to be strong is to be weak.

THE FAMILY SITUATION

tw: foster care, adoption

John spent his childhood growing up in the foster care system, going from home to home until he was six years old. He doesn’t know his biological parents but is very close to his adoptive parents, which is why he usually refers to the Mannings as his mother and father, despite not being related by blood. The family fostered other kids as well, so there was always someone around. They had two biological children as well, who John also considers his siblings. His youngest adoptive sibling, Rose Paisi (@rosalindpaisi), recently moved to Crescent Harbor which he is incredibly excited about as they are very close.

THE LOOKS

Faceclaim: Dan Levy Height: 5'11’’ Hair Color/Length: black and short, usually neatly coiffed, curly if without product (aka never, unless you live with him or catch him off-guard) Facial Hair: John usually doesn’t go for a clean shave ever. He’s always sporting some stubble. Eyes: brown Complexion: clear, warm undertones Body: Average/Athletic. John enjoys excerise a lot but also likes to indulge in foods that aren’t considered good. Whether he’s keeping up with yoga, running or some light lifting, there’s rarely a day where he doesn’t add some kind of activity to his agenda, mostly to make sure he’s training his mobility. His frequent walks with his dog will also do the trick. Style: John is very interested in fashion and not at all scared to add some more unique styles to his wardrobe. More often than not, he sticks to a rather casual yet formal style, mostly due to his job but also because he likes to dress well and feel good about the way he looks. He’s usually sticking to high quality, if not designer, sweaters or dress shirts with a nice pair of pants but will also wear a good pair of denim jeans and a t-shirt occasionally. He also loves a good print. The man always looks very put together. You can find some outfits here. Smells Like: Considering his habit of going for runs in the mornings, John usually never leaves the house for meetings or errands unless he’s freshly showered. He hates nothing more than being smelly or dirty even, so he tends to smell fresh with a hint of cologne.

THE STORY

tw: foster care, motorcycle accident, injuries

Jonathan “John” Bernstein grew up in the foster care system and moved into a foster home in Toronto when he was already six years old but it was there where he finally got to experience what being a family was all about

He never met his biological parents and isn’t sure whether or not he’d like to some day. He’s in the process of trying to figure out how to go about looking for them, just to know but without success so far. He hasn’t told anyone about thsi and thinks it’s better to keep it close to his chest for now.

John is a very kind and very passionate person. If he’s excited over something, you’ll know! He doesn’t only get excited about things directly tied to himself though but about other people’s interests and successes, too.

The people around him either love him or hate him for it because he will go on and on and never stop until you tell him to. He always likes to indulge in rather intense conversations as it is and will go out of his way to help anyone with patience and kindness if they have any problem at all. 

His intensity paired with his overall level-headedness is very useful when it comes to his profession though because he’s a natural at being a salesman who is always eager to network which makes renting and buying art for the gallery to help it extend and thrive an easy task (if you ignore the amount of overtime he collected over the past few years).

So basically, he’s a big softy who loves art in all shapes and forms and will go on about it to anyone for hours if they let him or dare to step into the gallery.

He moved out to Vancouver right after high school to go to university. He majored in visual arts.

When he was 24, John was involved in a crash with his motorcycle that left him severely injured and in a coma.

He made it through but the accident threw him into a spin and basically had him starting at zero. The healing process took a whole year because of complicated fractures and nerve injuries that he needed a lot of physical therapy and rest for - which only made John realized that he is not as good at taking care of himself as he thought he was up until then.

Jonathan feels incredibly fortunate to have survived the crash, despite the fact that it left him with some issues to this day. On his worse days, he’ll have a slight limp due to a hurt nerve in his leg and a pelvic fracture. He also suffered a minor motor nerve damage in his wrist which makes it hard for him to create art himself or do basic tasks, really. It keeps him from being able to lift heavy items or do other basic tasks due to the lack of strength and control. He learned to live with these remaining injuries and doesn’t really let them stop him, unless he pushes himself too hard and has to give in. He was also left with quite a few scars scattered across his body but considers them a small price he had to pay if it meant he still got to come out of it alive.

He loves to travel and did quite a lot of it after his recovery and before settling in Crescent Harbor where he’s been living for the past seven years. 

John traveled to and worked in Tokyo and London the most and got a lot of his experience when it comes to galleries from his time there.

These days he’s gotten too busy and caught up in his work to even think of taking a vacation which is bad but the workaholic in him would say otherwise. Maybe it’s that or his inability to give up control - the man just needs to relax!

Despite growing up and becoming a lot more confident as he got older, John is still very soft-spoken at times but always polite and definitely happy to talk to anyone. He doesn’t like to be the center of attention and tries to stay in the background more, even though he’s not as shy as he used to be. 

Overall, he’s a very friendly guy and tries to help anyone who might have a problem but don’t make him mad - the switch flips slowly but surely.

When you are in his circle though, he’ll do anything for you. He made quite a few friends in his years of living in Crescent Harbor due to that but his best friend and confidante is Diana Blackwood-Amari (@diana-amari).

Right now, he’s busy house hunting with his partner Quinn Hawthorne (@quinn-hawthorne), while also trying to navigate the ups and downs that come with being in a long-term relationship after having stuck to his own company for longer than he’d care to admit. Lets just say, communication is not their strong suit but they’re learning.

To sum it up: he’s soft, warm and friendly, very interested in art in any shape or form and just wants to be your friend if you let him! Just don’t disrespect him and you’re golden! Otherwise, you might get a pretty intimidating side-eye and a snarky comment or two.

Also, he would die for his dog, a Dachshund-Corgi mix named Merlot, and so would I tbh.

A date. It was probably a mistake to do this. Quinn didn’t do this. His last date was -- over seven years ago, and with the only person he’d ever wanted something serious with. It didn’t have to be a thing, and he knew that. Something casual, something just to try and ‘get back out there’ so to speak. Was it pathetic that Quinn’s only real dating history was with Lara? Even when they hadn’t been together in nearly a decade? He was sure it was getting there. But, this, this was good, right? John was good looking, sweet, and he hadn’t refused the date. He could take that as enough. Maybe this would be a one time thing, that was okay. He didn’t expect much out of himself, figuring that John would realize quickly that this was a mistake, that he didn’t want to even speak to Quinn again, and he had to be okay with that. He liked John, though, he’d become a friend over the past few months, niceties turned into light flirting, and now here they were.

Quinn sat across from John, trying to cover up his nerves, or uncertainty. It was just dinner, fuck, that didn’t need to be a big deal. When the waiter came to the table, handing the drink menu to Quinn before starting to go over it, Quinn offered it up to John, an uncomfortable smile crossing his features as he did. “I’ll just have a water, thanks,” he told the waiter once he’d gone over probably too many drinks for Quinn’s own good, suddenly feeling sheepish at having made the poor guy go over the list. “But, please,” he waved a hand toward John, his eyes meeting the other man’s from across the table. “Anything you want. Don’t feel like you can’t.”

