feelsWRITEproductions

I previously stated why this cleanse was important to me. I wanted to purge things from my body, mind and spirit that held me back from so many blessings. I was looking for healing.

Overall the experience was enlightening and a bit exhausting. I didn't use the bathroom as much but /I vomited in cycles as most people stated. I started ingesting the plant around 5:55am and finished before 6am. It honestly taste like most of your strong bitters so it wasn't bad because I have taken medicinal bitters before. It has a strong, pungent, earthy taste after it is rehydrated and the infused water taste about the same. The infusion taste like an unpleasant blend of kale and mushroom.

I fell asleep shortly after gulping down the infusion. I would back up a little after 9 and experienced mild nausea and eventually a threw up. I went through about 5 cycles of rehydration, sleep, wave of nausea, vomit, repeat. Although I hate vomiting, I did not experience the sore throat or the fiery feeling that a lot of people stated they had afterwards. Overall, I believe I had a mild cleansing experiencing compared to others. I was done at about 2pm officially but I rested for a while after the last purge because I was exhausted.

Here are a few tips:

1.) Make a space to lay on the floor. I have no idea but for some reason laying on the floor was literally the most comfortable place. I felt cooler and the nausea didn't last as long or feel as intense.

2. REHYDRATE FREQUENTLY! You will not want to drink water or electrolytes but it is necessary because you will feel empty and drained. Also, I believe the cycles are more intense when you aren't hydrating properly.

Today I made the tough decision to get rid of all of my social media besides Tumblr. After deleting Twitter, I was thinking like damn... I can never build a following if I'm constantly creating accounts, shutting them down and then recreating them with different content. It made me beg the question to myself, "Who am I?

Not that I don't know myself- because we a re very much in tuned. Over these last some odd months, self is one of the only things that I have grown to know. I began to go down the list of characteristics, features, skills and traits. Then I asked myself again, "Who are you really?". I cried. Most negative things start to surface and the dazzling smile and dynamic conversationalist became overshadowed by grad-school failure and aimless career junkie. I accept the negative aspects of my life as well as the positive but at that moment I don't know why all the things that I have come to accept hurt me.

Easy answer. Societal expectations.

I've never really dreamed of working, but even as a kid if you asked me I would say a doctor. In college, a political operative. But these were never my soul dreams. Transparently, I dreamed of being a wife, a mother, and entrepreneur but never truly clocking in or checking billable hours.

The way the dew seduced the petals

and created a sticky sweet nectar

I wanted to be in on it,

So I extended my hand to offer a tender touch

But then I became selfish, instead leaving it for the world to see

I decided to take it with me and I whispered,

"Forgive me, for all living things deserve the chance to reach its full potential

mental.physical.intellectual.sexual.

the ability for the body and the mind to come together in harmony and decide...

I want to release what is inside of me in order to show that I have lived

And I have