JEREMY AUSTILL

I stood in my daughter’s room this morning looking at the pictures of her with various Disney princesses. These photos were taken over three years ago. She was adorable, as she is today. Parents you can identify with what I was feeling The difference in that version of her compared to the present day version was a little mesmerizing. My, how she has grown. My son, somewhere in the middle of the night, transitioned from our little boy to a big boy. I can’t tell you the exact night, but it certainly caught us off guard. The truth is, in the crucible of parenting, you are so focused on the task at hand...on meeting their needs...on offering love...on keeping schedules and making sure they stay fed...that it’s easy to be a little blind to how much they have grown and developed. You just look up one day and realize they are different.

Yet, those living outside your home often have the ability to clearly identify how much they have changed. I can’t tell you how many times friends have looked at our son in amazement at how much he has grown. Those friends who only see them once every couple of months, and those grandparents who only see them four or five times a year have a unique vantage point which allows them a different perspective. They aren’t so captivated by the unending demands of raising them in the moment. They simply look and see. The time gaps, the distance, often allows them to perceive growth and development more clearly than mom and dad in the throes of parenting.

This is often true of our own spiritual and emotional development as well. It is difficult to accurately identify how much, or little, we have grown. We are living in the moment. However intentional our efforts and rhythms, it remains challenging to maintain a proper, factual grasp on just how far we have come and how far we have yet to go. I believe one of the reasons we are prone to personal frustration is because we are trying to better ourselves, enhance our spiritual and emotional existence, in the vacuum of self. We make our life so “personal”, even to the degree of giving our faith the label “personal relationship with Jesus”, that we unintentionally inhibit our ability to assess improvement. Simply stated, our view of self is limited and we would be wise to enlist the eyes of others to help us along the way.

This is true with the organization or church we lead as well as the skills we are working on. I have the joy of traveling to churches and preaching. It allows me a frame of reference which is unique and valuable for the purpose of encouraging. Often, I will go to a church, preach and then be invited back months later. When I walk through those doors the second time, I haven’t been wading through all the decisions made, the delicacies of interpersonal relationships, the financial situation or the politics. I simply walk in and see what its like now, compared to the last time. It is so fun to walk in and see growth, development, progress…at times a pastor will be fatigued, discouraged, stressed…unable to see how far they have come. I love being the outside observer offering encouragement. I love affirming their labor is working. I also enjoy watching people evolve in their skills and talent, to listen to a young person sing when they are 16 and then not hear them again until they are 17. They typically have no idea just how far they have come. 

Some people just get it...

Some people just don’t get it...

A couple of weeks ago I was planning on taking our team of TYM Camp Interns to one of our favorite restaurants as an act of appreciation for their hard work and as one final farewell before they resumed their every day life. It was a large group, eighteen in all. Anyone who has ever tried to bring a group that size to a restaurant knows it can be challenging due to limited seating and the busyness of a dining establishment. Understanding this, I did the rational thing and called the restaurant to make a reservation. This is a restaurant that allows reservations and we were going on a Sunday afternoon, a couple of hours after the lunch rush, so I felt comfortable with the notion that they could seat our group. Apparently I was wrong.

I spoke with the young lady who worked the hostess desk and explained the size of our group, our willingness to be put at two tables and even our willingness to wait a little if necessary. She looked at her computer and notified me that they were full and could not take our reservation. Being unsatisfied with that response, I asked her how lengthy the wait might be if we didn’t have a reservation. She wouldn’t give me a time and basically reaffirmed her original stance, they couldn’t get us in. I said something along the lines of, “So, you don’t want us to come.” Her retort was, “We want you to come but I don’t know if we can get you in. We are very full today. It probably won’t work.” I politely (for real, I was polite) thanked her and ended the conversation, but I wasn’t finished.

I waited about an hour and called again, this time asking to speak with a manager about the potential of a reservation. He was unavailable but returned my call a few minutes later. I explained our situation and pretty quickly his response was, “We’ll make it work. Y'all come on and we will get you in.” We arrived at the restaurant, were seated promptly and had a great evening. 

One person said, “It won’t work.” Another person said, “We will make it work.” The chasm between the two responses is gaping. The reasons are many as to why each individual responded to the same set of circumstances in very different ways. The manager saw the bigger picture while the hostess saw the computer screen in front of her. Our large group affected the manager’s bottom line whereas it affected the convenience of the hostess. 

Ultimately, some people just get it and some don’t. Some people have a, “We will make it work” mentality while others see all the reasons it can’t.

All of us have tendencies. We have default modes, if you will, to which we routinely revert. Sometimes we do so voluntarily and at other times, involuntarily. Some of those tendencies are beneficial while others are detrimental. They are linked to our thinking, world view and life experiences. However, it is important to know that personal trends can be altered or even reversed.  

When it comes to following Jesus and leading others, it is imperative that we are able to live with an “it’s possible” disposition. If it doesn’t work out, so be it, but live with the belief that seas split and mountains are climbable. It’s important to notice the distinction. Sometimes God miraculously splits a sea. Sometimes we have to scale a mountain in faith. 

How many great moments have been forfeited because someone assessed a situation, identified all the barriers and just decided it won’t work? How about we look at a thing and see if by the wisdom and help of God we can crack the code to make it work. More times than not, it will work out. And certainly, much more has been accomplished by believing we can make it work than by assuming it won't work.

Life is full of transition. Whether it be the “pack up everything you own and move to a different state” transition, the “I am taking a job in the same field at a different company across town” transition, or the more simple “I’m moving from being a junior to being a senior in high school” transition...change and transition are perpetual...unavoidable...absolutely necessary. I sit typing in the midst of one of those simple transitions. I am departing summer camp life where I lead hundreds of people into God encounters, and returning to my more customary routines. This annual shift is accompanied by a wide array of emotions, adjustments, positives and negatives.

The resounding roar of hundreds of young people and leaders crying out with hunger is replaced with the peaceful tones of ambient instrumental worship music as I sit at my office desk.

The energizing interaction with so many friends and acquaintances from my tribe is replaced with a substantial increase of vitalizing solitude.

