The Adhd Eldritch Horror

Mixed with my complete and utter gratefulness and thankfulness, was also the thought of, “wait, was this actually something that needed to be lied about?” And those mixed emotions haven’t really gone away yet, even hours later. Which sucks. And of course I couldn’t thank my coworker (as that would give up the jig), which doesn’t help, cuz the matter still feels unresolved. I’m thinking of making cookies or something (for the whole office of course, to hide the true recipient), which feels really stupid and overcomplicated. Gah.

*I personally don’t think it was really a mess up. It took me a little longer than I expected to do something, and my manager was confused about ‘what exactly I had been doing for so long.’ I wasn’t fucking around or anything, so really I didn’t do anything wrong… I don’t think there’s anything to punish me for… but I just don’t know how long it was supposed to take me. And we didn’t have long to talk about it, since she was leaving. So now I’m just gonna be an anxious mess all weekend. G r e a t.

I don’t wanna lose another fucking weekend to feeling like this again! I can’t! I need to get my shit together so I can move in two weeks! I’m already cutting it really close. I don’t go to the new place during the week, cuz I just spend the rest of the day rotting in bed (which is probably not normal. I know this.), so the weekend is all I really have. And I have so much to do.

Unfortunately, the anxiety is unyielding. There was construction on the road, and the way that they blocked off the lanes was. Weird. The cones blocking the left turn lane opened up before the light, so I started to turn into it. Which was a no-no, cuz that lane was actually for the oncoming traffic. Luckily my coworker caught what I was doing before I had gone too far, and her “no” was enough for me to realize what the issue was and quickly correct. But it was scary and embarrassing, especially since that specific coworker has already helped me on a similarly stupid (albeit completely different) thing before. Uuuuuuugh I hate driving.

*I personally don’t think it was really a mess up. It took me a little longer than I expected to do something, and my manager was confused about ‘what exactly I had been doing for so long.’ I wasn’t fucking around or anything, so really I didn’t do anything wrong… I don’t think there’s anything to punish me for… but I just don’t know how long it was supposed to take me. And we didn’t have long to talk about it, since she was leaving. So now I’m just gonna be an anxious mess all weekend. G r e a t.

I don’t wanna lose another fucking weekend to feeling like this again! I can’t! I need to get my shit together so I can move in two weeks! I’m already cutting it really close. I don’t go to the new place during the week, cuz I just spend the rest of the day rotting in bed (which is probably not normal. I know this.), so the weekend is all I really have. And I have so much to do.

*I personally don’t think it was really a mess up. It took me a little longer than I expected to do something, and my manager was confused about ‘what exactly I had been doing for so long.’ I wasn’t fucking around or anything, so really I didn’t do anything wrong… I don’t think there’s anything to punish me for… but I just don’t know how long it was supposed to take me. And we didn’t have long to talk about it, since she was leaving. So now I’m just gonna be an anxious mess all weekend. G r e a t.

I don’t wanna lose another fucking weekend to feeling like this again! I can’t! I need to get my shit together so I can move in two weeks! I’m already cutting it really close. I don’t go to the new place during the week, cuz I just spend the rest of the day rotting in bed (which is probably not normal. I know this.), so the weekend is all I really have. And I have so much to do.

*I personally don’t think it was really a mess up. It took me a little longer than I expected to do something, and my manager was confused about ‘what exactly I had been doing for so long.’ I wasn’t fucking around or anything, so really I didn’t do anything wrong… I don’t think there’s anything to punish me for… but I just don’t know how long it was supposed to take me. And we didn’t have long to talk about it, since she was leaving. So now I’m just gonna be an anxious mess all weekend. G r e a t.

I don’t wanna lose another fucking weekend to feeling like this again! I can’t! I need to get my shit together so I can move in two weeks! I’m already cutting it really close. I don’t go to the new place during the week, cuz I just spend the rest of the day rotting in bed (which is probably not normal. I know this.), so the weekend is all I really have. And I have so much to do.

*I personally don’t think it was really a mess up. It took me a little longer than I expected to do something, and my manager was confused about ‘what exactly I had been doing for so long.’ I wasn’t fucking around or anything, so really I didn’t do anything wrong… I don’t think there’s anything to punish me for… but I just don’t know how long it was supposed to take me. And we didn’t have long to talk about it, since she was leaving. So now I’m just gonna be an anxious mess all weekend. G r e a t.

You have felt like this before, and it always passes. Sure it will return. But it will pass again. Despite what this one person’s opinion is, you are skilled and hold value. Not holding one skill is not going to ruin this. And if it does—well. Hopefully you can find another job fast enough to make rent.