__

John wasn’t sure if he could remember the last time he’d felt as nervous as he did that night. After spending an embarrassing amount of time getting ready – more than he’d ever like to admit – he’d finally decided on an outfit and it was then when he allowed himself a moment to process what was even happening. Quinn asking him out had come as a surprise. A welcome one, but a surprise nonetheless. They got along well, John knew that and maybe their friendly banter had turned into something that came close to some teasing but with how long he’d been out of the dating game, John almost felt like he had to relearn the first steps. His last real date had been years ago. There’d been one or two in the meantime but they barely mattered, considering they ended in him never seeing the person in question ever again. Maybe that was just something John had been cursed with – an inability to keep someone interested or maybe he was being too oblivious – the same way he’d been with Quinn up until now.

He hadn’t expected Quinn to be interested in him that way. He hadn’t even considered that he could be and yet, here he was, sitting in a dimly lit restaurant across from the other man, his nerves leaving him a little shaky and unfocused as he reached up to fix his glasses and cleared his throat – a nervous habit he couldn’t quite seem to shake. Quinn had been nothing but nice to him ever since they’d met. Kind and handsome, a little dorky in a way John found endearing but now, he couldn’t help but go over the advances he might’ve missed. The hints and the flirting he registered as Quinn being friendly. It made him feel a little stupid but he was snapped out of his thoughts when a waiter came by, a hint of surprise glimmering in his dark eyes when he accepted the card with a quiet thank you. His order caught him off-guard and maybe he’d imagined the slight discomfort on the other man’s features but he couldn’t help the way his brows pulled together. “Oh! Uh…,” he trailed off, eyes scanning over the menu as his hand lifted to touch his glasses again before he could stop himself and John met Quinn’s eyes momentarily before looking over to the waiter. “For me, too – thank you,” he said politely, waiting for him to walk off before he tilted his head, a curious smile on his lips. “You don’t drink?”

__

It had been a long time that Quinn had started flirting with John before he thought the other man had even picked up on it fully. Nothing crass, just little things. He wondered how much coffee he’d brought John as a means of trying to win his favor without John even realizing just what he was doing. But, it didn’t matter, not really. He had finally gotten some courage to ask, half expecting a no, of course it would have been gentle, kind and sweet. Or maybe John was just too nice to say no outright. Either way, he figured this would wind up being good practice, maybe go on dates with other people when this inevitably went wrong. Especially with John looking just as put together, and handsome as he’d ever seen the other man. He’d tried, dressed up and cleaned up from his normal look, something that he rarely ever broke out, preferring something more comfortable than the jacket and slacks he’d settled on.

What he hadn’t totally expected was the slip and the tell so quickly. He didn’t drink, he was sober, and that wasn’t a fact he was ashamed of. It just didn’t exactly scream first date conversation. But, John didn’t seem bothered by the idea of Quinn not drinking, maybe he thought it was simply that whole ‘clean living’ that vegans or whatever did, not the same clean living he did. “Oh, um,” Quinn’s eyes went wide, paling a little under this sort of attention. “No, I don’t,” he admitted. “I’ve been sober for like seven years now. It’s not a big deal, just a part of my life.” He smiled over to John, waving a dismissive hand to his own words, as if trying to further convince him it was just that. Not a big deal. “Seriously, though, if you want some wine or something, I don’t mind. I’d hate to make you feel like you can’t.” He picked up the menu, his eyes giving it a once over, before glancing back up at John. He was honestly desperate to change the conversation. “Um, so have you been here before? I came once a long time ago, and they have this chicken and artichoke dish that I still think about all the time. I’ve tried to figure out the recipe at home and can’t quite crack it.”

__

It wasn’t often that John felt stupid but the more he thought about it, the more sense Quinn’s visits at the gallery started to make. Granted, he’d been surprised whenever he showed up, bringing him coffee and taking the time out of his day to have a chat with him – which John had written off as a friendly gesture. It was like he needed to be hit over the head with it before he realized, not used to the attention and the idea of someone being even remotely interested in him that way. The concept seemed almost foreign and frankly, quite ridiculous to him. John had never considered himself all that special or desirable for that matter so as much as he wanted to find validation in Quinn taking the first step, he was also sure that if he allowed him to get to know him better, he’d soon realize he could have literally anyone else. He wasn’t good at this after all – at being flirty and charming, let alone impressing someone. John had been so sure he’d stay single forever, the same way he had for the past decade – which sounded worse when he thought about it but it was true after all.

Tonight though, John tried not to focus on his flaws and insecurities but on Quinn and the way he looked like he’d made an effort for him – which had made him smile to himself subtly. It had been unexpected but this didn’t have to be a big deal, right? It was just dinner, he reminded himself. Taking in the other man’s reaction, John’s own eyes widened – had he overstepped? God, he was so out of his comfort zone but he tilted his head casually, listening as his features shifted faintly. There was no hint of judgement though, merely surprise. “Oh! Wow – that’s…,” he trailed off, a smile tugging on his lips, “that’s great, Quinn. Seven years is a long time!” John told him genuinely, not having expected the answer. Quinn was in good shape, so he’d expected it to be a dietary restriction but he figured that it was a good sign that Quinn was honest about it right away, without trying to lie about it. He’d rather know about it than push him to have a drink after all. His lips remained curved into a gentle smile and he simply shook his head. “I don’t mind either! I like wine but I also like water,” John teased, appreciating the offer. “So – we can both just stay sober tonight,” he added with a raised brow before their conversation shifted. John couldn’t deny that he had questions but he’d also picked up on the way Quinn was trying not to dwell, so he wouldn’t. An intrigued expression settled on John’s features as he gave a nod. “Only a few times but it’s been a while for me, too.” He left out the detail that a restaurant like this felt a little intimidating when you went there on your own or merely a friend. “That sounds incredible though,” John mused, a smile washing over him. “I am a terrible cook so I can’t say I could or would ever make it myself but kudos to you for even trying! I’m sure the outcome wasn’t all that terrible though, right?”

__

At John’s reaction, Quinn relaxed a little bit. Something like that wasn’t exactly easy news to hear, or break to someone on a first date. Wasn’t it some sort of red flag or something? But, John was supportive, nice, and it made the tension in his shoulders disappear. They would at least be able to enjoy the rest of their dinner, some of the heavy shit out of the way. “Thanks,” he said, smiling at John, laughing off his own nerves. John was willing to stay sober, to not drink around him and that brought a relief he hadn’t been expecting. “It’s fine, but thank you. For respecting that, even though you don’t have to.” He cleared his throat, before he shifted the discussion. He figured there were plenty of questions, there always were, but he wasn’t ready for that. He’d been honest, given enough tonight. He wanted to focus on the other, on John and getting to know him, not dwell on his own fucking problems.

The question felt empty, low effort and maybe it was, something to just shift the conversation. But, Quinn nodded at their shared lack of frequency to the place. His face twisted in disbelief at the comment, laughing lightly. “You can’t?” The question didn’t come out mockingly, only a curious surprise behind the words. “You seem like someone who can cook, you got that whole important art world vibe. Figured you’re out there making fancy dishes all the time.” Quinn shook his head though. “The first couple batches when I was teaching myself to cook were not great, but they’ve gotten better.” He had finally put his menu back down, his eyes settling on the other man. “Really though, either I’m misremembering the dish or they’ve got some kind of secret ingredient in there I just can’t figure out.”

