savior complex

dream concept: what if clarke and joe talked on day 14 aka the starter aj wants to murder me for not writing

closed starter: @joecartwright​​​ when: The Resue™ where: das Fischerboot

Stepping from the lifeboat and onto the actual big ass fishing boat was a feeling Dash wasn’t going to forget anytime soon. His breath had gone labored as he was half-pulled and half-climbed his way onto the deck. It was wet and cold and there were dozens of dudes shouting in German, their voices overlapping, and literally none of which Dash understood even a little bit. But he knew if he were any one of these guys, he’d be pretty amped too. Talk about a forever-brag, rescuing a bunch of pathetic looking teens off an island out in the middle of nowhere. That was primetime CNN coverage shit.

As soon as he cleared way for more of the Adams to crawl on, he scooted off to the side but stayed on the ground, leaning heavily against the taffrail to catch his breath. After a moment, he laughed—breathless, disbelieving, ecstatic. He nudged his foot against the leg of the next boy to come on board. “Das Boot, motherfucker!” he grinned widely. “I’m so gonna get that tatted.” Dash brandished his hand across his chest. He could feel his heartbeat against his palm. “Nipple to nipple in like, a huge Call of Duty font. ‘D-A-S B-O-O-T.’ You wanna go matchy-matchy?”

the scramble to the fishing boat was hectic. joe spent the climb glancing back at the boys behind them and treating the fisherman’s shouting as ambient noise. none of them were talking about their shopping list so he had no hope of trying to understand them. as he climbed the ladder he prayed that one of the fishermen would mention their shopping list or at least some kind of food. when he got onto the boat his instinctive response was to get up and check to see how the others were doing. but he thought about it and decided to treat himself to a little rest.. he leaned against the taffrail next to dash. "nah sorry, i'm not an embarrassing tattoo kind of guy. i'm more of an admire other people's embarrassing tattoos kind of guy." he explained. after all the near death experiences on the island joe decided he could learn to be an embarrassing tattoo kind of guy. he learned that life was too unpredictable to stop yourself from doing things that would make you happy because of regrets you think you'll have. “i could make an exception if we all got different personalised das boot tattoos. callum’s could be in a runny font like maple syrup, lukas’s could be in comic sans and sawyer could put a cowboy hat on the t. i would model my das after the washing powder logo, you know blue with sparkles behind it. the boot would have be a football boot.”

x

she didn’t mean to give the other the wrong impression regarding their shelter. really and truly, it could barely be called that. she chuckles awkwardly. “yeah, yeah no it’s…it’s really just like, like a place we put our stuff, you know? like, most of the time we’re at the beach, right? because obviously we just sort of ended up there and figured we might as well lay roots there apparently. — kidding, kidding…best place to wait for help. i think” she didn’t really know why they stuck to that place. but she hoped erin, or grace or divya had like a remotely good reason. “anyways, sand fleas were getting on my nerves so i made this little like bed, just above the ground. it took ages but, i mean it worked. you can’t see now but my skin is incredibly soft…smooth…” it was a stretch at best so she rushes over it quickly. “anyways, we hid in the cave during the storms an’ stuff so you could say that’s the actual shelter. i’m not…i’m not actually sure i should be telling you this. i feel like tom holland when he wouldn’t shut up with the spider man spoilers…” 

she takes in a deep breath, realising she was going off again about another topic which was not only boring, but probably better left untold. then, she proceeds to listen to the other talk about warren and her brows raise almost instantly. “o-okay, warren was skinny muscular and now he’s dead. got it. pity.” she didn’t mean to be nosy, but they were already on the topic. “sorry for your loss. were you close? ‘cause…it sounds like you were close…” maybe too close. “how did he uh, ya know…?” she uses her fingers to demonstrate a cut throat instead of using the word, and makes a note of warren. it sure was fucked up to have this many coincidences lined up. more information she could get, less pissed the eves ill be once she’s back at the camp. god, they must’ve been worried sick by now. 

