DISPATCHES FROM THE FRONTLINES OF THE WAR INSIDE MY HEAD
Gday! This is gonna be a blog exclusively for posting/archiving my writings and visual art stuff. Hope you enjoy!
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DISPATCHES FROM THE FRONTLINES OF THE WAR INSIDE MY HEAD
Gday! This is gonna be a blog exclusively for posting/archiving my writings and visual art stuff. Hope you enjoy!

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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FUNERAL SONG FOR QUENTIN COMPSON
(ADAGIO, 3:5 SWINGING FEEL)
That patrician face, eaten in pieces
Where fire turned wet blood silver and orange
White muscle, black muscle washed till it glistened
By sugarcane fists on quivering hinges
<Chorus>
Hey nanny hey nanny diddle da diddy
(Hit, hot, hit, hot)
The natural path from the great Mississippi
(Hit, hot, hit, hot)
South where a plantation house once was towering
(Hit, hot, hit, hot)
In overgrown brambles a dead man is cowering
(Hit, hot, hit, hot, hit hot hit!)
The candle now gutters and burns down the chaff
Alloyed in times where gravestone chains cast
Shadows on boylike chivalrous pasts
Igniting like powder in afterbirth damp
<Chorus>
Hey nanny hey nanny diddle da diddy
(Hit, hot, hit, hot)
The natural path from the great Mississippi
(Hit, hot, hit, hot)
South where a plantation house once was towering
(Hit, hot, hit, hot)
In overgrown brambles a dead man is cowering
(Hit, hot, hit, hot, hit hot hit!)
I give you this fatherly funeral watch
For all of the research distractions have caught
On gallowlike hooks of the architect's square
Wait
Wait sister lay here
I think: there's nothing there
<Chorus>
Hey nanny hey nanny diddle da diddy
(Hit, hot, hit, hot)
The natural path from the great Mississippi
(Hit, hot, hit, hot)
South where a plantation house once was towering
(Hit, hot, hit, hot)
In overgrown brambles a dead man is cowering
(Hit, hot, hit, hot, hit hot hit!)
<Chorus>
Hey nanny hey nanny diddle da diddy
(Hit, hot, hit, hot)
The natural path from the great Mississippi
(Hit, hot, hit, hot)
South where a plantation house once was towering
(Hit, hot, hit, hot)
In overgrown brambles a dead man is cowering
(Hit, hot, hit, hot, hit hot hit!)
<Bridge>
I never done me not one bit of good
I'll bridge the gap where the sugar cane stood
I never done you it done me no good
To pour over bridges that old flower should
I never done me not one bit of good
To pour over
Irony is a poison that poisons anything meaningful. If you're not willing to say something with your whole chest, then don't say it at all. I'll admit, I'm thoroughly a product of my generation (early Gen Z) and we're still "stained by the birthmarks" as it were of the generations that bore us, so I dip into this poison a lot. But emotions were meant to be felt. What on Earth convinced us otherwise, I don't know. But we must make a point of nullifying irony and treating it as the poison it is.
I THOUGHT OF SPAIN AGAIN
The thoughts are racing through my head
Like pistons without steam
All sound and fury, clash and bang
Contradictory
No product was created
All is left undone
Pennies here and pennies there
Twill and Chromium
I don't think
Because I can't.
The face in the mirror isn't very sympathetic. Sometimes, it laughs. Sometimes, it smiles. Sometimes, it hurts other people.
The first case: "Because of love."
The face in the mirror isn't very sympathetic.
The second case: "I lost my temper."
The face in the mirror isn't very sympathetic.
The third case: "But they forgave me."
The face in the mirror isn't very sympathetic.
The fourth case: "Because I couldn't bear to tell them."
The face in the mirror isn't very sympathetic.
The fifth case: "Why are you asking?"
The face in the mirror isn't very sympathetic.
The sixth case: "Stop smiling."
The face in the mirror isn't very sympathetic.
The seventh case: "Stop fucking smiling."
The face in the mirror isn't very sympathetic.
The eighth case: "Why are you here?"
The face in the mirror isn't very sympathetic.
The ninth case: "Why are you here?"
The face in the mirror isn't very sympathetic.
The tenth case: "Why are you here?"
The face in the mirror isn't very sympathetic.
The eleventh case: "Why are you here?"
The face in the mirror isn't very sympathetic.
The twelfth case: "Why are you here?"
The face in the mirror isn't very sympathetic.
The thirteenth case:
"Why

