Jody Wallace, Author

Bella, or Bad Bells

Name: Bella, Bad Bells, Bella the BullyLocation: Manitoba What makes Bella so mean? Bars can’t stop me. I am a supreme athlete and I can go over them! This is my mean kitty, Bella. When she’s not keeping everyone awake at night by pawing at our faces while we’re sleeping, and tearing through the house at warp speed, somehow sounding like a racehorse, she’s bullying her sister. Bella is so…

Name: Berlin Location: Unknown The sleeping Jesse day... What a pleasant memory! Thanks for reminding me. What makes Berlin so mean? This is my mean kitty Berlin. If you cross him, he doesn’t forget about it. My fiance’s cousins, Jesse & Cody, played tug of war with him once when he was a kitten. He’s 12 now and he still hisses and growls at them. He sat on Jesse’s face while he was sleeping and…

Name: Bellatrix Location: Florida No, no, no, that sammitch is MINE, I tell you! MINE! What makes Bellatrix so mean? I’d like to introduce you to my new Persian kitten, Bellatrix. We call her Bella for short. Bella’s life consists of bossing my older cat, Nigel, around. From the first day we got her, Bella realized that Nigel’s already skittish nature would allow her to dominate the house. Every…

Name: Bender Location: Unknown Oh, NICE! Foot for lunch! What makes Bender so mean? Bender is my cat’s name. I have had been owned by him less then a year. Got him from the pound when my dear cat AJ died. After a hearty lunch of foot, I like a cool drink to top off. Bender may look sweet to you, but believe me, he can be mean. In fact, he IS mean. The pictures speak for themselves, I…

Name: Tango Location: England Go Tango! Go Tango! Beat the dog up! Go Tango! What makes Tango so mean? I am sending this e-mail to see if you will put my evil cat Tango on your website. I’m sure you agree for the picture he is a very mean kitty. Tango is 5 years old and has done many evil deeds. Once he ripped off the skin off one of my toes, he has killed thousands of moles, chipmunks, birds,…

Name: Spoink Location: Unknown I growl at cameras, too. Can you tell I'm growling? What makes Spoink so mean? This meankitty’s name is Spoink, after the pokemon, because of his short curly tail. He hates everyone except for me. He will growl at all the kids, every stranger who attempts to pet him, and every animal who is not eatable. Though since I feed him, he gives me uber rubs and will ride on…

Name: Fluffy Location: Backyard One guess what I'm doing in this photo... Heh heh heh. What makes Fluffy so mean? Don’t let the sappy name fool you. Fluffy’s harmless with humans, but most other kitties–watch out! He steals my other cat’s food (in addition to eating his own) and will actually shove Max (the nice kitty) out of the way to get to it. He’s also a chaser. My late cat Bosco took to…

Name: Soeren Location: Scandinavia Dress me in a stupid hat and take my picture, will you? You shall pay, human. You shall pay. What makes Soeren so mean? Soeren is a Scandinavian Zombie cat who bites on everyone and everything. On this picture he has just finished off Santa Claus (wearing his cap as evidence). What can we do about him? Meankitty says: I think he would not be so mad if you didn’t…

Dear Meankitty, Is there a reason why my cat chooses to attack my arm or face while I am sleeping? I won’t be moving and all of a sudden she jumps on the bed and attacks my arm and face and I wind up with bad punctures on my arms, thankfully not on my face. Then she just runs under the bed. Other than this, she’s a good cat…but it seems to happen once every few days and I’m scared she will try…

Name: Fleur Location: Missouri I’m going to run around and around the stupid human’s legs with lightning speed until I trip him, just like on tv. Get the video camera! What makes Fleur so mean? Fleur is an Angora, apparently. She was found in a post-office parking lot, propositioning everyone in sight. When my wife brought her home, Fleur had a white stripe from the nape of the neck to the base…

Name: Murphey Location: Arizona If they're dumb enough not to notice me behind TRANSPARENT curtains, they deserve to get clawed up. What makes Murphey so mean? Murphey’s mother (Fluffy) was a stray that my family ended up taking in, and then our tabby Eddie knocked her up and she had five kittens. I got to keep Murphey. He was very sweet to me when he was a baby. He used to sleep in my hair every…

Name: Woozles Location: Unknown Hey…you gonna eat that or can I have it? What makes Woozles so mean? This is Woozles….alias ‘The Scourge of Shelley’, ‘Big Fat’ or just plain ‘Big Puss’ He was a stray who attached himself to us because we offered him a morsel of cheese. He is the scourge of the neighborhood – even grabbing us with his paw as we walk past him (now we know why he was dumped!) but as…

Name: Bandit (3) Location: Bay of Plenty, New Zealand I smell dead people. What makes Bandit so mean? Bandit is quite an exceptional cat. He comes to you when you whistle, is not afraid of water, and loves to perform tricks in front of people. I sometimes wonder if he even thinks he’s a cat at all! [Meankitty’s note: Man, this cat is so obviously not “mean” or otherwise deserving of Gallery…

Name: Mimi Location: Chesterfield, UK Grooming is for DOGS and will not be tolerated! What makes Mimi so mean? I would like to introduce Mimi, our beloved yet fearsome tortoiseshell cat. Mimi had a hard start in life. She was rescued by my partner when she was only a kitten. Her original owner was one of those types who think pets are a great idea but when they get them home and the…

Name: Bandit Location: Unknown Everything I ask for? Are you kidding? I ask to be left alone, and look what pictures they take! What makes Bandit so mean? Bandit is a very evil kitty. Even though My boyfriend and I give him everything he asks for and love on him all the time, Bandit still feels the need to chew up my make up brushes, knock my books and papers off my desk, and use the carpet as a…

Name: Una Noel Shabooboo Location: CO

Meeeeeeee and my shadow! Whom I like to beat.

What makes Una so mean?

We have a couple cats that certainly fit the Meankitty bill. However, one of them rises like curdle cream to the surface. Our beloved Una Noel Shabooboo showed up at our farm on Christmas eve several years ago. I took her in and found her a home. The home was in fact a rabid cesspool of…

Name: Amber Location: UK

Cats TOTALLY hate warm air blowing all over our bodies. Please, please don't crank that radiator *smirks*.

What makes Amber so mean?

This is one mean English Kitty! She likes to take a leak by sticking her bum out of the cat tray and peeing right onto the kitchen floor, but not every time. I think it’s when we feed her crappy food.

She loves to pull the carpet up on a…