lex laughs at his reaction following her blowjob flavoured introduction and proceeds to nod at his words. “i agree. i mean, the girls are amazing…t-trust me, they’re…they’re really great. they’re just very protective, ya know? very, very cautious. might need some getting used to to all this…variety.” she wished they could just fast forward to the simpler time, where all this…freshness was long gone and everyone was just fine co-existing. if that was even possible. “but they’ll come around. they always do. e-even jenny.” though this time around, it seemed like the road to ‘fine’ would be a whole lot longer and filled with potholes. it felt like, every day on the island, was a new level of a video game. where shit just popped out of nowhere and got insanely harder. there was no way of knowing if jenny would ever come around, so she sighed and changed the topic. “how um, how are your friends doing by the way? the one erin an’ the girls ran to help? they alright?”

joe nodded along as lex explained the eves's camp on the beach."same here." he chimed in. the two groups had more similiarities than they had differences. joe wished they could come together to share experiences and stories. it would be nice if the eves shared their food as well but in the short term joe was more interested in their friendship. he eyes went wide. "you made a bed?" he parroted, his voice full of awe. "how'd you make it?" he asked. he wasn't sure how much longer he could deal with sleeping on the ground with jayden's jacket as a pillow. jayden's ugly jacket barely spelt like weed anymore and it didn't smell like him. joe chuckled when lex finished her rambling. he could see why the secretive eves didn't want lex to meet the adams." calm down spiderman you didn't tell us anything i didn't already assume. we did the same thing. the only difference is that we ran down a hill. none of you girls are covered in mud so i'm guessing yous didn't have to run down a hill?" he asked, mostly as a joke.

joe's brows furrowed in confusion. "no i knew him for two days." was it something he said? what gave lex the impression that they were close? all joe did was describe him for lex's benefit, it didn't mean that he fancied him. hold on, did he say something that made it seem like he fancied warren? he swallowed nerviously. it's not like he called warren peng or mentioned his pecs like lex did with jill. "and like i said he was a bit of a twat." fuck, he felt bad speaking ill of the dead. where was a confessional box when you needed it? "he liked to get a rise out of people." he elobarated while also elaborating on nothing at the same time. "but i was still gutted when he died. seeing his body was dead rough." he backtracked. he hoped that lex didn't think he was a monster for insulting a dead lad."he fell off a cliff when we were all asleep." he explained, fidgeting with the hem of his t-shirt. he didn't want a repeat of sawyer getting accused of murder. "how did jill...you know?" he asked. he thought that maybe talking about their dead comrades could be a fucked up bonding experience.

he smiled slightly. he trusted lex's judgement that the eves were amazing. the eves he'd met properly had been amazing so far. “yeah i get it...kind of,” he didn’t get it on a personal level but as an outsider he was vaguely aware that girls dealt with a lot of shit and were more at risks. he knew that his mam texted his younger sisters more than she did him and they were told to get back earlier than his was at their ages. “i don’t blame them for being cautious.” he was a bit upset but he didn’t blame them and he definitely wasn’t mad at them. he just hoped that at some point they would feel comfortable existing around the adams, mostly for their own peace of mind. “jenny’s chill. they asked a lot of questions but they’re chill. scared i fucked up by answering one of their questions.” he remarked with a nervious chuckle. “callum’s...” joe couldn’t say fine because that would be an exaggeration. “he’s stable. we haven’t had to cut his leg off.” at least they hadn’t yet. “erin’s the tall one with blue eyes, right? for the longest time i thought she was called ellie or emma.” another nervous laugh because he felt like an idiot.”what’s the name of the girl in the sports team hoodie? she did good n’all” 

x

it took her a long second to realise that the lad had thought leaving people behind to watch the camp was due to fear of them stealing their shit. she can’t help but laugh at just how silly that thought had been, but then proceeds to consider that maybe that was exactly what the little eves had meant. “no, no man it’s not…i didn’t stay to watch the camp because of youse lot. just…ya know, to keep the fire going. keep an eye out for the wind so it doesn’t blow away what we’ve got left of our pathetic little shelter, a-and also to like, make sure the tide doesn’t roll in and just…take everything. we lost a whole body like that, you know? there was this girl named jill. she was proper peng like, big titties, blue eyes all that…bit of a bitch though…” a breath “anyways, one night, the tide rolls in and the next day she’s gone. the amount of conspiracy theories after that? bro….” she leaves it at that, probably too much information for such a simple point. smile spreads across as the other goes on his own little info dump and she feels more fond of joe than she did most eves upon their first encounter. it really wasn’t that hard to just be nice, was it? “okay, very cute of yall to name it miss piggy after it fucked up your shit, i’d have gone for something more..uh, food related. miss dinner maybe? – how’s that been going for you guys? hunting, i mean? did miss piggy end up on the grill yet?” she didn’t know which answer she’d prefer. yes would mean the boys would make an incredible asset to food sourcing. but no would mean there’s definitely still a delicious miss piggy runnin’ around just waiting to become bacon. 

