Unaccepted

Well that's been me recently..

I hate anxiety. I really do, but it seriously consumes every part of my body, as If It controlled me in a way. Right now, that feeling has just been multiplied by 10..My body just feels like a vessel and my thoughts are just floating in purgatory not knowing where to go. At this point, i'm just surviving. Forcing myself to get up and face the real world with this facade of happiness and motivation, when in reality..my entire soul is this massive dark cloud. A never ending thunderstorm. And I really just want to reach the light. That feeling when the eye of a storm approaches, and there is nothing but peace.

I feel like I constantly go through this exact moment for the past 7 years of my life. And each time I feel as numb as the last, like I'm used to the feelings that are brought upon me. But this time...the feeling is permanent.

I've come to realize that, there is no true meaning to love. It's either there, or it isn't. Despite the experiences one goes through, love doesn't define that. And I've learned that there is a lot more that goes into true love than just the words "I love you".