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Scissors cutting off a row of paper people into pieces.
God, baby, I want to fuck you till your ears bleed.
Mine are bleeding too, I woke up with delicate scabs
On the inside of my ears,
and no idea of how they got there.
Our ears could bleed together.
Scissors cutting off a row of paper people into pieces.
You're the only one I've loved whose legs I've not yet ever wanted to cut off
Whose throat I've never wanted
To cut, cut off the nose, gauge out the eyes
And gauge how much you love me in your cries.
But God, baby, what am I to do?
I want to sew us together, by hands and by feet
Last night I had to check.
I had to wake up last night and check it hadn't happened.
I want to see how hurt we'll look, when I hurt you.
And I really want to hurt.
My fire-breathing voice
In spirits, buried, and in earth
Tarried, whipped for all its worth
It's just another lazy Sunday
Like any day a year
It's just another lazy Sunday
And Monday comes the fear
My well-disfigured countenance
In falls and stitch-ups, like the scree
In the fume-baked chaparral
For memories unwanted please:
Send unpaid to Marisol
Send unpaid, now if you see:
I pull the hope off babies
So you say well so you say
It was you who asked for punishment
For rolling in the hay
Is it any wonder
That the oil is alive?
It's come to burn us down
To a rodent's frame of mind
Not the children
You may grow
Not the children
Not the children
Not the children
Like love is sweet
Like Hell is hot,
So you are here,
And I am not.
The glint of light melts a face in reflection
In moonlife, dead feathers and tarred insurrection
You told her she had wings
Truth's a heavy thing
The heat of a moment, an end neverending
Lead weights that buck up without ever bending
Flying through the air
Time's blood everywhere
There
Is
Still
Some
Room
For
Doubt
Spill
The
Ink
And
Blot
It
Out.
I died and went to hell today. Then I came home and did the dishes. I saw heaven, too. It was nice.

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Ok so I gotta rant into the void about one of my favourite films, Man Bites Dog: (CW for murder and SA)
Man Bites Dog is a satirical and VERY dark Franco-Belgian crime comedy, about a documentary crew who interview this very vapid and shallow but very affable on the surface serial killer, who gets away with increasingly heinous crimes without any real consequences, and the documentary crew get increasingly involved in his sick acts. It really does a good job satirising a lot of this western-european, continental and especially french, arthouse stuff. The main idea in a lot of it seems to be "le life is le boring, so I must rape and kill le women, but we are European so we must dress this up with Le Continental Culture."
I feel like a particularly revealing scene is where the serial killer randomly shoots dead an Arab construction worker and makes a bunch of lewd, racially charged comments about his genitals and claims that Arabs are all rapists or whatever. There's no basis for this, and Man Bites Dog infamously features a scene of 3 "Native" Frenchmen gang-raping a French woman. It's "Le continental superiority", you know?
Language doesn't communicate. Language says what we don't want it to say, and keeps hidden what we do. Violence, art, sex (in that order) are what happens when language fails.
INHUMAN INTELLIGENCE
Is there an inhuman intelligence here?
The tramlines move
Their speakers speak
And they carry us.
So large they could obliterate us in an instant
To say nothing of the systems that enable them!
Electricity
Radio
Internet
Consuming more in an instant than we can in a lifetime
And we say we are our masters
That we have created them
Are we not the masters of animals?
Has the Sorceror's Apprentice lost control of His powers?
All that is solid melts into air
All that is holy is profaned
Is there an inhuman intelligence here?
I'm so afraid.
God help me, I'm afraid.
THE SEX LIVES OF DOLL GIRLS
You caress my doll joints and my porcelain doll skin
You tell me that I'm beautiful
I thank you
I tell you how much I need you
And my painted-on mouth does not open
It does not open when you kiss me
I will never feel your tongue with mine
My featureless breasts do not yield as you touch them
They are as stiff as the rest of me
My bra and my stockings are all frills and bows
You slide your hands between my legs
And I sigh
Not in pleasure
But because there's nothing there
How will I go on without you inside me?
But I am a doll
And dolls do not cry
Dolls do not cry
Dolls do not cry
You woke up in the morning
Mind a field of shattered glass
And all the wires were screeching
Bout the things that seemed to pass
You crossed a creek you couldn't drink from
Pollution wound the open sky
And then God came and smacked you
Right up in your eye
In one there was a devil's head
To wring the blood from gold
In one there was a stranger friend
To redden up the cold
But here you couldn't touch them
Could only touch one thing
The blood of Gods and Credit Cards
Crying up the ring
Lemme break this glass for ya
Wipe your glasses off the rain for ya
Lemme glass ya cross the face for a second
No sullen teen pantokrator
The subject here, and nothing more
Wandered for an hour in the rain
Sunday morning
Aqua Vita
Ease the pain

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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I took my heart and clasped it in a locket
I took my face and wrapped it in a veil
I took a rope and strung it for success
Who took a knife and severed it to fail?
I took my legs and chained them for the irons
I took my hair and cut it for the floor
Who was it that so cruelly threw me out here?
On the street, showing me the door?
My pride will tell you
Listen well
It's quite a pleasant
Seat in hell
My pride will tell you
Listen true
It's meant for me
Given to you
What do life and alcohol have in common? They're poisons that kill slowly.