“nice to meet ya’ joe. and i do apologise for not being on the welcoming committee. afraid my sisters were under the impression i would be handing out free blowjobs the second i laid my eyes on you lot. were they wrong? not sure. you want a blowjob, joe?” her face is serious but then she bursts laughing. “i’m just kidding. i already got laid today it’s fine.” props to jude for taking one for the team. “all jokes aside, i’m glad there’s more people around. i mean, it’s not like you men are a bunch of fugitives from a well guarded siberian prison. your story is eerily similar to ours. identical almost. you are basically us but like…with testosterone.” she’ll look in the direction of the cave and shrug. “i’m in no rush.” she says and starts walking. “anyways, joe, what you doing out here all by yourself?”

it made sense that the eves wanted somebody to stay at camp to tend to the fire but that didn't line up with what lex said. she didn't say she had to tend to the fire she said she was looking after their stuff. joe didn't point out the inconsistencies in her story. instead he kept quiet and kept his misgivings to himself as per usual. "yeah, alright." he responded with a nod. there was no way he could keep up with lex so he decided to let her go off on her ramble. he got the impression that he wouldn't be able to stop her even if he wanted to and he thought that was admirable. "yous have a shelter as well? cool. it's awesome you managed to build one without an axe." he complimented, sincerely. the adams would have been fucked without the axe. he would have asked to see the eves's shelter if he didn't think that would make most of the girls uncomfortable. he had a soft spot for shelters because he spent his childhood in the nearby woods building shelters with his mates. "the other girls told us about jill. we lost someone too. he was also a bit of a bitch but he didn't have blue eyes and big titties." he chuckled at his own joke because if he didn't make bad jokes talking about warren would upset him. "his name was warren. he had brown eyes. he was short but not short short, he was guys that lie about their height on tinder short. he was well-built but in that swimmer way where you think a lad is skinny but surprise they're really muscular." he didn't know why he thought it was a good idea to bond with lex over their hot fallen comrades. there was something about her that made her easy to talk to, despite him having no hope of keeping up with her. "his body got washed away in that big storm on day five." he added as an afterthought like that wasn't more important than the other things he told her about warren. "we tried to hunt miss piggy but she's feral and vicious." he responded looking away in embarrassment. "we managed to hunt a snake though."

joe stood there blinking awkwardly at lex's joke about giving out blowjobs. he didn't know what would be an appropriate response. he could have made a joke about blowjobs being good for morale but he didn't want to come across like a perv. anyway, the adams didn't need lex for that. lukas and dash were already giving each other handjobs to boost moral. sebastian and callum spent so much time alone in the jungle they were probably doing that as well. joe bit his lip, trying to put a stop to that train of thought. he chuckled nervously and sighed in relief when lex said she was only joking. "alright, cool. nice to meet you too." he wondered whether or not she was joking about already getting laid but he thought it would be rude to ask and he really didn't want to know. "i'm glad we've found each other as well. i love the lads but it's nice to see some new faces. spices things up and adds some variety." joe ignored the nagging voice at the back of his head that told him that he would rarely see the eves after that night. "don't be mean about siberian fugitives. some siberian fugitives are probably lovely." he smiled at lex. he was jokingly but the fugitives on the island were lovely. "yeah we've talked about the similarities and they're spooking some people out, especially jennny from your group." he was concerned about how on edge they seemed. "just having a moonlit stroll. it's dead peaceful when nobody's around." he bullshitted, too embarrassed to tell lex he needed a piss.