__

For John, it hadn’t even been a question of whether or not he’d respect this newly discovered piece of information. The idea didn’t put him off, let alone scare him – considering that Quinn had managed to stay sober for that long was a testament to how much he wanted to keep himself out of trouble and John felt like he’d be an asshole if he considered that a deal breaker. If this date was to lead to another or anything other than the way they had been all this time. He wasn’t sure if he had any expectations – not so much because of Quinn but because of himself. The man had no idea how to do this. How to seem alluring and attractive to anyone, really but either way and his nerves aside, this felt like it could just be a nice evening over dinner and a little less small talk. “Of course,” John was quick to assure, clearing his throat almost at the same time as Quinn – which made him laugh softly, his head shaking lightly. They were both nervous, John could tell but the only reason they were was because this felt a little more official. A little more like a hit or miss. “Thank you for telling me,” John replied. “Even though you didn’t have to,” he teased, a half-grin spreading across his lips.

They were warming up to the idea of this being a date, John was sure of it because the conversation felt a lot like testing the waters and yet, he was eager to get to know Quinn more. Granted, they’d been talking for a while, had shared a few bits here and there but never like this. They rarely dug deeper. Another laugh escaped him at how genuinely surprised Quinn seemed and he shook his head repeatedly as he went on. “Oh – god, no. I’m glad I can get away with pretending like I know what I’m doing but I’m really more of a takeout guy. I like a greasy pizza or Chinese,” he admitted, pulling a face. “The only thing I can make are pancakes and eggs. Maybe pasta…if I have some help with the sauce,” he half-joked. “So, no – my culinary experience has nothing on my expertise when it comes to art.” There was a spark of amusement settling in his eyes – a hint of surprise that this was the read Quinn had on him. “Well…,” John said, looking around for a moment before finding the other man’s eyes. “There’s only one way to find out tonight! A new chance if you will and maybe I can even be of help.”

__

There were so many things in Quinn’s past he figured would be a red flag, Hell, maybe some of those things should be. Even the admission of a drinking problem, being sober now was a big one. John was kind, though. He knew there was plenty more to tell, plenty that might turn the other man away. That could wait. If it went poorly tonight, why explain another addiction when he didn’t have to? This one came naturally. The other, that could live in peace and in his past for now. Something he could worry about if this did go anywhere. He met John’s smile, and nodded. “Felt like you deserved to know,” he said, shifting in his seat, trying to hide his discomfort. He leaned forward, his elbows coming to rest on the table gently, looking the other man over once more. An innocent gaze, taking in just how the other looked. Quinn wasn’t used to this kind of effort, it’d been a long time since he’d had to. But, John seemed to be in that state easily. Handsome, soft and comfortable. It made Quinn feel at ease with him normally, a way he didn’t usually feel with the Goldfinch folks.

But, tonight was a different feeling than at the gallery when Quinn stopped in. That was obvious going into this. He wondered if he should have done something a little more casual, a little more easy going for them to start, but this seemed like it would have been more John’s style. A nicer meal, a nicer place. John seemed like he was far from Quinn’s standard Docks comfort. Though, as he spoke, it was almost a relief, easy and something far more sustainable for Quinn if this went anywhere. “Greasy pizza and Chinese takeout are a staple,” he laughed, trying to reassure John that that was completely acceptable. “I’m terrible with pancakes, I really can never get them right. Oh, I’ve got the sauce down, I can follow a recipe pretty well, I got you.” He grinned for a moment, before suddenly feeling a little bold at assuming there would be even a teasing chance there would be a chance of that. But, when John leaned in to offer his help, as if they were sharing a secret, Quinn’s smile only settled further, relaxed and comfortable. “I may need your help, you’re going to have fresh taste on this. I’m sure we can figure it out and give this place a run for their money when we do.”

It was then that the waiter brought their waters, setting them down in front of each of them, as well as setting a small basket of bread between them. Quinn settled back into his chair and gave him a Thanks.

“Are you ready to order?” the waiter asked, and Quinn looked to John, for his approval. “If you are.”

__

While a part of John wanted to know more already, the curiosity being a natural reaction rather than a need to test Quinn, he could tell that this was venturing into something too heavy for a first date. Either way, he appreciated the honesty and was sure that he’d be able to navigate it better now – knowing better than to offer Quinn anything alcoholic or ask him to get drinks if there’d be more dates to come – though he felt like maybe that thought was just him being a little too eager so he filed it back for another time. His features softened at the casual words and yet, they felt genuine. “I appreciate it,” John told him gently, adjusting to Quinn’s wish to move on from it even without him having to voice it. He could feel the other man’s eyes on him and for a moment, John tried not to get self-conscious about it. It had been a while since anyone had taken an interest in him that way but instead of judging him, Quinn seemed to just take him in - observing. His eyes averted for a moment, yet a soft smile remained as he reached up to fix his glasses, clearing his throat before daring to meet Quinn’s eyes once more.

It was interesting to see how their energy shifted – how suddenly all those gestures got a different meaning, how the stolen glances and nervous laughs suddenly made sense. John felt a little silly now, having filed them away as nothing but Quinn being friendly towards him. The place Quinn had chosen for them felt much more official. Like anyone would expect a date but truth be told – John had never cared much about prestige. He liked nice things. Extraordinary things. Expensive things. But he never expected them for himself. He’d been a little surprised at Quinn’s choice but he enjoyed the atmosphere – the dim light and soft background noises. He was also well aware of how people saw him, dressed in more formal attire, some of his clothes sporting the tag of well-known designers, all while standing in front of paintings that sold for horrendous amounts of money but that only made it more fun for John. The man loved the surprised looks he got when he shared his preference for fast food. His love for trash tv and being outdoors. A relieved laugh escaped John in return and he gave a hum in appreciation. “Thank god because they definitely are in my household and always have been,” he admitted with a grin before he tilted his head, prominent brows raising in surprise at the boldness of Quinn’s statement but he liked the confidence – or maybe the reassurance that he hadn’t messed up just yet. “See? I’d say that makes for a good balance.” His lips twitched into a half-smile. “You got the sauce down, I got the pancakes – it’d be a well-divided team effort because I for one am a hopeless case,” he joked, mirroring Quinn’s grin before looking down to where his hands were folded in front of him, resting against the table where he toyed with one of the rings decorating his fingers. It caught him off-guard just how easy it was to allow himself to flirt a little, to tease the other man with each of them playing along. Another laugh escaped and he was quick to nod. “Gladly! I’ll do my very best. Not that I got a very acquired palate but I can give it a try.”

Once their waters arrived, John’s attention shifted momentarily to thank the waiter as well but his eyes were quick to focus back on his date. “I think I am – go right ahead, though I am very curious about that artichoke chicken dish now.”

