My Name Is A Mouthful.

if you’re embarrassed with who you were 5 years ago, good, it means you’ve grown. you’ve educated yourself and expanded your horizons. change indicates growth, staying the same indicates stagnation.

They say your second love is supposed to be your ‘hard’ love. This is the love that teaches us a lesson about who we are and how often we want or need to be loved. Let me tell you, this is the love that hurts the most. Whether through the lies, pain or the manipulation. Sometimes our ‘hard love’ can be unhealthy, unbalanced or even narcissistic. There may be emotional, mental or even physical abuse or manipulation. This can also mean high levels of drama, and trust me i know this. The drama we experience is what keeps us addicted to the storyline we go through. This is because it’s like an extreme rollercoaster of extreme highs and lows. In a similar way we are like drug addicts, we stick through the lows with the expectations of the highs that may never come again. This is where my experience comes in. My second love lasted around 3 months and they were eventful just like the rollercoaster. I thought she would be different, i loved her in a way i thought i couldn’t love anyone, not even myself. I gave her everything with the expectation of nothing back. I put up with the constant mental abuse and rude comments, your second love is by far the worst, a lot worse than your first in fact because you build up your trust again and get it knocked back down. All I can say now is, i’m free thank-you for the hurt, the heartache and the lesson most importantly.