x

for a moment, alexa stood speechless. she couldn’t fully absorb the others features through the night, but what she did see was – a guy. someone she’d not met before. and unlike her usual self, alexa is, for once, lost for words. she takes his hand and helps herself up, dusting her bum and her knees. smile enters her features and she’ll brush her hair back. “thanks, handsome…” a polite introduction, of course. and she’ll proceed to answer the question in as few words as possible. “i was left behind at the camp. well, i technically volunteered to stay and watch our shit out of the goodness of my sweet little heart. then i found out they were casting votes without me so i decided to venture into the wilderness and see what’s up…– not gonna cap to you, thought i got lost there for a minute.” then again she’d always been more lucky than smart. “i’m alexa, by the way. lex is fine. a-and who might you be?” she’ll shift on her feet, almost losing balance again. “this cave, is it close?”

joe snorted at the blonde's introduction. it was forward but he could handle forward. forward was better than contempt or fear. anyway, maybe her boldness could be good for him. he always gravitated to strong people with strong personalities back home, they made up for everything that he lacked. "you guys picked out someone to watch your stuff?" the hurt in his voice was noticeable, he was still bad at hiding his emotions even after years of practice. he frowned at the thought of alexa being left behind and the implications that came with the eves choosing someone to keep an eye on their things. “there’s more of a chance of miss piggy stealing your things than us.” he claimed as a lighthearted way to plead the adams’s case. his smile fell when he remembered she didn’t have the context to understand that reference. “wait i don’t mean miss piggy the muppet. there was a wild bore that fucked up our shit and we all started calling it miss piggy. there wasn’t a vote on it or anything one of us called it miss piggy then we all started doing it. dash was probably the first person to come up with the nickname.” a smile crept on his face when he mentioned dash’s name. the pink haired boy was hilarious when he wasn’t being irritating. fuck, sometimes he was hilarious when he was being irritating.”shame you weren’t a part of the greeting committee.” he commented. from the fraction of a conversation he had with the girl she seemed cool. full on but cool.”i’m joe.” he responded quickly. there was no need to drag it out. he was a simple man with a simple name.”yeah i think it’s a ten to fifteen minute walk from here. depends how fast you’re willing to walk.” he bounced on the balls of his feet. he wanted to stay and chat with lex but the sooner he lead her to the cave the sooner he could go have a piss.

STARTER open. @wildshub​ Day 13 The Woods (she’s looking for the cave, so you can decide how close/far from it she is depending on your characters location).

She didn’t think it would get so dark so quickly. When she left the beach all sneaky and in total violation of the buddy system, she was certain she would have found the damn cave by now. It was mostly the trees which made it impossible to see, the sun when setting did not reach the ground as well as it did standing directly above the jungle. Her heart was beginning to race, and although she was confident before, she was losing more of that confidence with each step ahead. “Of course you’d get lost today Lex, of fucking course…you stupid fucking bitch…” she mutters the string of insults her own way and continues to do so as she walks on. She was lucky to have been a moron though, not at all thinking of all the creatures waking in the night looking for their next meal for which her thick ass would have made a perfect serving. – As the branches break under the weight of something approaching, she looks around trying to figure out where it’s coming from. If this was a horror film, she would have screamed out a dumbass ‘hello?’ but alas she had seen enough of those to know it’s never a good idea. “I am not fucking dying today….” she continues ahead, and then she starts to run and then she runs full force into something – someone. “What in the name of Jimmy Choo….” she’ll lay on the floor, her head pulsating. “Sorry, sorry…my bad….”

joe was buzzing from the uno game and pleasant conversations with the girls- wait no people- in the cave. playing card games and making small talk about his interests as a way to get to know people reminded him of scouts and that point during housies were everybody there was your friend. he didn't want to think about how in the morning they were probably going part ways and pretend the other group didn't exist for the sake of the girls that were reluctant to collaborate with the adams. if he was lucky they would change their minds but he doubted they would and was going to respect whatever decision they made. he threw a round of uno as an excuse to slip out of the cave. he didn't care about the results and was dying for a piss. he walked through the jungle cautiously but with a spring in his step. it didn't matter how excited he was, finding a perfect place to piss was serious business. he had to find a secluded spot far away from the cave and with zero poisonous plants nearby. "fuck!" he exclaimed when he felt himself collide with someone. "don't worry about it. do you want a hand up?" he leaned forward and held out his hand. the impact of the collision had effected him a lot less than the girl, he only took three steps backwards instead of going fully arse over tit like she did. he took a good look at her to try to figure out if he had seen her before. she had brunette roots peaking through blonde hair but she seemed nothing like hattie or the nervous australian. "were you at the clearing or cave? i don't think i've seen you before."