__

Maybe this had been a long time coming, too long, really. It’d been months since they’d met, started getting to know each other and developing a friendship. It’d been months since Quinn had started flirting, even, but it only seemed like it was a matter of days since he even realized John was receptive, before he was bold enough to ask the other man out. John seemed too good for someone like Quinn, and he felt lucky that the other man gave him the time of day at all. The restaurant had made sense when he’d planned it, something nice, an attempt to step into John’s world a little more, but for as uncomfortable as he’d been, and knowing that John was a little more laidback than he’d expected he suddenly wished they were chatting over a pizza. It seemed like it was easier to talk that way, casual, low pressure. The only reassurance he gave himself was that even if John was more relaxed than this offered, there was no confusion on Quinn’s interest. John deserved a nice dinner, something special, even if this didn’t go anywhere. John’s words following his own, though, an idea that there would be another time even so early on in the evening only pulled his face into a smirk, relieved and interested in that prospect however it came about. “Balance like that is always good to have.”

His eyes wandered down to John’s hands, taking in the rings, and how John fidgeted with them. It was almost comforting to know that John seemed just as nervous as Quinn felt. It didn’t seem to make sense why anyone would be quite so nervous with him, but it made it easier to just be there with no regrets to name. When John ordered, Quinn nodded, giving John another smile. “I’ll have the same.” The waiter confirmed softly, as he took their menus, and walked back to the kitchen.

Quinn’s attention never fully left John, his eyes drifting down to his own hands, to the other tables only momentarily, but John held onto it. “So,” he said, reaching for a piece of bread from the basket. “I don’t know that I’ve ever asked. But, where are you from?” It seemed like a silly question, one Quinn never asked people if he knew they weren’t townies like him. “I mean, you’re not originally from Crescent Harbor, right? A small town like this everyone knows a little about everyone. And I’ll be honest, I don’t know that I know anything other than the bits you’ve already told me.”

__

John knew that he was obvious when it came down to his nerves but one thing he was sure Quinn had already learned was that he wasn’t good at concealing how he felt. He knew he was expressive, his features never quite allowing him to be subtle and even his quirks gave him away. The way he cleared his throat, the way he played with his rings and reached up a little too often to fix his glasses – they were all indicators for how nervous he truly was. He knew he had no reason to, did he? Quinn wasn’t a stranger at this point and he did feel comfortable but maybe the more official part of it all, the less casual way of having a coffee together or chatting within the safety that was the gallery or running into each other at random caused all this to shift a little. Not that John minded – in fact, he was relieved. He’d wondered before, of course he had but he hadn’t expected Quinn to be interested. It was like they lived in different worlds entirely but never in a bad way, they had enough common interests but John knew that depending on what neighborhood you lived in, the town already had a certain picture of you and John barely occupied the docks the same way he assumed Quinn didn’t necessarily wander around Goldfinch much.

Once they’d ordered, John smiled lightly. “Time to find out what the missing ingredient is, hm?” He joked, yet he was entirely serious before his brows raised almost immediately, his focus entirely on Quinn again as he reached for his glass of water, taking a first sip as he listened, chuckling at the rather random yet basic question. “Oh god – now that I think about it, I probably only told you that I moved from Seattle but no, I’m not even from the area. I’m Canadian. I was born and raised in Toronto,” he shared, shaking his head. “If I’ve learned one thing so far having lived here for the past few years, it’s that you learn to spot newbies quickly,” John added with a chuckle. “You’re bound to keep running into each other if you’re actually located here, I think. At least that’s what keeps happening to me and well – kept happening to us, no?” His head tilted slightly, lips curving in slight amusement. “I’d be happy to change that though. What else would you like to know? I’m an open book,” he said, opening his palms as if to make a point, leaning back in his seat a little.

__

Quinn sometimes felt out of his depth with John, maybe he’d made the man too complex in his mind, but with the confirmation that John had not only lived in Seattle, but was from somewhere else entirely seemed almost intimidating. “Wow,” the word fell from his mouth on instinct. “And you settled on here?” he asked, more teasing than anything. “I remember going into Seattle when I was younger and just thinking that was where I wanted to go.” He smiled. “Wild to think a guy used to big cities would want to be here of all places.” Quinn took a sip of his own water, pondering over John’s own teasing question, kept happening to us, no? Quinn desperately tried to hide the laugh that bubbled in his chest, and the way he suddenly felt restless in his seat. “Oh, yeah. Running into each other so much, you’d think one of us was into the other. Unavoidable hazard of a small town, what can I say?” he teased back.

Quinn bit into the bread, and thought over his questions as he chewed, easing back into his chair a bit. “What did draw you here? I mean, I know I don’t know a whole lot about art, but I can’t imagine the scene here is exactly something to jump at compared to the city.” He didn’t tack on that he was glad it had brought the other man here, that they’d met and he could have some kind of casual flirt, a date, and wherever it ended up leading to, with someone who didn’t know him before, someone who had a cleaner image of him than anyone else in town. “Though, I’m sure the gallery is looking better now that someone who’s seen more of the art scene other places is running it.”

__

While John barely aligned with the image of him that seemed to live in Quinn’s mind, he was happy to share more about himself and shape it to something that felt a little more authentic instead. He knew what kind of impression he left, what he came across as but John truly wasn’t as stuck up and pretentious as his occupation and overall demeanor made it seem. Quinn’s reaction made him laugh – he could tell it was genuine but he was quick to nod. “I did! And have done so for the past…,” he pondered, pulling his lower lip between his teeth as he squinted, “six years? So it’s safe to say it was a rather final choice,” the man added, humming in understanding. He could see the appeal and maybe he looked at it from a different perspective considering that big cities were all he’d known before. “I like it,” John admitted with an almost shy smile. “Don’t get me wrong, I loved traveling before I settled here but…so far I like living smaller if you will,” he explained. “The anonymity can have its perks but it never quite felt like home.” At his teasing, John let out another small laugh, his eyes sparkling with amusement as he looked back at Quinn, finally allowing himself to let his eyes linger for a moment as well. “Well, luckily one of us had the guts to finally step it up,” he joked in return, tilting his head. “In case you haven’t been able to figure that out yet, I’m not all that good with picking up on these things. I blame everyone around here being too friendly towards me.”

The amused smile remained on John’s lips and he reached for a piece of bread himself, his appetite suddenly making itself known but he’d been too lost in their conversation to realize until now. “That was exactly what drew me to Crescent,” he admitted. “Not that I ever planned on staying for as long as I had – I knew I wanted to live in a small town at some point and I came here for a trip on a weekend and fell in love with it. I learned that they had a position opening up for curation at the gallery and well…I gave myself a year but sometimes life just takes a turn that way,” he explained with a subtle shrug. “I worked in bigger galleries than this – not that that’s hard to do,” he chuckled, shaking his head before he continued, “but it had a certain charm to it, one I haven’t seen before. The art world can be…,” he trailed off, sighing as he tried to find a word, a brow raising before he leaned in slightly. “It can be a little pretentious sometimes. A little fake even and this felt more sincere to me. A gallery displaying art made by and for locals,” he concluded before his eyes averted bashfully at the compliment, his head tilting slightly. “Thank you. I’d hope so…otherwise I’d be very bad at my job,” he teased, taking another sip of water before clearing his throat. “What about you though? I know you’ve lived here for all your life, right? What made you stay?” He asked, popping a piece of bread into his mouth as dark eyes focused back on Quinn’s features.