Opening my mouth, activating my vocal chords, speaking and declaring the truths of God’s word until my voice is frayed is replaced with many hours of silent reflection and contemplation.

Aggressively and authoritatively leading a company of people on a climb up Mount God is replaced with re-submitting myself to a staff/team member role in which listening and following well are at a premium and subtlety is a precious virtue.

Immediacy is replaced with pace. Urgency is replaced with patience.

Having a nightly front row view of the miraculous is replaced more so with the trusting diligence of sowing seeds and consistently creating culture.

Long tees, head bands, distressed jeans and Jordans are replaced with button up shirts and jackets.

To say I miss camp when it has reached its conclusion is accurate. To say I am disappointed to move on is inaccurate. Notice, in none of the transitions above do I disparage my post-camp experience. Nor do I compare my now days as being deficient to my former days. One of the more debilitating things we can do is play the comparison game. This is true as it relates to comparing ourselves to others, but it is often equally true as it pertains to comparing our present season to one prior. 

We have all at some point in time offered the sage wisdom to a friend to “let go of the past.” This encouragement is most commonly expressed as it pertains to “letting go” of a previous season which was painful, disappointing or lacking in some way. However, it is also valuable advice to “let go” of previous seasons which were joyous, fruitful, successful, exciting, vibrant or any other positive description. One of the reasons our “todays” occasionally seem to lack the significance of our “yesterdays” is because we disservice ourselves by comparing this season to one prior.

Transition is perpetual, unavoidable and absolutely necessary. Transition is navigated best when we receive it as a gift. Transition is navigated best when we receive it as it is, rather than wishing it were something else. Transition is navigated best when we do not demand that our present season live up to a prior season, but instead allow it to be what it was meant to be. Every season of life has beauty and every season of life carries with it the mundane. Every season has variations of success and failure. Often our past can be a hindrance to seeing the beauty and can cause us to wallow in frustration with the mundane.

Certainly, it’s ok to miss the past...to reflect...to smile...but don’t allow it to diminish your present. The present is necessary. It is integral in who you are to become. Don’t allow prior great days to so overshadow your present days that disappointment creeps into the soul illegitimately.

Until we come together again, I will miss the roar, the energy of my tribe, climbing Mount God with a company, seeing wonder in the eyes of the crowd...

But make no mistake, I see the necessity and value of the solitude, the quiet, the contemplation, the subtlety, the diligence, the seed sowing...I don’t even mind the button-ups and jackets.

This week I have posted a few times about the book I have written. I shared what the editor said about the manuscript, I asked for additional followers for this page and I shared the first draft of the book cover. I will admit, each post has been mingled with tension. Without devling too deeply into my personal psychology, a heightened sensitivity to self-promotion has been a necessary part of my journey to increased spiritual maturity. For a myriad of reasons (remember we are avoiding my personal psychology), one of the great struggles of my life has been the need for validation found via ascension in my field, accomplishment and outright success. I acknowledge this is an inferior form of validation, but some truths require grappling with, in order for them to take hold and become our predominant thought process. For me, this grappling took place through pain, disappointment and a measure of failure in my ministry efforts. To see the tendency for self-promotion and the craving for an inferior validation subdued in my heart, a journey I shall not soon forget was required. It took time (several years), discomfort, struggle and even some sorrow. As I type now, it demands my attention, to identify its subtle attempts to usurp my soul. Victory over this foe necessitates the grit to subject it to the greater validation…the affirmation of my Father.

Michelle and I have talked of this regularly in recent months, especially as it pertains to the book. Through the years we found ourselves under some teaching, which at the time helped us contend with these lesser pursuits. However, as we matured in this area, it seemed possible we were now allowing ourselves to be held hostage by a weakness, which was conquered and actually retreating in our souls. We had graduated deeper into our faith, and a teaching that was valuable for one season, was possibly intimidating us in our present season. Because of this clash, I delayed. The initial manuscript for this book was essentially written two years before I ever submitted it to a publisher. I wrestled internally with my previous proclivity for self-promotion versus the dream in my heart to be an author. This wrestling kept me on pause for a substantial duration of time. I wasn’t concerned with whether people would like the book or if the book was “good enough”. I was concerned with matters of my own heart…could my heart handle this? Would proceeding with the book resuscitate this weakness in my soul? Could I promote a book without promoting myself? Was my desire to publish a book vanity? Would God give me the ability to work with words if he didn’t want me to write? Surely somewhere in me, the desire to write was imbedded by my creator.

Fortunately, a couple of different friends approached me at different times with a word from the Lord about writing a book. Neither person knew about the manuscript. Both affirmed what was in my heart. Another person, practically a stranger, had a word for me about writing last summer. I’m not prone to openly receive “a word” from others. I analyze them, submit them to the Lord and move forward without much pause. However in this instance, I needed them to unlock my heart. It was clear, and is to this day, “Let Your Heart Go Free” is not so much a dream as it is a mandate. My willingness to walk through the process of seeing this book published and public, is a series of steps in the direction of obedience. This book is from the Lord to me, his scribe, for the betterment of his people.

Motives are tricky…we don’t really have the ability to control them. We can control our actions, but under the action lie a labyrinth of emotions and reasons why. However, we can…

Walk in obedience to what the Lord has commanded.

Walk in obedience to the precepts of scripture.

Then trust Holy Spirit will walk with us to help us govern our soul in the process.

I’ve come to terms with “Let Your Heart Go Free”. I will celebrate it and promote it without pause…I will tell of its value and encourage others to read it…to make it a little more plain, I will try to sell as many copies as possible…

Why?

Because this is the Lord’s book and he led me to write it. Because the truths within it have changed my life. Because many great people in the faith need to have their heart truly set free.

Because anyone who writes wants to be read. Because books sold blesses my family and becomes an inheritance for my children. Because I would like to write a few more books as the years move forward.

And ultimately, because I won’t allow fear and intimidation to diminish what the Lord has established in my DNA. I trust the Lord will help steward my soul along the way.