“right! i dont know how to make beer though….there’s hops, whatever those are….my mom likes ones that taste like fruit which is….gnarly.” even mentioning the word mom had blue feeling an emptiness in the pit of his stomach, where the assurance of his mom’s wellbeing should’ve been. “i dont even know how to draw a horse….” the more holes he poked, the less fun the craft beer idea was, unless… “k, you gotta come to canada to help me with it…” he offered a friendly smile, he hoped all the boys would come visit after they got home.

blue pondered, readjusting his image based on what new information joe gave, occasionally offering an ‘oh i see’, something he thought made him sound smarter. “yeah! i mean, their farts stink but who i am to judge for that? so, english joe, joe-ing it up in the country or city life? i know like, nothing about engand except my mom likes bridget jones’ diary so….i assume it’s not like that for you,” it did make him giggle a little to imagine joe in some of the scenes about arguing with pantyhose or whatever. he realized that he brought her up again, and spoke earnestly, “damn, i miss my mom.”

"yeah, you would have to hire other people to make the beer." he stated. that's what bosses did, right? they used their money to hire more skilled people to do the job for them. joe stroked his chin. he had no idea how businesses worked but he was going to try to plan this idea. "what the fuck you can get different beer flavours?" his jaw dropped. all the beers he drank had the same bitter taste. he thought different flavours was more of a cider thing. fruit flavoured vodka was the real good shit though. "horses are easy to draw. ok, they're hard to draw well but the basic shape is easy. long face, pointy ears, steep neck, long back, curved arsed, two legs, bulky barrel, two more legs, join it up then add a tail." he traced the shape of a horse in the air with his index finger. "one of those people that draws pictures for a living would do a better job then me." he stated with a chuckle. "you want me to move to canada and open a brewery with you after all this is over? sounds brilliant." it was never going to happen but it was a nice thought. sometimes joe wondered if he wanted to go home. his family were his world but sometimes he felt trapped.

"exactly! they make up for having rank smelling farts by being cute." he had no idea what cow farts smelt like. with the expectation of the time he was woken up by a cow barging into his tent most of his encounters with cows were at a distance. he either passed them while driving or saw them on the other side of fields. but he knew the stereotype and was willing to put up with disgusting smelling farts if it meant he had giant chill babies to take care of. he blinked at blue's question. he thought it was obvious where he was joe-ing it up. but he wouldn't dream of bringing that up or making a snarky comment. he liked talking to blue and didn't want to make him feel stupid. he was an anchor of calmness in a sea of strong personalities. "the country. or i geuss it's more of a small town." he shrugged. he didn't understand how places were categorised. he vaguely remembered the term semi-rural from geography and thought that might have been appropriate. "what about you big blue house of bear in the big blue house fame? are you from the country or the city? " he asked. he didn't know much about canadian besides from hockey, moose and ryan reynolds was from there. he chuckled at the bridget jones's diary comment. "i'm definitely not a sad single thirty summat year old woman from london." he had the sad and single part down but the rest, nope."aye,me too." he sucked in a breath. his mam was probably worried sick. joe started to worry about his younger sisters and if they were still being looked after. they both thought they were so mature but they still just kids. fuck he was basically still a kid himself. "i mean i miss my own mam not yours." he clarified as a precaution and way to distract himself from worrying about his younger sisters."i haven't even met your mam. what's she like?"

