Not Naked, But Still Afraid @john-does-dick - Tumblr Blog

I just want to be slutty for like ten minutes is that too much to ask?

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penny-anna

also consider: LOTR but hobbits have Tapeta Lucidum

Boromir gets the fright of his life their first night on the road

penny-anna

Boromir: *glances over his shoulder* ??!!!!???!!

Hobbits:

Hobbits: what

tehri

i will never get over that you used an image of raccoons for this purpose because it is incredibly accurate

penny-anna

LOTR au but instead of hobbits literally raccoons

Gandalf: well this raccoon found the ring and has been carrying it around. unfortunately we can’t take it off him or he gets very bite-y. so I figure, the raccoon is the ringbearer now

Elrond: what are those other three raccoons doing here

Gandalf: he brought his buddies. I call this one ‘Merry’

tehri

TRASH PANDA HOBBITS

@auraboo THE LEGACY OF FATTY MCFAT LIVES ON

penny-anna

Aragorn: *watching Frodo & Sam scamper off in the direction of Mordor* our hopes lie with those raccoons now

Legolas: do they… know where they are going

Aragorn: I sure hope so

penny-anna

Faramir: father why is this raccoon in the livery of the citadel

Denethor: haha doesn’t he look precious

uhtcearemorning

Elfhelm: Dernhelm, is that a raccoon in your bag?

Dernhelm: *sweating nervously* Uh no, sir.

Eowyn, later: And I said no, you know, like a liar.

penny-anna

Denethor: WHY did you let a raccoon go off with the Ring??

Faramir: ….it just seemed like the right thing to do

Gandalf: he scratched you up real good huh

Faramir: ……………gouged my FUCKING arm and bit me on my face

penny-anna

Witch King: no living man can kill me - AUGH FUCK, RACCOON, RACCOON ON MY LEG ARGHHHH

Eowyn: *stab*

ms-demeanor

Wraiths break into the room at the prancing pony: *UnHoLy ScReEcHiNg*

Trash Panda Hobbits:

Wraiths: Oh, what the fuck, whAT THE FUCK IS THAT?!

ms-demeanor

Treebeard: Baroom, humm, where are my small, impatient friends?

Merry and Pippin:

ms-demeanor

Don’t go where I can’t follow, Mr. Frodo.