__

His own gaze was filled with interest and amusement. Quinn knew that his time here was colored differently than someone like John. He didn’t hate Crescent Harbor, it had everything he needed, but there was plenty that he wanted to distance himself from, and he didn’t see what exactly drew anyone into the town. But, hearing John’s reasoning, he supposed he could understand it. Living smaller. Wasn’t that what Quinn had been doing in recent years? Simply trying not to be a burden anymore. “Smaller living, I get that.” He agreed with a nod. He listened as John spoke, genuinely interested and curious about not only what ended up bringing him here, but the small bits of his past that flitted in. He liked what John had to say, liked his reasons even if there were pieces of him that didn’t understand entirely. It made sense, to some degree, a sincerity to the town that certainly lived there, but that sincerity that Quinn himself knew hadn’t ever been a friend to him. He didn’t hold it against John, though, it was a new place to him, but the gentle insult to the pretentious and fakeness of bigger cities in John’s world at least help him understand a little more. “No, of course. It always looks great in there. You clearly know what you’re doing.”

The question to Quinn, though, was more complex, too heavy to answer naturally. He took another piece of bread, tearing a piece off and popping it into his mouth as he tried to find a simple way to say it. “I have,” he answered, swallowing the bite. “It just never worked out,” he said vaguely. “We stuck around when my son was born to get some help because me and my ex were just kids ourselves. But, she never left, and I can’t imagine leaving while he’s still growing up.” He gave John a soft smile. Talking about these things with John, on a date especially, felt strange. Mentioning Mason, Lara, all of it. He left the heavier shit, left out the mention of being broke, struggling with everything he had. John had pieces of his past that he was sure could grant a little insight. That seemed like enough. “Plus, at this point, I’m in my 30s and never really went anywhere. It’s hard to see myself not here. I think it’s just where I’m supposed to be. If that makes sense.”

__

It felt good – diving into the details a little more now that the two of them had the chance to. John had known Quinn for a few months now but right now it felt like they’d barely known each other at all. They’d kept their conversations light and casual, flirty, now that John reflected back but he’d never minded it. If anything, that was the point of exploring this, right? To get a feel for one another. For whether or not this one date would lead to another or even several more – not that John would get ahead of himself like that just yet. He smiled, nodding. It was a strange concept to think that while those who’d been born and raised here wanted to leave, yet he’d actively chosen to stay later on in his life. Granted, Quinn couldn’t know all the things that had led up to this moment and John wasn’t sure if it was the kind of thing to share over dinner. Yet, he was sharing more than he had without feeling like Quinn was judging him at all, if anything he was listening to him – showing genuine interest – and that alone was enough to reassure the man. “Thank you,” John repeated sincerely, a smile splaying across the curve of his lips.

As he mirrored the question back to him, John could sense the slight hesitation, nodding softly as the other man spoke. His son. How could he have forgotten about that? It was still a foreign concept to him – being a father. Having that kind of responsibility and it was then when he realized he’d never asked further. All Quinn had shared was that he had a son, hinting at the fact that his mother and him were no longer together so he nodded. “That makes perfect sense. I imagine it to be much harder to move when you want to be close to your child – that’s a good thing though, not everyone sticks around,” he said and maybe that was his own biography speaking but he let out a gentle breath instead, looking back at Quinn. “How old is your son now?” He asked curiously, his tone non-judgmental as he took another bite of his bread and another sip of his water. He didn’t mind the topic, let alone the fact that the other man had a kid. It wasn’t a dealbreaker to him – if this was to get any more serious that was. Chuckling, John shook his head. “I mean, I moved to Washington when I was just about thirty so…,” he joked, a teasing grin on his lips. “It’s never too late for new beginnings in my book but I do think that makes sense. I probably would’ve moved back to Toronto myself had I not gotten so attached.” It was then when their food arrived, interrupting their conversation briefly but John’s attention stayed focused on Quinn, merely straying to thank the waiter and shift in his seat. “But – here we are,” John added finally, a content smile gracing his lips.

__

Quinn felt a small pang at John’s words. The mention that not everyone stuck around was not meant to be pointed, maybe something personal but not at Quinn. It wasn’t the time to bring up all the bad, that was something they’d deal with down the road if that was where this went. “I do my best. I want to make sure he’s got a good support system.” He took a sip of his water, and slightly paled at the question as he thought about it. “He’s fifteen, just turned this past September. Starting high school and everything. Which makes me feel old as Hell,” he said with a laugh. Mason was a piece he never felt a hint of shame on, his only regrets surrounding it were in regards to himself. He was proud of Mason, even if he hadn’t played as positive of a role until the past few years. “He’s a good kid. Way better than I was at his age.” He was relieved once more, though, that John didn’t seem judgmental. He knew that he’d mentioned Mason in passing, but it was hardly an unusual thing if Mason had been younger, but having a kid when you weren’t even out of high school wasn’t exactly a shining badge to wear.

Their food arriving was a welcome interruption. He didn’t exactly think about leaving often anymore, more accepting the permanent stay in Crescent Harbor. It was fine, he’d accepted it plenty of years ago. But, John was kind, as always, giving him a level of support on something that barely ever crossed his mind anymore. He thanked the waiter, before his gaze moved back to John, meeting his smile. “Here we are,” he echoed. “And now you’re roped into helping me steal their recipe. I hope you’re ready for this important job,” he said, his tone teasing and soft. It was easy, their meal and their conversations stayed comfortable, that initial nervousness had practically disappeared by the time their food was in front of them. Whatever this was leading to, Quinn wanted that. He liked John. It didn’t have to be serious, but looking over at John, he wanted something. John had humored him along the way, and was sweet and understanding every step of it.

By the time they were finished, Quinn still wasn’t exactly sure what this all would end up amounting to. The waiter swung by with the bill, Quinn was quick to slip his card in and hand it back, his face still grinning across the table at the other man, making polite chit chat as he waited for the waiter to return, this time, signing the receipt and leaving his tip. He peered over at John, once more, not exactly wanting to end the night yet. Only giving himself a reassurance that they would likely do this again. “Are you ready?” he asked. “I don’t want to take up your whole night,” he said, smiling.

__

“If it makes you feel old, then what does that make me?” John teased, his words never anything but teasing as he grinned and his features softened. “I’m glad to hear that. And I’m sure it wasn’t easy raising a child being so young but I think it says a lot about you that you stayed – you must be so proud,” he said, eager to talk about this as casually as they could. He didn’t want this to be weird or too personal but his words were genuine. John was sure that now wasn’t the time to share more about his own experience but he was convinced Quinn was a good man. He had to be if he never left the town despite wanting to in order to be closer to his kid.

A laugh escaped and John covered his mouth subtly, as if they were sharing a secret once again. “Does this count as a crime if it’s for personal use only? Because this smells delicious and if you’re as good in the kitchen as you claim to be, I’ll be even happier to help if it means I get to eat this again,” he teased, only half-joking now that he was feeling a little bolder about his flirting. This felt good and easy enough – maybe John wasn’t as rusty as he’d thought he’d be or maybe the person he was on a date with being Quinn made it that much easier. It felt familiar enough and their gentle teasing and joking around caused every ounce of tension to fade.