-

kian shrunk back like a dog scolded at joe’s words, scratching at his upper arm to give his hand something to do besides hover uselessly at his side. yeah, okay, maybe he was a shit apology-giver. he was a shit lots of things, most of which had everything to do with making and keeping friends. it was why he was so lonely back home, despite knowing a bunch of people. it was why he could never keep anyone in his life, despite being such a slag. but he really, really wanted to be a better person. it just…came with practice, he supposed. and accepting when he’d majorly fucked up – like right now. “ sorry, ” he said again, more quietly this time. “ i know that stuff…makes you uncomfortable. talking about blowies and men shagging men. at first i thought it was kind of funny so i pushed it, but i proper crossed the line tonight. so i’m sorry for that. ”

joe scratched the back of his neck. he preferred half-heartedly apologies to sincere ones. the vulnerability of genuine apologies was uncomfortable and terrifying."thanks. i appreciate it." he replied awkwardly with a nod of acknowledge. kian didn't have to apologise to him. joe would have eventually wandered back to camp and pretended like nothing happened. he was used to people hurting his feelings without apologising to him. "this morning was fine. it was actually a bit fun." he admitted. it was the closest to casual normal banter joe had gotten in a week. it was a distraction from the constant fight if survival. "and you weren't wrong about what you said. so i can't fault you for your honesty." he shrugged with a small smile. the only person he could fault was himself for not being more careful."me fancying callum doesn't invalidate anything i said. that wasn't why i defended him." he argued."i think dash is..."he stopped, trying to find the right word."pretty when he's not making his mouth go and i still think he crossed a line." he sighed. after he defended himself he immediately regretted bringing the argument back up again."anyway, it doesn't matter now."

blue snapped his fingers, eyes widening, “that’s what it sounds like! a breed of horse, i was thinking like a beer or something but that’s even better!” he had still been trying to figure joe out, and since he didn’t seem as angry or vicious as some of the other guys, blue had gravitated towards it, as he did others that he felt safe with, like liam or sawyer.

“did that actually happen?” it painted a hell of a picture, and even if blue wasn’t really in touch with farm stuff, he imagined a cow barging was twice as scary as the pig, given the size thing. “what’d you do? do you have a lot of cows? can you tell them all apart? do you have favorites?” 

joe's face lit up into a smile as he rolled onto his side, leaning on his right arm."maybe it could be both. after we get off this island you should open a brewery. create one of those fancy craft beers, call it canadian blue and put a blue horse on the lable." the elaborate fantasy joe was crafting was a joke but while the adams were stranded on the island elaborate fantasties were all they had to cling onto. he nodded in response to blue's question. joe didn't joke about awkward cow encounters. those were serious business."umm no i don't have any cows." he said quietly. he hoped that revolation wasn't going to dissapoint blue. he didn't want to disappoint any of the adams but blue was the one he would hate to disappoint the most. the canadian was sweet."i was at a campsite and cows just happened to be there." he explained. he thought that was self-explanatory by the mention of a tent but he wasn't going to judge blue for missing the subtext."but i think it could be cool to own cows. they're so chill and have adorable long noses." he went silent for a moment as he thought about his next sentence."i would probably suck at owning cows though because i would feel dead guiltly sending them to slaughterhouses. unless i just had dairy cows that lived until they died of old age."

when: day 11, after dinner where: somewhere near camp who: @joecartwright​

after scarfing down his share of the fish ( it was, quite predictably, bland – but kian was used to unseasoned foods, having been raised in england ), kian decided he’d go find joe before the guy became another tally on their missing persons bulletin. he couldn’t help but feel sorry for blowing up at him, even if he thought at least some of it was deserved. it just…when he saw callum picking on dash for no good reason, it pulled some kind of hair trigger deep within him that had him jumping on the defense. he was sixteen again, defending his twin sister against the school bully, and joe was the bystander who happened to get caught in his path. 

“ you still think i’m a cunt ? ” he asked softly, shoes crunching the leaves as he approached joe from behind. “ i’m sorry about earlier. for, like…calling you a bumder and whatnot. though i’m a bumder, so it’s a bit of a high honor to bestow, when you think about it. ” 

in the immediate aftermath of his dramatic exit joe parked himself down on the sand. he buried his feet and lower abdomen in it. he knew it didn't make any rational sense but the weight of the sand on top of him made him feel safe and protected. it was like why some people liked using weighted blankets. he stayed in the sand and slipped heaps of it through his fingers, feeling terrified about the way the adams might perceive him. his was consumed by the worst case scenario, that other people might see him the way he sees himself. eventually he got tired of sitting there. self-loathing and betrayal were exhausting emotions. he went for a walk along the edge of the jungle because even though he was sick of wallowing he still wasn't ready to face the others.