I don’t claim a green thumb. My dad was a gardener by hobby. His flower beds were always lush, his garden bursting with produce and his property adorned with precisely placed trees and plants which complimented one another wonderfully. His home, the appearance of an oasis. Maybe it is by genetics or by influence, but I have an appreciation for beautiful vegetation. In the spirit of full disclosure, I am not an active “gardener”. However, I was fortunate to inherit a couple of trees around my home which have the most beautiful blooms as the weather shifts into Spring.

One of my favorite happenings all year is when those trees allow the early warmth, which indicates Winter is fading, to pull from their branches vibrant hues. As those blooms slowly open, my soul is blessed. Nature speaks of the wonder of God if we happen to have ears to hear. Those protruding colors give evidence that what looked dead, always had life within. Life which endured the harsh cold of winter. The appearance of barrenness could not override what is true about the tree, it lives. The blandness, in uniformity with gray skies, only hid for a season, the beauty within the nature of the tree.

As I have gotten older, I have developed a degree of romanticism toward the frigid months on the calendar. The earth, seemingly unproductive...lacking its normal sense of usefulness...the earth, resting...waiting. As I drive my kids to school each morning, bundled in layers to buffet us against the north wind, I am conscientious to not complain about the temperature or wish for a different season. Instead, for my children to hear, I give thanks for winter and its necessity in the process of beauty and fruitfulness. Winter is not a curse, it is a gift. Winter is not the negative on the calendar, it is the season which allows for becoming. Winter has a beauty all its own, and we would do well to receive it as such rather than wish it away.

Often the natural and supernatural mirror one another. I have endured numerous winters of the soul. Seasons in which others could not see what was in me...seasons in which I knew possibility was inside me but fruit was not visible...seasons in which life seemed harsh, dull and colorless, but I sensed it was not forever...seasons in which I held aspirations internally yet was planted in the soil called waiting...seasons in which I wondered if I would bloom again...

If you didn’t hear it before, hear it now. As you read allow these words to speak to your soul. Winter does not define you, it develops you. The appearance of barrenness is the temporary lesser truth, subservient to what lies within, life. Your day of bloom is coming, and hopefully many will be there to capture it and have their soul blessed by the beauty of your life.

Humility has roots...

In the Gospel of John, chapter 13, we come to the account of Jesus humbling himself to wash his disciples’ feet. Before he got up from the table, disrobed and stooped to the floor, something was resolute in his heart.

He knew...

Twice in this account John uses the phrase “Jesus knew” to describe his disposition. What did he know?

“Jesus knew” that his hour had come to leave this world and return to the Father.

“Jesus knew” that the Father had given him authority over everything and that he had come from God.

As I said, humility has roots. There is only so much you can do to will yourself to be humble. You can muster up enough will power say the right thing and treat people the right way while still being a wreck inside. We celebrate someone with our words, but inside we are upset it wasn’t us receiving the affection, admiration and affirmation. We try to take the less important seat, but inside we are disappointed we haven’t been offered the more important seat. Someone offers us a complimentary “job well done” and we utter the appropriate platitude “it was all Jesus”. All the while we feed off the compliments as a source of validation and allow our confidence to become dependent upon them.

Legitimate humility has roots. (Give John 13:1-7 a read)

When we “know” our God designed purpose...

When we “know” God’s timing is best...

When we “know” our authority in God...

When we “know” our identity in God...

These roots are counter intuitive. We tend to think humility is derived from perceiving our deficiency, our impoverishment, our lack. But that is impossible for Jesus because he lacks no good thing. For many, the brand of humility employed more closely resembles self-degradation than the holy expression of a redeemed child of God. If Jesus is our model, we must take his cues in the arena of humility. Humility is not derived from perceiving our lack, but from knowing our legitimacy. How could the king of all kings feel so comfortable posturing himself lower than his fishermen and tax collecting disciples? Because he was validated by what he knew, not by what others perceived. We will never humble ourselves before people if we are fighting for legitimacy. It is easy to humble ourselves when we “know” we are legitimate. We will fall short of sufficient humility if we don’t trust God’s timing, because we will push ourselves to the front of the line out of fear of wasted or lost time. Humility is fleeting for the one who is trying so hard to be someone special because of a deficiency of the revelation that he is already a son. 

The Kingdom of God is upside down, humility comes from confidence, security and “knowing”. 

Instead of warring against yourself to be humble, sink yourself into “knowing”. 

It is surprising how a slight interruption on the road to somewhere can remind you of why you are even on the road in the first place. Let me explain.

Recently I was traversing the Kentucky landscape en route to a speaking engagement. Time was of the essence and we were moving with determined pace down the highway, when it happened. A casual statement of fact by my traveling companion, which transformed into what has now been a three week conversation with the author and perfecter of my faith. We passed the site of the historic Cane Ridge Revival which took place in August of the year 1801. Over two hundred years ago wagons, carriages, horses and feet transported over 10,000 people to the middle of no where for a “camp meeting” which served as a monumental catalyst for what is known as the “Second Great Awakening” in America. (At the conclusion of this entry you can read an excerpt about the Cane Ridge Revival)

My friend was kind enough to pause the day’s agenda and allow me to walk the grounds for a few moments. I have always loved history and treading the soil of our forefathers heightens my awareness of the timelessness of God and my connection to Him and those who have paved the way. After a brief stop, we resumed our journey, but my heart has yet to fully leave the door steps of this national treasure. We often assess the significance of spiritual moments based upon their grandness, but profound does not always come packaged so blatantly. A moment’s capacity to linger, validates its substance more than the degree of explosiveness at impact. 

Since Cane Ridge, my thoughts seem to repeatedly drift to this phrase, “the 25 year old version of myself”. Honesty demands me to confess this writing may be more relevant for me personally, than beneficial for you. Nonetheless, I believe most can identify. I have spent the last six years revisiting my past, with exploratory purpose, allowing the Lord to reveal regions of my soul which needed healing, correction and transformation. As I reflect on this needed journey of soul and spiritual health, I can perceive how I have frequently been very hard on the “25 year old Jeremy”. Somewhere down the path I ceased giving him much credit and honed in on his dysfunctions. Yet, Jesus walked with that 25 year old, was gracious, released blessing, created abundant fruit and kept his patient hand firmly attached. 

