I find seductive. Whether from your mouth or from your pen... you give good thought."

We've danced to this song before; allowed the melody to flow through our hearts as the rhythm of our bodies moved synchronistically. There's no sweeter moment than holding your chest against mine. There's no better feeling. In truth, I had forgotten how euphoric it was; the motion. I'm so glad we found our way back to the music; deciding to take each step to the pace of our souls, letting the tempo of our love take over.

My judgment is blurry when it comes to you. The concept of who we are and what we mean to each other is distorted. So as I look to the signs for any clear lines of definition, I am always unsure; blinded by the uncertainty if what we have is real or if it's just for now.

I had a softness for you; a gentle weakness that allowed you to do whatever you wanted to. I don’t know if it was the shape of your lips or the tone of your words, but you had that ability. You had that talent to turn right into wrong, and wrong into right; spinning lies so beautiful that the truth would turn to your attention, even if it knew better.                             

I keep my eye in search of you; scanning the expanse of infinite twilight so that I may glean your presence once more, even through distant space.

I was with you just long enough to become addicted, but short enough to still be alive.

I feel softer in your arms;                           the edges smoothed out so that they don't puncture those around me               It's one thing to have rough skin, it's another to have a rough heart                 Too tough to know gentle warnings and how to live in them