As the evening carried on though, John was starting to feel restless all over again. He didn’t want it to end, let alone did he want this the last time they did this. He wasn’t sure what it was about Quinn but there was something and a part of him felt ready to allow himself to explore it. After having been single for years, John had come to peace with this just not being in the books for him but with Quinn being ever so charming and funny and kind towards him, that thought seemed to melt away. A part of him wanted to complain about him paying for him but he accepted it in the end, watching Quinn do so as if it was the most natural thing in the world but John didn’t take it for granted. Looking him over, John couldn’t help but laugh softly at the way they both couldn’t quite seem to get themselves to get up and get moving – as If neither of them wanted to let that night end just yet. “I am, thank you,” he told him before snorting and giving a fond roll of his eyes. “You say that like I’m ready to bail when really, this has been the most fun I’ve had in a long time. I’m having a great time, Quinn. You’re not taking up my night at all.” With that, John pushed his chair back though, letting out a breath as he got up hesitatingly.

__

“I’m having a great time too,” he said, a relaxed smile resting comfortably on Quinn’s face. Quinn followed John’s movement, pushing his chair out, and getting up. He didn’t want to end dinner, didn’t want to end their night. It felt too bold to ask him back to his place, didn’t want to push or assume. It was certainly something he wanted to do again, and extending the night to either of their places could come along with that. He’d never really dated, Lara was the only one he’d had anything serious with, or even a formal date with, and that had been years ago. But, it felt easy with John, a comfort from their budding friendship before all of this. Still, he wasn’t sure what the next moves were. He just tried to read the other man, tried to figure out just what was appropriate to ask. He sidled up next to John as they made their way out. His hand slipped into John’s, a gentle touch as they walked together.

As soon as they were out, back to John’s car, Quinn finally dropped the other man’s hand. Even for the short time, the loss of John’s hand felt weighty. He made his way to the other side of the car, and slid into the passenger seat. “I had a really great time tonight,” he said, his eyes looking over to John. “I know you said I’m not taking up your time, but I still stand by it. I’d still be up for something else, but I don’t want you to get sick of me just in one night,” he joked. “I’m hoping we can do this again, you know?”

__

The confirmation caused a grin to break out on John’s features. It should’ve been ridiculous because he could tell they were getting along and enjoying each other’s company and yet, he had the audacity to question it up until Quinn’s reassurance. Yet, it was then when John started to feel a little lost. Was this the end of their date already? He didn’t want it to be if he was honest to himself but he also wasn’t sure what the next step could be. He felt drawn to Quinn, his eyes constantly on him and as unfamiliar of a feeling as that was by now, after years of not really taking interest in anyone that way, John felt almost a little overwhelmed. John had never been the type to date around or sleep around for that matter. He’d made his fair share of experiences but if those had made him realize one thing, it was that sometimes you should trust your gut and with Quinn, there was nothing that alarmed him. Quite the opposite – he found it hard not to hope for more, yet he tried not to just yet. A gentle smile tugged on his lips when Quinn was bold enough to step into his personal space – not in a way that felt overwhelming but welcome and when his hand sought out his, John was surprised at the sudden touch but let his own fingers interlace with Quinn’s for a moment. They could unpack that later – he was sure of it. Right now, John merely let himself enjoy the connection, the way it made his heart beat a little faster and made his skin warm up.

John almost immediately missed the touch he’d not known for what must’ve been years and a part of him wanted to reach out again, keep them connected but he didn’t want to make this weird or overwhelming for either of them so he merely smiled back at Quinn and slipped into his car wordlessly. “I did, too,” he told Quinn genuinely, his eyes finding Quinn’s in the dim light of the parking lot illuminating the inside of his car. A genuine laugh escaped him and he shook his head. “I don’t think that’s possible…,” he said softly before falling silent for a moment. “Thank you,” John added. “For taking me out tonight and treating me to a nice dinner,” he told him. “I haven’t been on a date in quite some time and to say I was nervous would be an understatement but – you made it very easy to enjoy myself. Truth be told, I don’t really want it to end just yet so I also stand by the fact that you’re not taking up my time at all. I have no other plans tonight for a change so…,” he joked, trailing off with a grin. “I’m usually very busy watching TV at this hour but I’m open for suggestions.” With that, John started the engine but his eyes wandered back to Quinn for another moment. “I’d love to do this again, too, though. Whenever you’d like.”

__

Everything John said took away the tension that had come to reside in Quinn’s shoulders. The uncertainty if he’d misread the situation or had been alone in enjoying himself. It had just been dinner, it shouldn't have pulled him like this, made him want more so quickly. Yet, he did. He could suggest going and grabbing a coffee, going for a walk, something but his mind was suddenly blank, staring at the other man, engrossed in him. His face met John’s smile, and he shook his head. “It’s been a long time for me,” he admitted. “You definitely made it easy to shake the dust off.” He laughed lightly along with the man. TV was usually where he found himself as well, but compared to John’s company it lost its appeal.

The engine came to life, the warm glow of the street lights outside trading for the cool of the lights inside the car. His eyes met John’s once more, the confirmation of doing this again echoed in his ear for a long moment. A smile creeping over his features, before his eyes trailed down absently, landing on the other man’s lips. It was without any other hesitation that he was leaning in, pressing his lips to John’s. His hand coming to rest against the other man’s jaw to draw him in. Nothing urgent or rough. And over far too quickly. He pulled away, his eyes flirting open to meet John’s once more, taking in the warmth of his dark brown eyes. He wanted more, wanting to chase that as much as he could, but he held himself in place, smiling to John. His hand never left its home on the other man’s skin, simply slipping down against the warmth of his neck to rest his fingers gently. “I hope that was okay,” he said, a laugh framing his words.

__

The reassurance was all they’d needed for the last bit of uncertainty to fade away and John, for the first time in years, felt ready to let this happen. Quinn wasn’t a stranger after all. He’d proven to him that he was genuine – otherwise he wouldn’t have spent months talking to him, right? Again, John didn’t want to keep his hopes up but Quinn made it easy to forget the times in the past that had burned him and when he looked back at him, his eyes meeting a pair of warm blues, John couldn’t help but feel like he should lean in. Like there was some tension between them that was far off from the nervousness they’d radiated earlier that night. It had been just dinner but John already wanted to see Quinn again, even with him still right there in front of him. He chuckled softly, shaking his head. “That makes two of us then,” he said, the words once again calming him – they were in this together now.