he snapped his head around at the sound on a twig snapping then dusted off some of the remaining grains of sand that clung to him. "yeah." he answered, simply. he didn't sound angry or bitter, he sounded tired."it's fine though." he assured kian. everybody had cunty moments, that was part of being human."i'm sorry for legging it. that was really uncool." he apologised, looking at his trainers. he should have laughed it off or said something like yes and? that doesn't invalidate my point about dash being a dick. but he wasn't confident enough to say the second option and it hit too close to home for him to laugh it off. he  made a pfft sound then bit his lip. kian’s apology one of the weakest apologies he’s ever heard and his parents had been giving him half-hearted apologies for years."what ? was i meant to take it as a compliment and not be pissed off you used a personal...thing against me?" he asked. he wanted to be madder than he was but he was tired of being angry.

-

class. sawyer’s gaze crinkled at the corners with amusement. between joe and kian, the brits had the funniest way with words about them; second only to the canucks, who said things like pogey and homo milk – which, much to his disappointment, was not milk that came from gay cows. but sawyer digressed. he ambled over to the fireside and planted his leg on the log next to joe, hiking up the leg of his boxer shorts to reveal the tiny, upside-down smiley face etched into his upper thigh. his own expression lit up to match the one staring joe right in the eye. “ this right here’s the first tat i ever did – had nothin’ but a sewin’ needle and some india. wasn’t ‘til the second eye that i realized it was upsides down. ” in his defense, though, he was fourteen. an impulsive, trigger-happy fourteen-year-old. “ but hey, i don’t regret it one bit. just makes me smile whenever i see it, which is what it was meant to do in the first place, so. mission accomplished. ”

joe gulped. he needed to calm down. he couldn't go hyperventilating over sawyer's thigh. it was just a thigh. an amazingly sculpted and muscular thigh but that wasn't the point. he was meant to be focusing on the ink. he was so distracted that it took him about ten seconds to notice that the mouth was where the eyes should have been."yeah that's really cool.dead resourceful." he mumbled, forgetting every word in the english language that wasn't thigh. "umm what's india? I mean I know it's a country but is that a type of ink as well?" he asked. he had no idea of stick and poke tattoos worked , they were outside his insular world. he associated stick and pokes with the type of kids he stayed well away from because they belonged in a different universe to him, the type of kids that had brightly dyed hair, septum piercings and used monster energy cans as ashtrays. come to think of it they were probably freer and happier than him. he thought it was really cool how sawyer embraced a fuck up instead of being embarrassed like most people would have been but he didn't know how to phrase that without it coming across as dumb or insulting so he kept quiet, humming in response as he put an elbow on his right knee and rested his head on his knuckles. now that he had the chance to have a one-on-one conversation with sawyer he decided to ask about what had been bugging him for days." is your knuckle tat morse code? I've been trying to figure out what it says and it's been driving me up the wall.”

when: day 11, morning(ish?) where: the camp @joecartwright​​

ever since sawyer was a kid, he loved taking cold morning showers at the start of his day. his big brother used to tell him that washin’ in the morning was like scrubbing a night’s worth of bad dreams away, and because sawyer was a dumb and nightmare-prone kid, he believed him. now, the nightmares didn’t come as often, but the sentiment remained: you could scrub just about anything troublesome away with a good morning rinse. 

he’d been drying himself off with his trusty sweatshirt at the camp when he noticed someone staring out of the corner of his eye. sawyer paused with his face half-buried in the fleece, blinked, and cast an uneven smile toward the voyeur in question.

“ hah. i know what you’re thinkin’, ” he drawled, “ can see it written all over your face: what in the fresh hell does this guy got inked all over his skin ? ” and the answer was: nothing good. but that was what sawyer liked about them – that his multitude of shaky stick-and-pokes were just as fuckin’ trashy and vulgar on the outside of him as he was on the inside. he swiped at his neck and pits with the damp sweatshirt, nodding joe’s way. “ you can say it if y’want to. i won’t bite. ”

