It has come to my attention that some of you have never seen what I firmly believe to be the greatest music video of all time: Bonnie Tylerās Total Eclipse of the Heart. It is the perfect marriage of a galactically bombastic power ballad and a writhing mass of 1980s video clichĆ©s, thrown into the path of a wind machine and blasted down a moodily lit corridor into the realm of legend.
In case youāre wondering what the heck they were thinking of when they made it, I remember Bonnie once explaining on TV that itās about the dreams of a headmasterās daughter, hence all the boys in (and out of) uniform. In retrospect, the whole shebang is quite fascinatingly female gaze-y, and Iām pretty sure it was a major formative influence on my pubescent imagination.
And yes, there is also a very amusing literal version, but for my money, the original is definitely the most hilariousā¦
A sad and deeply fond farewell to Bonnie Tyler (1951ā2026). May somersaulting ninja schoolboys sing you to your rest.


















