CAMPBELL, JESSE

Don’t fucking sneak up on people like that.

Oh f--fishsticks! Can you not point that at my face, please? This is a very nice face.

Hey whoah there. You're... naked.

"Are you seriously suggesting that you believe you could make a trip of this magnitude? Yeah - ok.."

Uh... yeah...? I think you'd be surprised at what I can handle.

You are the cutest little thing, you know? You don’t fit that whole…big hunter stereotype that I’ve got in my head.

Ssssh. I'm just a guy who happens to hunt and is seriously awesome at it.

How did we get on dry erase boards? Is this the start of another joke? Oooh, good one. But I think I liked the knock knock one better.

I wish I had more knock knock jokes. I just stick with puns. You can't explain puns to kleptomaniacs though... they take everything too literally.

Are you focusing on my extremely serious wound? Or ninjas?

I was distracting you, silly.

Why ninjas? I don’t understand. How is this such a crucial decision?

Because ninjas can punch you from an inch away and make you fall. Because ninjas can do one fingered pushups. Because ninjas can switch coins in your hand before you can even close it. Because ninjas can separate your shoulder with a very mild slap. Because ninjas.