It is not uncommon to view our past through the lens of regret and allow a tinge of shame to harbor in the docks of our soul. However, just as our natural parents “raised us to be this way”, God Himself has spent a lifetime “raising us.” Most of those who run with me now, would not recognize “25 year old Jeremy.” He was brazen, wild eyed, raw, unwavering, intense, and unrelenting in his belief for revival. There was an ever present audacity that God would move, and a deep rooted dream that he would one day have the honor of being a primary voice in a special move of God in the earth. Some that know me now may think those things still describe me...but 25 year old Jeremy was all of those things without filter...with an edge...like a sledgehammer. For three weeks now I have been contemplating the possibility that the Lord wants me to protect my younger self. I sense the need to unearth some of the dirt I shoveled over that era of my life and make sure it can still breathe. Those years are a part of the fiber of who I am, and to become too sophisticated for them may just be a sin again God...the Father who raised me. 

I certainly believe the Lord evolves us as he increases our understanding, nevertheless, the core DNA he deposits in us through the years is directly attached to His assignment for us...His dream over us. Through my experiences, the spiritual cultures and communities to which I have been exposed and the influences He brought into my sphere...God raised me to be a revivalist...to be a dreamer...to believe in the possibility of Cane Ridge in our day.

I’m contending on behalf of 25 year old Jeremy, because he was on the right path...the path assigned him. I can understand now this assignment is not everyone’s to flesh out. But for me, it was the house I grew up in. Without a doubt, “25″ had a lot of growing and maturing to do, but he wasn’t wrong.

As self indulgent as this may sound, I hope 25 year old Jeremy wouldn’t be disappointed in 39 year old Jeremy...but knowing him, I have no doubt he would...haha 

I am now 8 years into parenting. My son will be old enough this coming summer to be a Kids Camper! As a dad, the more complex life gets and the more my kids personalities develop, the more I find myself gravitating to simple, foundational principles. In our home, I declare truths over my kids with regularity and speak identity into their young souls. One consistent statement in our family, which the kids can recite, is to wake up every morning with a “YES” in your heart for Jesus and still have that “YES” when you lie down in the bed at night. 

Growing up as a child, it seemed the faith I inherited was predicated more on my ability to “just say no”. We were well versed in what behavior was sinful and the ramifications for such activity. Hell was hot, Jesus was coming soon and if you cussed you had no chance. While I still tend to agree that cussing is a gateway into sin, a sustainable, healthy life of faith cannot be built upon a negative. As important as it is to say “no” to sin, YES is MORE. One can say no to sin, but that “no” is completely illegitimate and has no eternal significance if it is not made in harmony with a strong “YES” to Jesus. 

At present, we find ourselves in an era in which the lines of right and wrong are blurred by society. Inappropriate behavior is now clothing itself in words like love, acceptance and justice. Our children are being raised in an age of confusion, where every idea and principle is in question and available for re-packaging. I say this not to create angst, but to point us into a clear direction. While we can never completely remove ourselves from the responsibility of teaching our kids about sin, we are in a moment where sin is being redefined, by society, government, and even the church. So what is our response? 

Jesus.

We raise up a generation with an unwavering YES to Jesus in their hearts. We paint the accurate picture of the person of Christ. Jesus is still the best thing we have and Holy Spirit is still the best behavior modifier in the earth. We unveil to our children what YES to Jesus really looks like. Certainly, some “no’s” are required as you walk down the path, but we focus on the YES.

This YES is universal and applies to every region of their lives.

YES to prayer, the bible, worship and the church.

YES to kindness, goodness and love.

YES to generosity, missions and the call of God.

YES to justice and compassion.

YES to purity, integrity and character.

Yes on a random, unspectacular Tuesday in March…

Yes in the middle of math class…

Yes in the field and on the court…

Yes at age 8...11...15… 30…60…

Yes when its easy…Yes when it hurts…Yes when others are watching…Yes when no one sees…Yes when the crowds are cheering and yes in the silence…Yes when its popular…Yes when its not.

And YES in our final breath.

2018 is the Summer of YES in TYM Kids! Each night the old tabernacle will be filled with the sounds of new, young voices calling out to Jesus. Dream with me of what may come on the other side of all those YES’s.

I am a few months from 40 years old. To some that makes me “seasoned” and to others this makes me young. Because of my age, I feel a measure of authority to speak to younger leaders. However, I enter this blog with humility and honor in my heart. I don’t feel I have a lot to say to the 55 year old leader because I haven’t arrived at that season of my life. However, I can speak on behalf of a younger generation. Please read the following thoughts as the unspoken words of a younger generation of leaders. This is not a critique, it is an honest and straightforward statement of what younger leaders need in this hour.

1. Your affection and identification are more powerful than your advice.

We all enjoy being the expert. It is fun to share advice, especially when we have a greater degree of experience in an area than the listener of our advice. However, advice can either be heard and heeded, or ignored. A younger generation needs less advice and more affection, affirmation and identification. You can call out a younger generation for being “soft” for needing these things, but I would venture to guess, the last time someone affirmed you, it felt pretty good. A younger generation needs to hear they are loved, valued and they are on the right path. More than that, they need your voice to identify what they cannot themselves see. The role of a father is to identify who a kid is, call it forth and repeatedly affirm that identity. The most powerful thing you can do for a younger leader is not give them advice, or teach them a leadership lesson, but instead speak to their identity and their capability. You do this frequently enough, and you will have their ear. Your advice will become weighty to their hearts.