ms-demeanor

~~~~~~The Hobbit interlude~~~~~~

Thorin: You’re the burgular.Go on and…burgle something! Bilbo:

ms-demeanor

Saruman: Well since some fucking TREES took over Isengard I guess I’ll take over The Shire. Farmer Maggot and ever other Halfling down to the Sacksville-Bagginses:

fuckoffallies

On average, you have a 1 in 18,989 chance of being murdered

A trans person has a 1 in 12 chance of being murdered

The average life span of a cis person is about 75-90

The average life expectancy of a trans person is 23-30 years old

75% of people killed in anti LGBT hate crimes are poc

Think about this the next time you go crying over “cisphobia” and “reverse racism”

rebellloudwiththecrowd

Something you won’t be shown at Super Bowl

thestray

love the solidarity of seeing this reblogged by blacklivesmatter

ifyisnotfunny-deactivated201904

Just change the damn name!

cdmetisart

Reminder.

moepoke

This is some college AU gold

tuulikki

AND THEY WERE ROOMMATES

korrigu-deactivated20180205

oh my god they were roommates

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pixar

A trip down sensory lane.

sharkchunks

Filmmakers take note- This five second scene not only fully describes a characters backstory, but the entire reason he acts the way he acts through the film, taking him from a villain to a sympathetic character and justifying a total reversal of his actions in the present. In five seconds, this movie does for the development of a character more than most movies do in two hours. This is why you should be studying Disney and Pixar along with Martin Scorsese and Stanley Kubrick, and ignoring professors and elitist students who deride them as “kids stuff.”

typette-deactivated20150825

wasn’t there a theory that Anton’s childhood cottage is the cottage Remy learned his craft from eavesdropping inside before travelling to Paris, and the recipe he’s tasting really is his mother’s ratatouille?

veritashopian

WHAT

strangeducks

YES

workinggirl1988

@mulaney: Another Valentines Day, another argument with a florist about what they will or won’t print on a card.

Friendly reminder that you don’t have to enjoy drag to be gay. It does not make you “internally homophobic” to not like a certain kind of performance.

As long as you don’t actively seek to persecute people who do it, it’s okay not to like it. Fuck right the hell off with that toxic ass shit

thecoldheartofspace

so there’s this guy in three of my dance classes

and first off, I’m 5'7, 5'11 in dance shoes, 170 pounds, broad shoulders and big hips and not small in any dimension. For a ballroom dancer, this means a lot of time spent learning the men’s parts. Especially in lifts.

I’ve had years now of guys kinda just going “lol heck naw” when told to lift me. I don’t admit this part much, but it makes me want to sink into the ground and die when every other girl can be lifted, but I’m just too big.

So this guy, smaller than me and really cute, shows up at auditions and I see this girl across the room getting tossed about like the beautiful pixie she is, and apparently I looked a little wistful because this boy asked me if I liked lifts.

“Oh. I… Uh… I’ve never really done the girls part. I’m a little big, haha…” (laugh it off, as usual.)

He looked me dead in the eye and then picked me up like a movie princess, bounced me in the air a few times, and set me down effortlessly while telling me whoever refused to lift me before was just being a lazy wimp.

I seriously doubt this boy will ever really get how much that meant to me. But, holy cow. Some faith in humanity just got restored.

neurodivergent-crow

Magical Boy of Body Positivity

foxyshadow

This is beautiful

en-cima

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pacificrim-archive

black mirror: ough ough ough technology bad

twilight zone: what if Bigfoot was harassing william shitner from the outside of a plane

attiinova-deactivated20180727

have y’all seen pics of cosplayers being arrested because

it is simultaneously

the best and worst thing

I have ever

fuckIN G seEN

likE WHAT DID THEY DO

TO GET ARRESTED???

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD PLEASE TELL ME

pleasE I NEED CONTEXT

ruinedchildhood

What just happened

You know, if my uncle and his family could try even half as hard as the rest of my family to understand my gender instead of just not letting us talk to them about it and hoping it will go away, life would be much easier.

marisatomay

what a beautiful day to be my blondest gayest self on main ✨

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prokopetz

Bad: aliens that insist upon referring to human women as “feeeeemales”.

Good: aliens that insist upon dividing humans into binary categories, but the binary in question is based on something we’d regard as trivial and bizarre.

glitchlight

pro cilantro and anti cilantro

theamazingsallyhogan

Just to screw with us they refer to have designated half the population as “edible” and the other half is “inedible.”

No intention of eating anyone, they just like how uncomfortable it makes everyone.

cerynn

Even better: the aliens all agree on who is edible and who is inedible, but the humans have no idea what the criteria is

ethantheheffalump-deactivated20

Even better: there is no criteria, the Aliens just keep a running list of whenever one member designated a human as edible or not. People are baffled because the selection appears random yet all the aliens are up to date, so there must be SOMETHJNG

jungwildeandfree

I love this because it implies the aliens possess either (1) a universal hive mind or (2) an intergalactic group chat dedicated to fucking with humanity

alphadog-deactivated20180810

when i was in middle school, i got bullied for being a black fall out boy fan.

literally almost every day of my life these idiots would trash my interests and my personality because of my race.

all because “emo music is white culture”.

if you’re a person of color who’s bullied for their “white” interests, i raise my glass to you and wish you have an amazing day. it will get better, you rule.

alphadog-deactivated20180810

if you’re white, you can and are encouraged to reblog this. thank you for being kind and wonderful to kids of color.

lierdumoa

Also friendly reminder that Pete Wentz, the Fall Out Boy frontman, is half black. Referring to music/art created by POC as “white culture” is racist gatekeeping edgelord nonsense.

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