LOST MY WAY

The answer to the question: “what would happen if both Yuuri and Victor got drunk at the same time”

Which turns out to be: “they BOTH strip and get super flirty with each other”

Victor loving Yuuri’s off-season katsudon tummy and squishing it happily and excitedly

Victor drunkenly flirting with Chris, making Yuuri jealous and prompting him to go all “look only at me” and “you aren’t looking ENOUGH” on him

Them playing a drinking strip game (essentially rock-paper-scissors/janken)

The implication that this is a COMMON OCCURRENCE for Victor and Yuuri and that they do it often (i.e. whenever they drink together, which is apparently frequently)

Naked stretching during which “Chihokogate” happens

Victor getting super jealous at this “Chihoko” and assuming its Yuuri’s ex-lover

Yuuri waking up like 10 hours later with a vicious hangover, wearing Victor’s underwear on his head like its a goddamn crown, and the words “OVERCOME CHIHOKO” scribbled on his back

Everyone wondering where the fuck Victor disappeared off to

People accusing Yuuri of hiding him away

People accusing Yurio of getting rid of him bc they found his list of edgy exhibition skate titles (including: “Yuri on DARKNESS” klfjskdfjs)

Them finding Victor essentially flexing on top of Hasetsu Castle, naked

Victor, screaming at the top of his lungs for the whole town to hear basically: “THIS PERSON IS YUURI’S PAST, BUT I AM YUURI’S NOW”

Y: “GET DOWN FROM THERE”

V: “IS THIS BETTER THAN CHIHOKO??”

Y: “WHO THE HELL IS CHIHOKO?????????”

The plot twist being Victor misheard Yuuri saying the word “shachihoko” in Japanese, and thus there IS no ex-lover lmaoooo

(The implication that this may mean Yuuri and Victor sometimes converse in Japanese bc Victor’s Japanese has improved to that point)

Y: “I COULD SEARCH THE WHOLE WORLD–NOBODY IS BETTER THAN YOU”

My soul being saved by this

Victor asking Yuuri to join him on top of the castle, naked

Yuuri ACTUALLY DOING IT

Them enjoying the view, while being naked and somehow not getting fucking arrested

Bonus:

EROS YUURI “you’re not looking enough” 🔥🔥🔥

LOVE THE FACT FOR YUURI IT HAS NOW BECOME A ROUTINE THEY HAVE TO FOLLOW, EVERYTIME THEY GET DRUNK TOGETHER, THEY NEED TO PLAY A STRIPPING GAME.

VICTOR JEALOUS OVER CHIHOKO, AND YUURI HAVING TO GO AND CALM HIS HUSBAND.

HE ACTUALLY GOES AND TELLS HIM THERE’S NO ONE BETTER FOR HIM, GODDD THIS OLD MARRIED COUPLE.

THIS IS THE MOST ADORABLE THING, BECAUSE I SWEAR VICTOR IS RIDICULOUSLY SWEET AND JEALOUS ABOUT SOMEONE THAT DOES NOT EXIST, HE SPENDS ALMOST THE WHOLE NIGHT PRAISING YUURI’S SOFT TUMMY, AND NOW HE’S SULKING AND HE’S UPSET. AND YUURI JUST WANTS THE OTHER TO UNDERSTAND HOW MUCH HE LOVES HIM, AND THAT THERE’S NO ONE ELSE, AND SO HE TRIES TO CHEER HIM UP THE BEST WAY HE CAN.

Note:

I believe most of you have seen fans’ writing about Victor getting jealous over Yuuri’s ‘ex-lover’ Shachihoko or ‘Chihoko’. If you haven’t, please read them because you will not understand what I’m talking about next.

So firstly, what is Chihoko? Shachihoko しゃちほこ (鯱) is a mythical carp with the head of a lion and the body of a fish (auspicious protectors of well-being) and it looks like this:

And as you can see, they are VERY flexible. So when Yuuri taunted Viktor ‘Shachihoko is more flexible than you’ he actually talked about this half fish-half lion statue! Victor did not even get jealous to Yuuri’s human ex-lover, he got jealous over an effing statue!

But the story doesn’t stop there!

As you know, both Viktor and Yuuri were really drunk. And somehow a drunk Viktor is more extra than a sober Viktor. So he did what a jealous drunk lover do. He went to find and tried to challenge his rival ‘Chihoko’. But where is Chihoko?

That is the picture of Karatsu ‘Hasetsu’ Castle where Shachihoko or Chihoko lives.

So now, imagine a living legend Viktor Nikiforov. Imagine him climbing the Hasetsu Castle NAKED, challenging two ‘Chihoko’ he encountered, telling them “You maybe Yuuri’s past, but I’m his future!”

So that’s what a shachihoko is - a statue of a mythical creature that’s know to be very flexible.