lovely

i honestly don't remember how i felt the exact moment we met, but i do know that i'm glad i felt how i did in that moment. i remember how closed in and shy you were around me at first, but we really got along as the weeks went by.

it's been 3 years. even though i still don't know everything about you and how you feel, that's fine. i really believe that everyone is inclined to their secrets and private thoughts, but i'm so excited to love you more and more as time goes by.

it's been a rollercoaster of emotions through our friendship and relationship, especially when you confessed, but i don't regret it. you knew that confessing how you felt could completely ruin our friendship but you went ahead anyway, and i really admire that. your hidden courage is one of my favorite things about you.

this letter might be a bit long, but i've worked on it for days to get my emotions all out, and completely open myself up to how i've felt with you. letting my emotions shine through in big ways really helps me breathe, so i hope this turned out okay, my love.

middle school sure was full of peer pressure, drama, and lots of unnecessary noise, but the good things always outweighed the bad for me. you were the one at the top of the good list. ever since we became close, you were number one.

i wasn't there for all the time in your life when you weren't suffering, but i really think that I'm so grateful I could be there for the time i was. even when we were first starting to get closer and you still had a lot of scars, emotionally and physically, I still think that it was worth it. just being able to help you that little bit every time I saw you was enough to make me happy.

we've both been through a lot, but meeting each other I think was the best remedy anyone could have ever asked for. nothing could ever compare to the amount of strength and love you've given me over the last years that we've known each other and I wouldn't trade it for anything.

I don't know that much about your culture and religion and I honestly hope to learn more about it as time goes on, but I do have a hunch that it would never be easy for us to have the future we look towards, especially together. for the future all I want is for us to still be there for each other even if it's not romantically. I would hope for it to be, but I honestly would rather I still be as close as we are now no matter what went between us, even if it is a little cliche.

I want to marry you, I want to get cringey matching couple tattoos with you, I want to go on picnics in the park and watch movies together, but that's not all guaranteed right now, but that's okay.

even if we can't do those things, I still love you madly regardless.

you've honestly saved me, and I don't know how I would be or what I would be today if I hadn't met you. you've completely changed my life and I don't know what's going on anymore honestly, but I love it. as days go by my life it's just full of smiles and I talk to you even if it's just through the internet, I feel like I can still hold your hand and feel your heart through all of your love and beautiful messages.

we've both been through really dark times, and it's absolutely unbelievable how much we've helped each other, even if it was just us, it was enough for me.

you're the type of person that could feel an entire friends list and that person wouldn't feel like they only have one friend, it would be like they had the whole world on their shoulders, holding them up high and giving them the confidence to live their life how they please.

my life has completely changed because of you, and i've never regretted any of the changes. they've all helped me so much with building my confidence and character, and i couldn't be more grateful. i can't wait now to help you on your journey of self discovery and independence, if you'll have me.

we're young and in love, something most people would say won't last, and that may be the case, but in this moment, i choose to stay. i choose to love you regardless of our future. i choose to keep going, even if it ends sadly. it's okay. i'll never regret what we have in this moment.

i'll always have my entire corkboard of your drawings, all always have our memories and our laughs, even years in the future.

this may just be a long, long dream, but it's definitely my favorite so far.

no matter what's to come in the future, i love you now. right in this moment. even if you read this again in the future, i still love you. even if you're gone. even if i'm gone. i still love you.

you're the reason i'm here. i love you madly, my beautiful rose.