2. A father is better than a boss.

I have heard the adage frequently, “if you don’t want to be treated like a hireling, don’t act like a hireling.” However, I would offer the inverse of this sentiment as also being true, “If you don’t want hirelings, treat younger leaders like sons/daughters.” While a younger leader is definitely not absolved from responsibility, the nature of a relationship is primarily dictated by the older authority. Elijah put his cloak over Elisha and was the initiator of the relationship. While a young leader can certainly accentuate a positive relationship by his/her willingness to honor, the tone is always set by the “boss”. If you want a staff or a young leader to function as a son/daughter of the house and care deeply, he/she must be treated in that manner. Take them to meals, pause by their office and talk, pray with them when they have difficulty, correct with their growth in your thoughts, speak to their future, celebrate their gifts, dig into their story and unearth the “why” behind their actions, love on their kids and come along side them to help them thrive in their assignment. I will take it a step further as it pertains to the church world, a senior pastor is as responsible for pastoring his staff as he is the church. A staff member receiving a pay check does not lift this responsibility, nor does it make allowance for shifting more into the role of a boss than a spiritual head. 

3. Your struggle is more endearing than your strengths.

People will follow you because of your title, talent and accomplishments. They will run with you because of your heart…your whole heart…not just the parts of your heart that you have figured out. When an older leader sits across from a younger leader and is willing to reveal some of his/her internal dialogue, hearts are knit together. When you are willing to say some version of, “this has been a personal challenge for me in my soul”, loyalty is engendered and the benefit of the doubt is more easily given. You will benefit a young leader more by humbly talking about your struggles and the dynamics surrounding them than by only allowing them to see your strengths.

4. Care enough to have difficult conversations. And have them sooner rather than later.

This one is difficult. No one likes those awkward conversations of correction. However, if you care about the person, you have the talk. If you have them early enough, growth can come rather than severance. While I would consider myself a young leader, I do operate in a world where I am often the “older leader” in the room. I have often said, “I care enough to risk losing you.” Meaning, I will not allow myself to be so intimidated by the awkwardness and discomfort of a conversation that I allow something to fester in you. Taking it further, I will risk you getting angry and walking away, in hopes that what is in you can be brought into submission to Christ. Part of the role of a father is to identify what is good in someone. However, part of the role of the father is to identify what is potentially harmful in someone, and help them extract it. Again, none of us want to have the conversation, but care enough to endure the difficulty. If you have done #1, #2 and #3 well enough, these conversations will likely be embraced and even craved by the younger leader.

5. Your real legacy is us, not your accomplishments.

I honor and celebrate every accomplishment in your life. Every building you have helped build…every attendance threshold you’ve crossed…every title you have owned…All of these, and more, are worthy of honor. However, buildings eventually become outdated, attendance changes and titles are passed on to the next person. Yet hearts have the capacity to receive an inheritance and pass it along to the next generation. Your legacy is carried in the hearts of those you sow your life into. Find a young leader and create a legacy.

6. Don’t allow generational tendencies to govern your theology and philosophy too heavily.

All of us have been born into a particular generation and with that generation comes particular tendencies and philosophies of life. Please understand, I am not talking about something as shallow as music style or fashion preferences. I am saying to frequently ask the question, “Was that more the ‘Boomer’ in me or the ‘Jesus’ in me?” I try and ask myself with regularity, “Am I operating more with a Gen-X thought process right now or a Jesus Way thought process?” It is a tricky question which requires a lot of dialogue with Holy Spirit, but a conversation worth maintaining.

7. Instead of critiquing a younger generation, consider your role in why they are the way they are.

I wrote a blog about this a few months ago that you can read HERE. There is no easy or nice way to say this…Younger generations of leaders are the way they are because older generations of leaders raised them to be that way. Period. Maybe that is why each generation looks to those below them with a degree of frustration? Without a doubt, the positive traits of a younger generation are because of what older generations instilled in them, but you have to take the good with the bad. I don’t say this to criticize the parenting or leading of older generations. Rather, I say it to hopefully compel a greater expression of compassion and a desire to engage them with a little ownership. It is cheap and lazy to paint with a broad brush of criticism over any generation. Whether that be the younger criticizing the older or vice versa. To own our role in the development of who they are, is to engage ourselves in the development of who they will become. 

If you enjoyed this blog, read my article below:

1. Everyone has a story.

People are who they are because of their story. If you don’t necessarily like someone’s behavior, shift your focus on their story and it will give the needed context. Spend more time trying to unlock the “why” than trying to “fix” and “change”. Also, people choose to run with you because of your ears (listening) and eyes (attentiveness) more so than your mouth. 

2. When serving under another leader, embrace the fact that you don’t have all the information.

The first chair, the big desk, the corner office is privy to information that you will not have in your second chair, hall office or broom closet. Before making a strong judgment on your leader’s decisions, or being frustrated because things aren’t moving quickly enough, remind yourself that you just don’t know all of the details. It will save you a lot of bad attitude for which you will have to repent of later.

3. The thing you are doing isn’t the most important thing in the world…

It is to you, but to everyone else it may not be. Don’t get frustrated when others don’t seem to care as much as you do. That’s called being the leader. Also, be empathetic to the fact that the people around you have lives which require much attention. Ultimately, you have to answer for it so it will always matter more to you. You wanted to be the leader, right?

4. Your soul is more valuable than your success.

This seems obvious, but I am not talking about your eternal salvation. I am talking about your peace, your joy, your sense of hope, your optimism, how you view people, your clarity of thought, your internal dialogue, etc. What we traditionally call success (measurable, upward trajectory results) does not necessarily produce a healthy soul. Success will not make everything better. Actually, success can reinforce an unhealthy soul.

5. But don’t allow “soul health” to become an illegitimate excuse to keep you from grinding.

Make no mistake, anything you want in life requires some grinding. And while we must develop a healthy pace and rhythm, hard work is a requirement. Hours invested matter. That’s not just the time clock. Time invested in sharpening your skills…Time given to add the extra detail…Time given when no one is watching…Time given when the conventional work hours have passed. Time given when others are sleeping…Leaders aren’t allowed to keep time on the same clock as everyone else.