joe mastered the art of self control from a young age. he knew that his action had consequences and affected other people. the switch from i can't grab this toy because it's in siobhan's pile of things and dad would be mad at me to if i look at a boy the wrong was i'm going to hell and everybody would hate me was an easy logical progression. but it was hard to have self-control when you were exhausted and starving on a desert island. the earlier talk of abs you could grate cheese with or use as a washboard were still niggling away at the back of his head. he bit his lip and slightly cocked his head to the side. yeah,kian was right. you could grate cheese with sawyer's abs. it was unbelievable how chiseled his abs were. were all hick scallies build like that ? what kind of hard labour did he have to do in juvie ? joe finally understood why the creation of adam was painted the way it was. men really could be that beautiful. he was snapped out of his thoughts by sawyer's drawl. he guiltily drew his eyes upwards to sawyer's face. this was it. he was going to get his arse beat and all of his nightmares were going to come true. he inhaled in relief when sawyer started talking about his tattoos instead. the kian that squatted in joe's brain supplied an unhelpful would you bite if i asked nicely but he wasn't saying that out loud, he was lucky sawyer didn't think he was a perv. he didn't want to give him more reasons to be disgusted."nah mate, i think your tattoos are class. which one did you get first ? i'm too much of a pussy to get tattoos. not because of the pain. it's more about the regret, you know."

WHERE: Camp WHEN: Day 11, early am @joecartwright​

blue had heard from others that he could be a chaotic sleeper, legs always going and a snore that his sister swore she could hear from outside the house. perhaps it was the exhaustion of the demon, or at this point, the stress of being stranded but those traits had returned. his snore woke him up and startled him a little, looking around he scratched his head, his eyes readjusting to the sun. who did i fall asleep next to?

“hey, english joe, you awake? sorry if i kicked you or snored or some shit.” he chuckled a little to try to lighten the mood, but in reality he felt so stiff at the fear that he’d snap at him, just like she did.

joe had been a wake for a little while, staring up at the clouds and trying to adjust to being a functioning sober person again. he missed going on morning jogs but there was no way he could sneak away from camp without waking anyone up and nowhere to run so over the day full days he'd been on the island he had gotten used to waking up and lying in one place for a while. he found comfort in listening to the other adams breath in their sleep or mutter more incoherent nonsence than usual. it made him feel part of something. he didn't mind being woken up by blue's snoring or the occasional times he was kicked during the night. he smiled when blue called him english joe. he didn't understand why blue did that because he was the only joe on the island but he still thought it was amusing. "good morning canadian blue." he replied before frowning."ok i'm never calling you that again. sounds too much like cheese or a breed of horse."he bit his lip. as soon as the sentence left his mouth he worried it wasn't as funny as he thought it was or that it would offend blue."don't worry about it. you're not the only one here that snores and i've been waken up by worse.i'd rather listen to you snore than have a cow barge into my tent."

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“ there’s no way to make a blowie not sound mingin’, dickhead, ” kian retorted, taking a pinch of sand between his fingertips and flicking it joe’s way. “ gob job, hoover. even blowjob’s skating by on some very thin ice, ‘cause why do we call it that in the first place ? it makes no sense. we should be calling it a suckjob, on account of you’re not actually supposed to blow air on someone’s bellend. ” honestly. the evolution of the english language never failed to both stupefy and exasperate him. “ i reckon that’s the first thing i’ll do once i get off this island, ” he said with a self-convinced nod. “ i’ll find the guy who invented the word blowjob and punch him in the dick like, ‘ how’s this for a blow, you tosser ? ’ and then i’ll spit on him. ”

"i bet there is."he announced."in all of human history i bet at least one person has wrote a dead moving and poetic poem or song about giving head." joe couldn't list any examples off the top of his head but he bet there were some."your problem is that you're gross." from the grin on joe's face it was obvious that he didn't see it as an issue. he half-heartedly kicked sand at kiki in retaliation."i don't know." he offered with a shrug. he had a theory about mouth shape but he didn't have the experience to back it up and he didn't want kian to confirm or deny it so he kept his theory to himself."yeah it should be a suckjob or a mouthjob. but i guess most things involve mouths." did he know what most of those things were? no or he would pretend he didn't but he knew mouths were probably involved. "if the bloke that invented the word blowjob is still alive you're going to bring him to his knees and spit on him? that's err ,you know,...kinky." his nerves stopped him from properly delivering that joke. he started bouncing his right leg.