tv show like grey's anatomy except they're veterinarians. all the soap opera drama but there's creatures all over the place. "is that a gerbil on your scrubs or are you just excited to see me" but it's actually the gerbil, he's a patient and we can't be having sex right now.

the characters still wax poetic via voiceover about how the surgery of the day is just like their own tumultuous personal lives but the surgery in question is like. neutering a bunch of kittens.

which is of course exactly like Dr. Riverbeans trying to decide if he wants to be a father. it's such a huge decision, and he just doesn't know what to do! if only someone had made the decision for him by gently anesthetizing him as a child and fucking. cutting his balls off.

little does he know that his girlfriend, hot livestock veterinarian Dr. Josta, is about to get kicked in the head by a horse patient so hard that she's in a coma for months because the actress needs time away to film a supporting role in the new live action polly pocket movie

Do it scared but please don't do it hungry. Please don't do it dehydrated. It's gonna make it so much scarier. Please.

dnis are pointless but also if I find out any of yous guys vape on public transit... 🤺🤺🤺🤺🤺

the lost art of photoshopped manips is actually one of the saddest parts about the ai boom to me. kids don’t even have to painstakingly edit their super niche rare pairs together anymore 😔

If you see me like your vent post that is me giving u a lil hug, I do not enjoy your suffering

‘capitalism works’ factoid actually untrue. the 62 people who own half the world’s wealth are outliers and should be eaten.

62 8

Absolutely nuts how they made up a number for this satire post and the correction is that reality is *more absurd* than the number they chose

no i’m afraid it’s even worse than that. 62 was correct in 2016 when the original post was made.