6. Develop grit.

Toughness is a very underrated trait. It would be wise to be conscious of developing it as a core value. Life can get difficult but life doesn’t stop. People can hurt you but that doesn’t validate abandoning the assignment on your life. If you aren’t tough, you won’t make it. Period. You will find something else to do that hurts less. The problem is, if you don’t have grit, everything hurts more than it should. If you are prone to get your feelings hurt, want to pout or you enjoy people feeling bad for you…go to Jesus and find some grit. Don’t guard your heart or put up walls. Just develop enough toughness that the hits won’t take you out. Grit will help with the grind as well (ask the Memphis Grizzlies…they lost their Grit-N-Grind and they are horrible now).

7. Learn to identify the difference between job description and assignment.

Expectations are connected to every job you will have. Within those expectations, whether in the form of a written job description or simply understood, there are going to be things you do not love doing. Never allow parts of the job description that you don’t enjoy, or feel less equipped to handle, to frustrate or sour you to the degree that they impede your ability to carry out your assignment. Your assignment is the thing that makes your heart pound, incites your passion and keeps you awake at night. It is the overarching idea of what you are trying to accomplish. Your job description sometimes works in harmony with your assignment. Other times your job description doesn’t seem to be related to your assignment much at all. I have allowed it to happen to myself and watched it happen to many, but a job description item shouldn’t be given the authority to affect your heart and deter you from the assignment. 

8. Give honor. A lot of it. Especially to those who are older.

None of us stand where we stand as self-made people. Some paved the way before us. Others invested in us. Own that fact. It is wise to be conscious of and respect what those people value. Wear a suit if its appropriate, it’s not religious to do so. Give good gifts. Offer words of encouragement. Say thank you for the opportunity, frequently. Instead of being defensive about your lack of experience, embrace it and pay respect to those with more. Affirm your leaders’ strengths. Don’t feel your voice always needs to be added to the conversation. Shake hands, smile and say something genuine. Occasionally pay your respects with a reminder of how the person has positively affected your life. To be clear, none of this is brown nosing or flattery…it’s honor that you would love to receive yourself.

9. Live below your means and be generous.

You may not have much to write home about when it comes to “means”, but live below that. When you choose to not buy something now, you are making a payment into your future peace and flexibility. If you can ever get ahead financially, a few months ahead of paycheck to paycheck, you will be amazed at how your day-to-day stress is dissipated. But don’t shirk generosity. You will never go wrong giving more than your tithe. You will not regret giving more into the kingdom than you “owe”. 

10. Embrace who you ARE and embrace who you ARE NOT.

In my experience, we are highly susceptible to allowing negatives to shape our theology and our Christian practice. I will give you a few examples.

1. We allow the person who has no integrity with money and uses the Bible to manipulate people into giving to cause us to...

(a) not want to talk about money in church

(b) not trust church leadership

(c) not embrace biblical generosity and/or the tithe.

2. We allow leaders who have lacked integrity, who have been sexually immoral, financially immoral or simply dishonest to cause us to...

(a) create systems of church government difficult to find in the Bible

(b) not dream with heaven on better ways to increase the finances of the church

(c) unfairly “keep an eye” on those in church leadership.

3. We allow a circumstance that didn’t turn out the way we hoped, the loss of a loved one for instance, to...

(a) cause us to stop believing things we once held as true in scripture

(b) no longer pray with faith the way we once did

(c) reshape how we preach because what we were preaching didn’t work for us the way we said it would.

There are many other examples of this, where we allow a negative to shape our theology and Christian practice. Here is my take:

Why would we allow someone who lacks integrity to high jack our system of beliefs? Why would we allow the greedy person to dictate how we feel about biblical finance? Why would we allow a manipulator to shape how we read scripture? Why would we allow a liar to control how we view spiritual leadership? Why do we create worldly systems to account for the bad seed? Why would we allow the immoral to dictate how we govern our church? Why would we let death steal our hope? Why would we let disappointment override scripture?

As we have journeyed together as a TYM Family, a distinct culture has evolved. Some aspects of our culture have been intentional, conscious. While other dynamics have simply happened upon us. Some of our culture, we sought out. Some of our culture found us along the way. This is a picture of the co-laboring partnership between man and God. Some principles are so clear that the need and value of working toward application is obvious. Others are ideas and concepts you had no idea you needed until the Lord intersected them with your charted trajectory.

Within the midst of a culture, language develops. Often language rises up to give clarity to something sensed, but not quite articulated. We understand from Genesis 1 the potency of words and how they provide a framework within which everything functions. Words not only create clarity but they also have the capacity to form a path of direction. And at times, words bring simplicity and conciseness to complex matters.

Last summer, another layer of TYM culture and language worked its way to the surface. I preached a message to conclude each week of camp entitled “Keepers of the Flame.” This message was simply meant to be a final declaration, an exhortation, to encourage students to remain on the path of Jesus. Within the confines of that message, one word seemed to elevate above the rest…YES.

To wake up every morning with a YES in your heart to Jesus and to conclude every night with the continuation of this YES is the essence of the life of faith. As we navigate the contours of life, highs and lows are inevitable and change is perpetual, but it is the determination to maintain a constant YES that permeates the life of those called faithful.

Yes on a random, unspectacular Tuesday in March…

Yes in the middle of math class…

Yes in the field and on the court…

Yes at age 15… 30…60…

Yes when its easy…Yes when it hurts…Yes when others are watching…Yes when no one sees…Yes when the crowds are cheering and yes in the silence…Yes when its popular…Yes when its not.

 And YES in our final breath.

2018 is the summer of YES for TYM!

In my many years of leading students, I have often heard the lament of others regarding the amount of “emotionalism” in youth ministry, and teenagers at large. Often these concerns call into question the validity and sincerity of oaths made in the heat of the moment. Were they contrived? Manipulated? Fabricated? As a young man I sat in camp services, conferences and weekly youth services. The YES’s I released through tears, and with emotions, still ring out today. The Lord still hears those YES’s and has continually met my YES with a YES of His own. On any given night during the summer at Camp Jackson, a sound rises up from the mouths and hearts of a young generation. No doubt, if one listens closely, within the crescendo you can subtly make out the word YES. The YES takes on many shapes and forms. It has varying contexts based upon childhood experiences, local church settings and cities of residence. Despite the diverse uniqueness in the room, there is one commonality which binds together this beautiful family…our YES.