The silence that settled for a moment didn’t feel awkward in the slightest but John didn’t miss the way Quinn’s eyes dropped and for a moment he wondered if he was making this up – if it was wishful thinking that he’d fixed on his lips for a little too long but suddenly, the other man was leaning in, his face right there and breath warm on his skin and John allowed himself to melt into it, meeting him for a chaste, gentle kiss – merely a press of lips and a tender brush of Quinn’s calloused fingertips against his jaw. John let out a shaky breath in surprise, his own eyes meeting Quinn’s as he let out a small chuckle. The touch against the side of his neck made his skin prickle and hairs rise as he held his glance and it was his turn to let his eyes linger on Quinn’s lips as he spoke, a laugh of his own escaping. “That was – yeah, god – no, that was completely okay,” he breathed and couldn’t help the broad grin that spread. “It was fine, actually,” John teased, meeting Quinn’s glance again as he bit his lip, pondering if it was okay to want more so soon already but he let himself take the leap and closed the distance once more, keeping their kiss light once again before he pulled away with a soft hum. “Definitely okay,” he laughed. “So – where to?”

__

When John met him for another kiss, Quinn didn’t want that one to end. It was light, and soft, something chaste and sweet just as it seemed like it should be so soon. Still, pulling away felt difficult. The touch and the affection felt foreign to him after going so long without, but it was welcome, and with John, it just left him wanting more. He could have pulled John in deeper, held him to the kiss for longer, and he wanted to, but it was too soon for that, wasn’t it? He let his hand drop from John’s neck, falling back to his side. He pulled away, the hum that escaped John left him reeling a little, his mind suddenly wandering over the noise. It only left him wanting more, wanting to hear more of that. He bit his lip, gentle and let it slip back out from his teeth with ease. He cleared his throat, an attempt at clearing his mind from where it had trailed off to.

At John’s question, Quinn hardly hesitated before responding. “We can go back to my place,” the words slipped out, sounding as casual as Quinn could muster. “I mean, for like coffee and maybe watch some TV,” he said, a gentle laugh floating the words. “If that’s what we’d be doing anyway, you know?” He didn’t want to overstep a boundary, didn’t want to overwhelm them both. He wasn’t exactly a casual hookup kind of guy, and he didn’t get that impression from John either. They were both grown men, they both knew where this could lead if John agreed, what Quinn tried not to imply. Nothing had to happen, it could stay innocent and they could just do exactly what Quinn had suggested if they really wanted to. His eyes didn’t stray from John’s though, even as he settled back into the seat, his head leaning back slightly against the headrest. “Or wherever you want, really. I’m good with anything.”

__

A part of John had wanted to linger, too – there was no denying that. There was no point in lying to himself and pretending like he didn’t want to deepen the kiss either, to keep Quinn close and see where it’d take them but he was thankful for the way Quinn seemed to understand. It was new for both of them – not entirely but John didn’t want to put too much pressure on them either. This didn’t have to be more or let alone physical. John enjoyed their conversations and now, as he’d discovered, he also enjoyed kissing Quinn. His brows raised almost immediately at Quinn’s suggestion but the smile that spread across his lips was amused, not at all put off by the idea. “Coffee and TV sound good – if you don’t mind me occupying more of your night,” John added, always checking in for their consent, trying to keep them on the same page even though Quinn had suggested it.

“I mean, that’d make sense, right? I’d literally just go home and do just that after dropping you off,” he admitted with a grin. John wasn’t naïve. Oblivious, yes but he’d picked up on their chemistry and the tension that was still building between them. Their kisses had left him wanting more and maybe, just maybe, he was hoping for it to turn into more kisses – ones that lasted longer than the pecks they’d shared and maybe they’d allow themselves to let them grow deeper but before John could drift too far, he snapped himself out of it. He let out a deep breath – an attempt to ground himself. Was this a good idea? John had no idea just yet but it felt right, so why not go for it? With that last reassuring thought, John chuckled and started pulling out of the parking lot, looking over at Quinn briefly. “You’ll have to navigate me,” he declared, once again confirming that going home with Quinn was more than good with him.

__

“Not at all,” Quinn confirmed. “I’m more than okay with you occupying my night.” It wasn’t needed, but Quinn appreciated the check in. As John rambled on, Quinn just nodded, doing his best to hide the teasing grin that threatened to take over his face. “Right,” he agreed. “It just makes the most sense. Neither one of us wants to go home and just watch TV alone, might as well just hang out together.” That was all that had to happen, Quinn assured himself. He wanted more, sure. The kisses they’d already shared were just enough to leave him wanting to turn that into more. It didn’t have to turn into an entire night, only going as far as they decided. Still, he wanted those soft, quick kisses to go deeper, longer, let them take over his brain for however long they could. Maybe if this was someone else, someone he had just met he would have been okay ending the night here, being dropped off and waiting to see them again before anything more. But, his interest in John had been lasting for months, and now with a successful dinner, and the seal broken on affection, he didn’t want to let the night end just like that.

John pulled out of the parking lot, and Quinn felt the tension build all over again, of what would come. He gave John directions, telling him where to turn, and when. Their conversation nearly dropped to zero as the two focused on the roads. The short drive in the small town felt too long. “Okay, the next driveway on your right is my place,” he said, pointing it out ahead of time for John to slow and pull in. As soon as they parked, Quinn looked over at John with a frown. “Make sure to lock your car. I know we’ll just be inside. But, I know it’s not really the best neighborhood.” Quinn let himself out of the car, pulling his keys out of his pocket. He waited for John to come around his side of the car, before heading up to the front door, and unlocking it. He switched on the light, and stepped inside, moving to let John in. “It’s not much, but please, make yourself comfortable.” He felt a little self conscious over the place. It wasn’t dirty, or messy, just the cheap thrifted furniture mismatched with the things he’d made himself set up around the place. Nothing seemed to match, not the TV stand he’d built to the cheap plaid couch that sat across from it in the living room. Not John and the rest of the room. “I’ll, um, put on a pot.”

__

John knew he didn’t have to ask Quinn again or make sure he was really okay with it – the kisses and invitation should’ve been more than enough confirmation but he couldn’t help it. A part of him still thought this was surreal, too good to be true because while John wasn’t someone for one night only types of things either, whether that was a date or something more, it felt safer with Quinn – he knew him and his interest felt more genuine. He wanted to continue seeing him after all, right? He grinned back at the other man when he reasoned their decision and nodded. “Exactly.” John didn’t expect anything to come out of this – he didn’t expect more but that didn’t mean he wasn’t hoping for it. Kissing Quinn had felt good already, sharing the gentle press of their lips together but he was itching for more, he could try to deny but the truth was that it had been a long time coming, whether he was just now realizing it or not.

They were silent, safe for the way Quinn navigated him to his home and once John parked the car, he looked over at the other man, giving a gentle nod. He was well aware of the reputation the neighborhood had but that didn’t taint the way he saw Quinn. “Got it,” he told him with a reassuring glance and got out as well, locking the car like the other man had advised him to before following him inside. It was then when the nerves seemed to set back in and the man let out a breath before looking around. John was quick to shake his head at the comment. “It’s your place,” he said. “So thank you for inviting me in,” he added. The place was tidy but it made John smile because it was almost like he’d imagined it to be. A little scattered. A little mismatched – he picked up on the fact that Quinn didn’t care much about the things he did like design or what color went with what if the plaid couch was any indication but John didn’t judge and his focus wasn’t so much on the interior anyways but his eyes followed the other man. “Yeah – okay,” he breathed. “Thank you,” John said again, shrugging off his coat before putting it away and without thinking twice about it, he followed Quinn – not wanting to be too far apart.

