John's Spaceship

If you add guac to a BLT, then it would become an LGBT.

Concept: you’ve been married to your wife for 3 years. You wake up in your bed before she does, your nose cold but your body warm. Careful not to wake her, you get out of bed and your toes curl when your feet hit the cold floor. You brew a pot of coffee and take a cup, making sure to leave enough for her. You pull on a big sweater and walk out onto your deck, sitting in a big wood chair to look out over the forest. The leaves are orange and edged with frost. All is quiet as the sun rises over the trees. You hear the door opening behind you and your wife sits down next to you, wrapping the comforter from your bed around both of you shoulders. You sit there like that until the sun is well up and your coffee cups are empty.

Oh my god. This is it. I want this so badly.

Concept: you’ve been married to your wife for 3 years. You wake up in your bed before she does, your nose cold but your body warm. Careful not to wake her, you get out of bed and your toes curl when your feet hit the cold floor. You brew a pot of coffee and take a cup, making sure to leave enough for her. You pull on a big sweater and walk out onto your deck, sitting in a big wood chair to look out over the forest. The leaves are orange and edged with frost. All is quiet as the sun rises over the trees. You hear the door opening behind you and your wife sits down next to you, wrapping the comforter from your bed around both of you shoulders. You sit there like that until the sun is well up and your coffee cups are empty.

Oh my god. This is it. I want this so badly.

Make her pussy wet not her eyes.

Make his dick hard not his life

Break her bed not her heart

play with her boobs not her feelings

Get on his dick not his nerves.

always salt your pasta while boiling it 

If you’ve had sex with less than 12 people , people that have had sex with you belong to a more exclusive club than those who have walked on the moon.

all the different kinds of drunk people in 51 seconds

Watched this episode last night and fuckin so good

I am cured, my acne is gone and I don’t feel depressed.