My mind frequently fills with imagination and wonder at what the future holds on the other side of all those YES’s.

It is clear to me, for years we have leveraged pulpit time, classes and personal conversations to teach a generation to just say no…

If you were to evaluate our family, listen in on our conversations and observe our schedule, the likelihood is high you would surmise that we place a high value on rhythm. Since our kids were born we developed a schedule and have assertively protected it through the years. As the kids have gotten older, the rhythms of our family life have evolved out of necessity. Nevertheless, we have always maintained a strong cadence and pace. Everything in our family begins with the end of the day. A consistent bedtime empowers the next day on the calendar. The morning routine is almost exact each morning. The after school patterns are regular. This goes all the way to when my son eats his pre-bed popcorn, and whom handles getting the kids showered. While there are some deviations from the routines, for the most part our Mondays through Fridays are homogeneous. For some, this may seem monotonous, boring, unimaginative or lacking in spontaneity. For us, this rhythm creates the framework for consistent, dependable development…physically, emotionally and spiritually. It is this rhythm, which creates room for a consistency in engaging our kids spiritually.

As a husband and a dad, I can’t say I am 100% certain I am getting it right. Like most parents, my flesh has a way of creeping to the surface and at times the fruit of the Spirit seems to be a little rotten. However, our rhythm has allowed me to establish an institution in our home. Nightly I lie in bed with each of my children, and I take time speaking to who they are, declaring prophetically, praying over them and allowing them to pray. In recent weeks I started reading through the Gospel of Luke to them before bed (I chose Luke so we could move into Acts later). These moments are not dramatic nor are they emotional…they are consistent. Rarely does something happen in these moments that is social media worthy…they are special not because of extravagance but because they are tradition. My kids expect it. They ask for it. They crave it. All of this is done within about 15 minutes. All of it made possible by our consistency. We aren’t rushing them to bed because we are chronically behind schedule, so I have time to engage their hearts with Jesus.

A guest entry from my very good friend, Rick Waycaster, who pastors First Assembly Milan.

Anyone who knows me is aware of the fact that I’m a diehard Tarheel fan and not a fan of Duke. I am however a fan of Coach K. He operates at a level of excellence that has transcended and influenced generations of young men making them better in every way. I would like to share a very valuable lesson that I learned from a press conference.

The year was 2002 and Duke had just lost a nail biter to Indiana in the NCAA Tournament (I watched the game and was actually pulling for Duke). I would like to add that Carlos Boozer was blatantly fouled on the last shot and there was a no call and Duke ended up losing by 1 point. The coach at the time for Indiana was Mike Davis and after the game at the press conference, he disrespected the Duke basketball program as well as Coach K; would not give either any credit whatsoever for the game that day or their history of winning. He answered every question using a combative tone with a giant chip on his shoulder.

After he left the podium Coach K came up and immediately the press tried to draw him into a war of words with the Indiana coach by repeating some of the coach’s curt statements and also tried to get him to indict the refs for the no call. Coach K’s response was epic. He said, “the game we play is too great to be reduced by doing anything other than talking about the kids on both teams who poured their heart and soul out in today’s contest.” He had nothing but praise for the Indiana program and their coach in the press conference that day. 

I found myself in awe of this Great Man and I immediately experienced an epiphany: WOW, that is why he is Coach K! Arguably the greatest coach ever and now the winningest coach in Men’s College Basketball history. Since that game he has gone on to win 2 more National Championships and another this year would not come as a surprise to anyone. Mike Davis on the other hand? Left Indiana, went to UAB for a stint and is now at Texas Southern (which I had to research to find out). And Coach K is still Coach K. We have a saying in our family: “That is why you are who you are, and they are who they are”. Don’t allow people who will Never be on your level to engage you in a situation that will reduce you to less than you are truly meant to be. 

**Give Nehemiah 6 a read**

I am an avid sports fan with very specific rooting interests. My Vol fandom and my allegiance to the state of Tennessee at large creates a very simplified, refined view of the sports landscape. I cheer for all things Tennessee Vol, the Titans, the Grizzlies, the Predators (although I am a newbie at hockey) and I will even celebrate the Memphis Tigers. I am invested in and focus on my teams and their interests. While most people in the South are chanting SEC! SEC! SEC! I am hoping the other SEC teams lose every game they play. If you aren’t Tennessee, I hope you never win. Period.

Imagine my conundrum on Monday night as the National Championship game was a contest between Alabama and Georgia...

Yet watching a game where you have disdain (is that allowed as a Christian) for both teams allows for a certain degree of objectivity. As the game unfolded I was a part of a group text with some people that are die hard Alabama fans and some that hate all things Alabama football. I also kept an eye on social media. It was fascinating.

I was able to watch every play, every call by the referees, every decision, with very little bias. Which allowed me to watch my friends respond with utter and complete bias. It’s amazing, every fan base thinks the refs are garbage, the media hates their team and opposing fans are the worst. I watched as people lamented the happenings on the field and honestly, how often those biased fans could look at the exact same thing and see something completely different. Its comical, frustrating for other people and a little embarrassing when someone allows the lens over their eyes to be so heavily colored that they can’t see clearly. I learned this year, I am a terrible judge of where my team is in comparison to other teams because I look at my team with a certain lack of objectivity. I predicted Tennessee would have a 9-3 record in 2017. They were 4-8. 

What does all of this mean to our lives?

It’s very important to be self-aware enough that we can identify our biases. We all (yes, you included) have a strong tendency to look at situations (like politics) and see what we want to see...to find what we are looking for. As a believer, every day that I read the Bible, I approach it with the tendency to look for specific things and amazingly, I find those things in most everything I read in the Bible.

The problem is, over time, if we do not identify this tendency, our ideas, thinking and perspective will continue to narrow. Not only that, but our relationships become strained because we don’t allow enough room for people to be anything other than what we are looking for.

If you are looking for signs of being disrespected...you will find disrespect.