__

Quinn turned the corner into the kitchen, digging into cabinets for the coffee grounds. He was aware of John, almost too aware that the other man was staying close. Something he wanted, something that he was thrilled at the prospect of. He didn’t want coffee, not really, not now. He wanted to just sit with John, kiss him and embrace what this visit really was. He grabbed a coffee filter, and put it into the maker, scooping grounds into it. What did you say to someone you brought home when you weren’t trying to make it seem like you were interested only in a casual hookup, a one night thing? This was all new to Quinn, it was new to John too, and based on either of their shared quiet, neither of them was exactly sure. Because that wasn’t at all what he wanted. He filled the machine with water, finally leaving it so it could do the rest. He finally turned to John, a goofy smile taking over his face as he took the other man in. “Hi,” he said, the word feeling dumb as it slipped from his lips. “It’ll, um, it’ll be a few minutes. Old machine, takes a while.” Each word he spoke was punctuated by a step toward John, slow and encroaching into his space.

“So, we could, you know, find something to watch, or-” he cut himself off. His gaze trailed back to John’s lips, something he didn’t even try to hide. He didn’t know why he was pretending, really. He didn’t give John a chance to agree, or lead the two of them over to the couch. He leaned in, capturing John’s lips with his own. This kiss was something else from the last ones before they’d arrived. It wasn’t urgent or desperate, though both things were becoming more true of Quinn as they stood there. It was still soft, but one he didn’t pull away from, longer, only becoming deeper. His hand came back up, this time coming to rest comfortably in the crook of his neck, his fingers slipping into John’s hair, and letting the kiss last as long as he could. When he finally pulled away, he only did so far enough for his half-lidded eyes to meet John’s, staying close enough to feel the warmth of John’s breath land against his skin. “Or we can do that,” he breathed out, his lopsided grin ever present. “Whichever you’d prefer.”

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John felt a little awkward – unable to help but also unable to occupy himself and how could he when his mind was already drifting. Instead, he watched Quinn, allowed himself a moment to see the other man in a different light. He’d always thought that he was attractive but maybe he’d stopped himself from unpacking just how attractive he thought he was. But now that he knew there was more to their friendship, despite not quite able to put a name on it, he let out a deep, inaudible breath, his mind racing with both the pros and cons of doing this. They were both grown adults – there was nothing stopping them from indulging in the newly found connection and yet, John was nervous. Nervous to find out what it’d do to the friendship they’d built. Nervous to find out what they’d miss out on if they didn’t explore further. He didn’t want this to seem like he’d had any ulterior motives agreeing to going home with Quinn – that hadn’t been the case. He’d felt drawn to him and wasn’t ready to stop spending time with him, that wasn’t a crime, was it? It was new and overwhelming – not something John had ever done or done a lot at least. He’d never been one to enjoy random hookups. Instead, he always sought out some kind of connection – one he definitely had with Quinn. A soft laugh escaped him when Quinn caught on to the way he’d been staying close, his eyes lingering. “Hey,” he breathed, shaking his head. “That’s okay,” he added, the breath knocking out of his lungs now that Quinn was in his space again – a tall, broad yet gentle presence and John wanted to reach out. He wanted to welcome him into that newly claimed space.

His brows raised with intrigue when suddenly Quinn’s eyes trailed down again and a knowing smile tugged on John’s lips. It was obvious that they both wanted this and John had a feeling that Quinn was holding back for the same reasons he was. A surprised gasp escaped when Quinn did in fact retain some of his boldness, kissing him again and this time, it wasn’t as chaste as their first or even their second one had been. Yet, John welcomed it and kissed him back almost immediately. His lips brushing against Quinn’s in a way that felt almost like he was testing it out, seeing how much deeper he could let this grow and for a moment, it was John’s turn to get bolder now. He parted his lips against Quinn’s lightly, sucking against his lower one as his eyes fluttered fully shut and there it was again, the gentle touch of Quinn’s hand against the side of his neck and his fingers sliding into his hair. A part of John screamed at him to stop, to not let this get further and yet, another part, the one that felt like taking a risk screamed to ignore it and to indulge for once after having denied him for so long. When they parted, John felt breathless, his own eyes heavy-lidded and dazed, his breath coming out hot against Quinn’s lips as he chuckled, his own hand coming up to cup Quinn’s jaw tenderly, his thumb brushing against his stubbly cheek before he leaned in for another quick kiss, hoping that’d answer his question. “I’m good with that if you are,” he whispered, searching for Quinn’s glance once again. “I mean…you said coffee will take a while, right?”

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That was all it took. John’s matched boldness, sucking his bottom lip in, it was a confirmation that this was more than fine, more than accepted. But, when John followed Quinn’s offer with a kiss of his own in the space between, Quinn was ready to get a little more lost in it, happy to forget the pot of coffee he’d started. He didn’t say anything else, just dove back in, capturing John’s lips with his once more. The testing waters had been passed on this, his own lips parting against John’s, his tongue running against John’s lip, asking to be granted access. Finally deepening the kiss as soon as he could. His free hand came to rest on John’s hip, and pulled him gently, until they were pressed flush against each other. A contented hum was the first sound that escaped him other than breaths in what felt like hours, but had only been moments.

The only conscious thought that streamed through Quinn’s mind was a mental navigation of the small house. He started walking them back out from the kitchen, breaking the kiss once to find the couch, sitting down once in reach. There wasn’t a question posed this time, simply tugging the dark haired man back to him, only to wrap up into each other once more. His hands found their place once more, one trailing from his hip to move up his back. He trailed his lips from John’s moving along his jaw, and down to his neck, replacing the hand that had been resting there, as he focused his attention on the warm patch of skin. His efforts turning from kisses to sucking at his neck, never long enough in one place or bearing teeth to leave marks, just new brief boldness before he moved back, capturing John’s lips once more with his, this time full of hunger and urgency.

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John was surprised at how easily he’d allowed himself to dive into this head first. How he was beyond holding back so quickly. Maybe it was the way Quinn made it seem so easy and so very welcome – maybe it was the residue of the tension that had built up over time. But now, with both of them close and eager to continue whatever this was and whatever it’d end up being, John couldn’t seem to care about the consequences. Not when Quinn seemed to take over in his mind, the softness of his lips and the gentle brushes clouding it and dissolving the nagging doubts, his insecurities and the only thing that mattered was getting more of Quinn’s touches. Of his kisses. Of his attention. A low hum vibrated in his chest when Quinn deepened the kiss even further now that John had given him the okay – the animation enough for him to get more daring and John was happy to go along with it, his own lips parting to meet Quinn’s tongue with his own as their kiss turned into something a lot less innocent. It was like they were running on autopilot now – the kisses and touches new and exciting, yet also weirdly familiar to John. Quinn felt safe that way and it was then when he gave in fully, a soft gasp escaping against Quinn’s lips when he pulled him closer, close enough to let their bodies align with ease. The low hum made John smile into the kiss and it made him feel confident enough in what he was doing to Quinn to let his own arms wrap around his middle, hands splaying against his back to keep him flush against him.