J A M

As we bid goodbye to 2018, I would like to say goodbye to the struggles and hardships I faced, because then I was weak and dependent.


It was a year of growth and self development. It was the year I realized I am strong and independent.


So before 2018 leaves us, let me just say how grateful I am for all the lessons I’ve learned.
2018, you taught me so much.


You taught me to see my losses as stepping stone towards something greater. You taught me to forgive the people who did me wrong without them asking for forgiveness, not because I am weak, but because I understand and I am growing. From you, I learn to see the limitless potential in the ending of a story. I begin to accept that they’re paving the way to the direction that I’m meant to go and understand that every mistake and failure is leading me to eventual success.


I used to associate ending with regret and fear of how things would never be the same. But now, I have come to see that on the heel of every goodbye, it’s the start of a new beginning that I need. You taught me to take a leap of faith when my deepest insecurity almost forbid me to take that plunge. You allowed me to believe in that faint hope that whispered, ‘why not’ when I was racked in misery. I hit my lowest low this year but you stretched my comfort zone by forcing me to confront my fear instead of running away. You tested my resilience, my persistence, and my determination to live truly and authentically and I was so glad that I rise above the challenges and be myself.


Through you, I learn that change may be painful but it’s often necessary. It’s better to pluck up my courage and grab my chance with the unknown but boundless possibilities than stay stuck to a story that had finished. You taught me to see the present as a gift that is bestow to me each day. You emphasized that the past is the past for a reason and I should always look forward. You let me understand that everything happens for a reason and it is the lessons of yesterday that build me to the strong and determined individual I am today.


2018, your lessons are hard but timely. Beneath your hardness and the roller coaster emotional ride, you offer me hopes, optimism, and faith that I can overcome the overwhelming odds stack against me. But there were also good times and sweet victories and triumph when I refused to succumb to fear and accomplish what I thought impossible by facing it bravely.
This 2019, I will let go of the anger that resides in my heart. No matter how painful, no matter how I felt betrayed and forsaken, I am choosing to simply forgive. No more resentment. No more thoughts of vengeance. Just the assurance that when I meet those people again, I will be the first person to give the sweetest smiles and purest intentions.
I will respect myself more. This time, I won’t take myself for granted. I will smile more often and cultivate only genuine thoughts. No more self-degradation. No more self-doubt. Just the will to take better care of myself, explore, and appreciate even the little things around me.
But 2018, thank you for the struggles.
The moments I nearly crack under the weight of life itself, seeking answers, awaiting rescue and no one showed up. They’ve transformed my fragile heart into fortress. Forcing me to discover my internal strength, allowing me to stride into 2019 with poise and tenacity.


Thank you for the tears. They’ve fallen thick and hot against my skin, i felt every drop of it, leaving me praying for the pain to subside. But every salty drop against my skin, every relentless headache has healed me, cleansing me of the wounds of the past, igniting the strength for me to step into a wondrous world of promise, light and love.


2018 was the year I learned to be independent. At the end of the day, i realized no matter how many people are around you, all you have is yourself. It was the year I learned to be independently strong. I see life in a different and better perspective.


Life is full of surprises and life is a gift. It was indeed a wonderful year.
Thank you 2018, Next.