If you are looking for manipulation...you will find manipulation.

If you are looking for a lack of loyalty...you will find disloyalty.

If you are looking for a battle...you will find a battle.

If you are looking for justification for behavior...you will find justification.

If you are looking for a reason to be angry...you will find a reason.

These are just a few of the areas where looking and seeing are connected. If you don’t fit on the list above, the odds are high you fit a different list. Notice above, I did not say you WILL be disrespected, manipulated, betrayed, fought or justified. I said you will find it...you will see what you are looking for. 

Expected outcomes and a desire for specific results is as natural as an age old river. In my Pentecostal upbringing, where we often place a high emphasis on experiences in our worship services, I have frequently heard the exhortation that we will receive based upon our expectations. Now before anyone assumes I am being critical, I have made those statements and will continue to do so because there is a measure of truth there. However, over time, in our results oriented society we can be baited into confusing faith with expectation.

Expectation is centered on a particular outcome or occurrence.

Faith is centered on a particular person.

The moment faith is leveraged more for a result than the person of Christ we have allowed our Americana to hijack the deep places of our soul, subvert our allegiance to the King and mis-shape the attributes we ascribe to God. Faith, leveraged with imbalance, pulls us into the miry clay of self, causing us to exchange the pearl of great price for a dime store string of beads tossed at Mardi Gras. 

Met expectations are not the dream of the knower of God, for unmet expectations do not erase him from the story or cause him to be absent from our view. Results do not increase God, and a deficiency of results do not minimize his stature. Those same results, or lack thereof, also do not dictate the measure of His availability, nor give clear evidence of the nature of our connectivity. 

There was a moment in the Old Testament (2 Kings 4) which intrigues me because we find a woman who leveraged her faith well...

In short, the woman who lived in Shunem interacted with the prophet Elisha. She perceived him well, and she and her husband shared meals with the prophet. Over time she became unsatisfied with the occasional meal and decided to build onto her home. She created a room, a place of habitation and rest for Elisha and he apparently stopped and stayed anytime he was passing through. Eventually the prophet determined it was good to bless this woman of Shunem and asked her what she wanted. She didn’t present a long list of needs nor did she tell the prophet what she is “believing God for”. She was content. Possibly content that this prophet, voice of God, conduit of heaven, representative of the throne room would come and abide in her home. 

Along the way, an odd thing happened. Elisha decided to bless her...by prophesying she would have a son. The woman had long been barren and her response to his declaration was one of pain, disappointment, unbelief and simply stated, lacking in faith. Yet a few months later she had a son. She was bestowed a result that she didn’t have expectation, or even faith to receive. How does this happen? It defies some of our well worn theological paths.

If I can speculate, it seems she leveraged her faith and found contentment in a person. This compelled her to value his presence highly. As a result of her leveraging her faith for “presence” she was blessed with something she didn’t even have faith to receive. Why? Because faith leveraged for the person and presence of Jesus has the capacity to override our lack of faith for a result. 

What does this mean for us?

As we begin 2018, maybe we should leverage our faith more for a person than an outcome. That way, regardless of the outcome, you get the person...who will probably bless you in ways you had given up on long ago.

Yes, it is the first week of 2018 and your social media feed has been bombarded with resolutions, articles about change and a plethora of photos of your peers wearing their latest set of yoga pants and head wrap as they embark on their goal of completing a marathon by running in 8 degree weather...screen shots of diet apps...crisp paged journals with a strategically placed Bargain Hunt Mont Blanc pen...plates filled with assorted greenery...the latest devotional books...so on and so forth. I would be doing you an absolute disservice if I failed to chime in on our beginning of the year rituals. 

**If you have posted one of the photos above, don’t be offended. Just go to my Instagram account here and roast away.

Just to give you a little insight about myself, I tend to automatically retract from anything that everyone else is doing. I’m not exactly sure what category this fits in as a personality trait. There is simply something in me that assumes if everyone else loves it or does it, it probably isn’t that great. However, it would be disingenuous to deny having a journal sitting on my desk as I type, with color coded Sharpie, and specific aspirations written inside. Notice, I use the word “aspirations” because I can’t bear the thought of being so cliche as to use the word “resolutions”. What in the world is wrong with me???

The low hanging fruit is the inevitability that many of our “aspirations” are long forgotten by the time the first blooms on the dogwoods have broken through the gray of winter. We are so quick to take on frustration if we come to a January having to attempt again something we set out to do the previous year. I believe part of our disappointment is in the realm of our personal expectations. We envision this dramatically altered life, which comes on the heels of dramatic, wide sweeping changes to our daily routine and ritual. In my (hopefully soon to be published) book I take a couple of chapters to speak on the value of incremental consistency and rhythm. The crux of these chapters is on valuing sustainability over the superb. We tend to envision ourselves becoming the guy whose t-shirt squeezes his biceps, a revelation spitting prayer warrior or the ultimate Pinterest mom. Unfortunately, our approach to getting there becomes a deterrent instead of an assistant. We often embark on a plan that is so drastic in comparison to our normal, that failure is close to certain. 

I want to encourage you over the next few weeks. Make changes...do things differently...put focus on areas you feel need focus. Along the way, value rhythm over the grand. Value the subtle over the obvious. I have spent the whole of my life in the church world and the last 19 years in some variation of leadership. Through the years I have learned a few tricks of the trade. One of the great points of contention I have consistently witnessed is volume. Specifically, the volume of the worship music. I have literally witnessed intense arguments and heard very mean things said because the music was too loud. One “technique” to soothing this friction is to start the music a little softer. As things progress you incrementally increase the volume. If a person walked into the room and hears the volume as being too loud, it is a shock to the system and becomes problematic. If a person is in the room and the volume gradually increases, it often goes unnoticed. Now to be clear, I have never participated in such shenanigans...just heard it as an urban legend from worship leaders and sound techs through the years. I doubt this has ever been done in your church so don’t get worried. It’s right up there with unicorns and sound guys turning the mics of back ground singers way down because they aren’t very good singers...never happens...just a myth.