⟡ jessie !

“Sorry,” Nick apologizes. “Thought you were…” He trails off, staring at the dry heel of brown bread and the mushy apple in Luke’s hands. “What the hell’s all this?”

Luke grimaces. “All I could manage to filch from dinner. Got somethin' for Diane, too. She’s eating it now.”

Nick ignores the offered food and returns to gazing moodily out of his and Luke’s cell bedroom window. “I’m gonna kill him.”

He hears Luke sink down on the creaky bottom bunk behind him. “You can’t kill him,” says Luke, ever the minuscule angel perched atop Nick’s shoulder, a little nagging sometimes. “You know that.”

“Well, I wish I could do something, ” says Nick angrily. He can still hear the sharp smack of Carver’s backhand across his mother’s face. He can barely feel his own swelling eye and stinging cheekbone, not through all the rage bubbling up inside him. Of course it wouldn’t be enough to just hit them, of course the fucker had to take away his mom’s dinner, too.

And Nick’s own meal, as well, but that doesn’t seem to matter as much.

“Carlos and Alvin think soon,” Luke tells him, voice rising to barely above a whisper. “Pete, Reggie, and Rebecca agree. Not that much longer, buddy, then we’ll get out of here. Just - Just keep holdin’ on. Just a little bit longer.”

Nick screws his eyes shut, frustrated. “I know,” he grumbles. “I know. God, this whole thing is just - it’s just so fucked! ”

“ Sssh! ” Luke hisses. His eyes dart fervently to their door’s open window. “Keep your voice down, man! Don’t be an idiot.”

“Sorry,” mutters Nick after a moment, shaking his head. He can barely keep the angry tremors out of his voice. “Don’t need him coming back here and blacking your eyes up, too.” His blood simmers steadily with hate. “What an asshole. ”

“We’re so close, ” Luke reminds him, voice sounding kinda desperate. “So close, Nick. And once we’re outta here, no one’s gonna lay a finger on you or Diane ever again. I’ll make sure of it.”

Every time he hears Luke say his name, Nick feels chills rippling up and down his fool’s backbone. He swallows, hard, and whispers, “You don’t know that, man.”

“Well, I’m gonna try to make it that way,” says Luke with conviction. He nods at the measly dinner set out on the rickety bedside table before him. “Go on then.”

Nick turns. Luke’s eyes are boring into his own, fervent and convincing (he’s so certain ), and Nick’s cheekbone throbs and he fists his hand into the collar of Luke’s shirt, white-knuckled, and kisses him.

Luke starts to return the sentiment, lips moving against lips, but just as quickly he pulls away. “We - We said we weren’t gonna do this anymore. You said we couldn’t do this no more.”

“Forget what I said,” Nick mutters back to him, aching to feel Luke’s tongue press into his own. “Just forget it, Luke, kiss me…”

“This is a bad idea,” Luke whispers, but he kisses him all the same. “Dammit…”

He never knew he wanted this, not really, not ‘til now. Nick’s not good with feelings and all that lovey-dovey crap. The stuff before, that had been stress relief. A way to find some little moment of somethin’ nice in the middle of all the shit. Eventually, he’d put a stop to it because Pete was startin’ to look at them funny. But now Nick realizes that maybe the real reason he tried to end it’s because he was getting more invested in what he and Luke were doing than he knew how to be comfortable with. 

Is he even comfortable now? No…and yes, definitely at the same time. He can’t really tell. This is what he’s always wanted - this is what was never supposed to happen - and, Lord help him, Nick can’t fucking stop, he couldn’t even if he wanted to. He’s been looking and looking at Luke his whole life long and it’s only just now he’s picking up on what all those looks have really meant.

Uncle Pete would probably roll his eyes and say Told ya so, like he always has when Nick inevitably fucks up for the millionth time, even though he didn’t tell Nick nothing about this. Where the hell was the warning for any of it?

Life don't come with warnings anymore. Not these days.

Luke pulls away. He tips his head down to bury his nose at the junction of Nick’s shoulder and his neck. His lips flutter there, breathy, in and back out again.

I love you, Nick feels him mouth into his skin.

And Nick swallows, stomach growling with hunger as he glances over at his dinner, and he says to Luke,