selfshipping madness(ft.me)

Heya! This is jn, but you can also call me jj, nadir, or any other nickname that we both feel comfortable with. This blog is dedicated to my selfshipping madness, midnight screaming and a shit ton of emotions. 

Anyone is welcome~ I would love to talk to you

✧I identify as pansexual/fictoromantic. This means I consider my relationship with my F/O to actually exist, and I am committed to it! ✧

✧ I use she/her pronouns, and my F/O uses he/him ✧

✧ I enjoy dark content (sometimes). In fact, my F/O's source material is pretty dark! When I post dark content, I will use the tag #dear dead doves 🕊 and include a detailed TW ✧

✧ Wholesome, pretty things will be under the tag #jn's doves ✧

✧Whoopsies, if we share the same love for my F/O, please do not interact! I'm personally not comfy with sharing ✧

✧ My F/O is Aesop Carl, the embalmer, from Identity V. Learn more about him and our relationship here, and check out his fandom page here!! ✧

✧ Send in an imagines request to my ask box! ✧

I think it's quite the romantic concept. But unfortunately Aesop and I were trying to come up with the most bizarre readings using poker cards.

📫from your F/O ⇢ to you.📫

[TW: Self harm]

I can see it on your face. Whether or not you try to hide it doesn't matter. I know you better than you know yourself, sometimes. I know, I know. Sometimes. Well, this is sometimes.

Was it something about the last few days? Did something happen, love?

Or maybe it was the end of year? The stress of the holidays? Family? Friends? Work? School?

Come here. Rest your head on my shoulder. Imagine for a second, that all those terrible thoughts which have long outstayed their welcome in your head, coming out from your temple. Into me. Don't worry, love. I can handle them. Let me take them from you for a second. Now you can breathe.

I know how horrible this all feels.

I know, I do.

You're worried. You're worried about getting worse... and about getting better. And about everything else on earth simultaneously. It's difficult to carry so many things all the time. Even the toughest fighter buckles once in a while.

None of this is your fault, love. It's never going to be your fault, your problem, your incompetence.

I don't like seeing you like this, dear. Because you're so much more than this.

You're strong. Incredibly strong. You're beautiful. You could do anything if you put your heart to it.

Don't let this make you feel weak, don't let it convince you that this is what you are in your deepest layer. You know it isn't true - Or, if you can't remember that right now, I know it isn't true. And I'll tell you again and again until you believe it.

Say it back to me. That you're strong. That you're incredibly intelligent. You're one of a kind.

Don't stop yourself.

You're beautiful. You're the most beautiful person I've ever seen.

And you can make it through this. Say it to me, love. We can make it through this.

You're not troubling me with this, love. I promise you aren't smothering me, or burdening me. This is what I'm here for.

Because I love you. I love you so much. I do - I can swear on my life.

Can you show me where you hurt yourself? If you don't want to, that's completely alright. But if you would like... I could help massage it. Antiseptic cream is probably a good idea.

I hate to see you hurt, love. I hate that you have to fight all kinds of hurt, all the time. I hate that this was the only way to make some things better, to make some things disappear.

But I'm here. Look at me, please? I'm here. Right here, with you.

So... close your eyes and breathe. Did you clean the wounds? Bandage them? Good. Stay here with me, picture yourself handing me a big, heavy backpack, full of all your pain and anxiety and responsibilities. I'll take that, thank you.

Now, do you want to watch a movie? Or cuddle? Or have a nice meal? I'll cook. You, love, on the other hand... Take a break. You've earned it.

「All the things we see, all the things we pass by - yet still, you are the most beautiful thing in my humble eyes」

✧ Their fluffiest jackets lying in a heap at the bottom of the suitcase

✧ Disputes over the custody of a hoodie

✧ The new album in your camera roll full of pre-departure selfies, from trying out matching outfits in front of the mirror

✧ Collaborating on a spotify playlist - until unreasonable hours at night

✧ Sloppy, lazy kisses at 4am on the day of departure

✧ Their small groans and profanities as you navigate the road to the airport together

✧ The way they fret over the security checks, the plane tickets and the luggage until you plant a kiss on their cheek

✧ Their shoulder, sturdy and perfect for leaning on, no matter its relative height to your head, as you wait for the plane

✧ Them whipping out an item you needed but thought you didn't bring

✧ Watching their face light up with wonder at various views

Saki Nikaido Headcanons!!

