never thought I'll be back here sooner
Hello again my dearest hideout,
To be honest, for the past two years (almost), I thought I won't ever log in to this account anytime soon because I feel like I've finally learned to prioritize myself and that I have slowly healed from most (if not all) of the things that burdened me. It wasn't until a few weeks ago when I noticed myself spiraling in deep dark thoughts again. Maybe I needed a nudge spiritually, or a breather from a friend/from nature/from whatever, but I know I needed immediate help.
The thing is, on normal days, I know I'm okay. I get to work and act my usual -- side eyeing here and there. I live my life as a non-existent daughter/sister, who's just there for the funds. And everything else would be me, enjoying myself and trying my best to exist while looking out for ways to have fun.
But you know when sometimes you feel overly sensitive and even a little nudge of offend hurts you deep? Right now, I don't know but I feel like exploding silently and unnoticeably. Like what the new generation says, "ice cream cannot satisfy/heal this anymore.."
--maybe, just for tonight, I'll have a talk with God..like what I've done before because I know I needed saving.
[12/21/24]













