J|Z

I feel like this is the only place where I can actually be real and say what I want and not be judged. There is so much to say I don’t even know how to begin. I can start off by saying that my life through out any period has been so difficult. I am never at the full reach of reaching full happiness. It’s always rough on my end. No matter what obstacle I go through it’s never enough. I am never stable. I always have flash back from when I was younger seeing both sides of my parents either struggling or fighting. I was everywhere. I was never in one stable place. Almost feel like I was never good enough to just be in one place. I don’t know what it is or what I am even feeling. Lately I’ve just been feeling numb and sidetracked all the time. I’ll lose myself one day and pick myself back up on another day. I’ve completely lost it these past days. I have made a impulsive choice I hope will bring me back to life and set my mind on a right track. I really want to be better. I want to do better as well. I want to do things I’ve always wanted to do, go places I have never been. I guess I can say is that I want to be a better version of who I am right now. I’ll be back with an update. ✌🏼