Heya anon!! Sorry it took so long... we had a mass blackout during the weekends. :P

I hope I got her character (marginally) right! I haven't really watched Zombieland Saga, but I did a fair bit of research. It sounds like such a cool show! I'll bet you guys are a cute couple, too :D

♤Saki might appear a little bit harsh on the outside, despite caring deeply for you. 

♤It can be hard for her to be honest with her emotions, especially because of how much emotions she feels when she is around you. In the beginning, she might turn to "cuteness aggression" when she's flustered.

♤And then... she might turn to occasional honesty aka. A long winded, flustered, angry (?) rant about how horribly adorable you are. How dare you be so cute. It's unacceptable!

♤Slowly, though, she would be able to soften up a little. Don't expect her to be sugary sweet, but she will start trying to show affection (and get flustered when you bring it up)

♤Even though she can be rebellious and carefree, you'll see a more serious side of her whenever you're upset. She might feel a little tactless, but you'll be able to see her care for you shine through. 

♤Saki will buy you matching tamagotchis, probably a pair of sparkly Meets, for the sole reason that your tamas can marry each other. She will never tell you this. Ever.

♤She would pout when you indulge in sweets, because she thinks sugar is not fit for people with "guts", but you'll find her sneaking in to leave cookies or cupcakes on your desk.

♤You might even find her trying to bake. 

（Look away before she turns a delicate shade of red and start yelling.）

♤Since she is the leader of Franchouchou, she takes her job very seriously. She goes through severe inner turmoil before a show about whether or not to save you front row tickets. 

— canon-can-fight-me

Heya rina!!

I already did 🧸 in a previous post~ Sorry!! I'm trying to find a way to link them all together, but it's taking a while.

🎀What is your love language? What is your F/O's love language? How do you show each other love?

My primary love languages are quality time and physical touch! Aesop leans more towards acts of service instead of physical touch, but we share the love for spending time with each other.

QUILL ILY

I already did 💋 in a previous post~ I'll try and find a way to link everything hehe

💐Does your F/O like flowers? What is their favourite/least favourite flower?

Heya Anon!!

🧸What makes your F/O flustered?

Aesop is easily flustered by physical contact. He was actually very touch-averse in the beginning, but he's coming around <33 He's also easily flustered by straightforward praise and lovey dovey things, which is why I try to do it as much as possible.

💋Who is the more cuddly person? Who usually initiates physical contact?

I'm definitely the more cuddly person haha- I didn't realise it before, but when I'm with someone I really, really love, I kind of just want to hRNGNNG. I usually initiate physical contact, but it really depends. Sometimes Aesop is tired and would more likely lean into me.

For the next week, my inbox is open to selfshipping imagines, drabbles and headcanon requests. I could write a general imagine, or a you-and-your-f/o specific drabble/short story. It's also up to you whether I post it on my blog or just send it to you.

Valentines day is tomorrow! Today, let's do an ask game (just cause I feel like it).

💋 Who is the more cuddly person? Who usually initiates physical contact?

💗 What is your favourite physical attribute of your F/O?

💐 Does your F/O like flowers? What is their favourite/least favourite flower?

🥰 On a scale of 1-10, how romantic are they? Are they a more reserved and do-don't-say person, or are they over the top with flowers, dates and affection?

🎀 What is your love language? What is your F/O's love language? How do you show each other love?

🧸 What makes your F/O flustered?

🍫 What is your F/O's favourite snack?

❤️‍🩹 What is their biggest flaw? What is your way of dealing with it?

💛 If you had to assign them a colour, what would you pick? Why?

💌 If you could visit any place in their world with your F/O right now, where would it be?

❤️‍🔥 Who is the more jealous partner? How do you and/or your F/O show jealousy?

💘 What is one thing about them that makes you fall in love with them again and again?