And other classic stories for chilling out with the crew in the schoolyard
Misplaced Lens Cap
Xuebing Du
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
One Nice Bug Per Day
Keni
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
NASA
wallacepolsom
Today's Document
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
noise dept.

roma★

JBB: An Artblog!
will byers stan first human second
art blog(derogatory)
DEAR READER

JVL
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her

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@jess-jessitiz
And other classic stories for chilling out with the crew in the schoolyard

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Something about the lighting in the training room my job usually has big trainings in hates my eyes.
I spent 8 hours in there today and I am seeing double.
This tweet means a lot to me.
It’s probably a really cool and good sign that this post I made in 2014 is going around again, right?
I have been enjoying seeing people experience food this World Cup
Sees single carpet beetle in the bathroom: Oh, the last survivor, probably died single
Sees single carpet beetle on the carpet 2 weeks later: TIME TO VACUUME EVERYWHERE

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Hi I don't go here
I have yet to watch any significant portions of Hazbin Hotel, so I may be missing something relevant, but I have listened to a few songs and see many a post cross my dash.
And I'm thinking about Abel's line "To bad, that I'm not your braver son."
Because while what I have seen (which again, is not very much) suggests that people think Abel is talking about Cain (and what a way to refer to your murderer/have your dad refer to him)... I'm not sure that's the juiciest option.
Yes, I would be very surprised if they had Abel without Cain--it's too good a dynamic to not use--but there's a third brother who would be just as valid an option, who Assumedly went to heaven and Abel and Adam have actually interacted with in recent memory.
Someone who lived a full life fully without Abel present, and probably spent more time with their parents before everyone died.
What if Seth (Abel's Replacement Basically) is the braver son?
finally got those bone headphones because I hate earbuds, refuse airpods, and over-ear headphones that don't hate my ears are bulky.
However, i was so excited and convinced of my purchase that I threw away the box before trying them on, and they are too big. They work, but they slip.
i will use them but i will look silly and also will not be swimming with them
Broke: Tales of the Abyss time-travel fixit fic starring Luke fon Fabre. He's not an asshole and he knows Van is the bad guy so he doesn't kill 10,000 people, boring.
Woke: Tales of the Abyss time-travel fixit fic starring Anise Tatlin. She knows the entire plot and would really like to prevent its 5-digit body count that includes her closest friend, but she is 13 years old, her parents owe eighty gajillion dollars to a guy who wants that body count as high as possible, and most of her allies would sell each other to Satan for one corn chip. Her weapons are the ability to spoil plot points to the other party members, very carefully choosing what she reports to Mohs, and unhinged ultraviolence, and she is so mad that she's having to learn to play 5D chess instead of relying on the last one.
I cannot believe I am forced to have a car.
I moved super close to work (Where walking is Possible but like, would take 30 minutes in the texas heat, two city blocks) and because I'm boring and go nowhere ever, my car only drives like 5 minutes at a time.
This is bad for the battery. I know it's bad for the battery.
I went to go run errands this morning and the car wouldn't start.
So now, I've delayed errands to charge my jumpstarter. but once I jumpstart it, I will need to drive it for a while to get some juice in the battery.
I have to exercise my bastard like I own, like, a horse? gotta go give enrichment to my giant gas eating metal pack animal. Or it'll decide to not work when I need to go to work!
I cannot stress enough that I have nowhere to go other than the store that is 5 minutes away. I will need to hop on the highway and drive like 20-30 minutes in direction to charge this thing back up! I DONT NEED TO GO ANYWHERE BUT IF I DONT I HAVE TO DRIVE FOR AN HOUR BEFORE WORK TOMORROW. AND I STILL DON'T HAVE BREAKFAST FOR TOMORROW
Alex Jones is livestreaming rn and for the first and only time in my life it's appointment viewing. He got evicted from his studio mid-stream and they had to cover for him when he popped up in his "satellite studio" (a room in his house I assume) devoid of the Infowars branding. He's talking about how "tens of millions" of people have watched his final broadcast & you can literally see he has far less than a million viewers in the bottom corner (and this is on Twitter, which inflates views of videos ever since Elon had to convince people anyway gives a shit about Tucker Carlson's livestreams). He's currently whining that they chose not to sell his site back to him at auction, so he could keep doing the crimes that are why he was selling his website.
I didn't see this personally but he's apparently read out the Onion's announcement, which is a fake article by a fake corporation, out loud several times as if it was real. Anyway it should be noted how screwed he is, bc...
...while he can livestream under his own name, they own his warehouses of dubious supplements. He has nothing to sell but t-shirts protesting that his show is going down. Since Infowars was, first and foremost, a lifestyle brand, this leaves him, scientifically speaking, "totally fucked". He doesn't have ads, that's the only way he makes money
He just promised that he will "win the information war" which. You were sued into oblivion for lying about the parents of murdered children & lost your platform so hard you don't even have a studio anymore & your brand was seized by a rival to make fun of you. I didn't think the Infowar was a real thing you could lose, but I'm not sure there's a more definitive way to lose the information war. Anyway he's now ranting about fluoride
The ruling dashed, at least for now, the plans of The Onion’s parent company to take over Infowars and radically shift its content.
A judge blocked their acquisition of Infowars, bc even though their offer was higher, a group affiliated with Jones offered more cash, while The Onion's bid was cash plus part of the Sandy Hook family's judgment. It is unclear what happens now but Alex Jones is back on Infowars
With the help of the Sandy Hook families, The Onion has reached a long-awaited deal to take over InfoWars. We've enlisted the help of @timh
Reblogs back open The Onion has taken over InfoWars again
Let me tell you a story. When I was a child, I suffered from night terrors. It was always the same dream: I could hear my family and neighbo
Love Wins
FINALLY

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dear universe give me ten billion dollars and infinite free time and indestructible hands so i can do every hobby ever
It's stupid but it came to me in a dream… (Not a joke, I literally had a dream like this. I had to draw it)
I’m sorry my lovelies but the reason you hate yourself is because you treat you like shit. If you came up to me and then told me I was a fuck up who could never do anything right I'd fucking hate you too.
if you didn't let me go to bed until after midnight because you'd rather watch Netflix than let me rest, and then got mad at me for not being productive the next day I'd be PISSED
You keep calling me a fatass but you tell other overweight people they’re beautiful? Why do you keep shitting on MY weight, then?
Oh? It’s different if it’s me? Wow fuck you too
Love is a verb! Self love isn’t a warm fuzzy feeling, it is compassion and action in support of yourself!
And yes, this includes having compassion for the bully in your head. Unfortunately that part is also you and deserves as much of your understanding as the rest of you.
via @corazondebeskar
This is the real reason why you need to be kind to the bully in your brain too, because that motherfucker is really good at doing a switcheroo when you're not paying attention.
Today at family dinner, we got to talking about small talk and specifically getting outside of the "How are you," "Fine," cycle of starting a conversation. Apparently my sister has a friend who says "Tell me something good." Which gets answers that range from life events to hobbies to tiny joys, etc.
Family drama below
the group chat when i ask whos available to hang out next week
Honestly this is one of the best formatted jokes of all time.

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OF COURSE the Nerds at NASA Would Have a Plush of Artemis from Sailor Moon Right Behind the CapCom Desk For This Mission
thinkin about verses where yami marik gets (semi-)reformed. i dont think he ever quite makes sense of his feelings toward Rishid