Im Active I Swear

You were an ARMY since the beginning. You made it your mission to attend every concert they held that was nearest to your location, also making sure to take high quality pictures of the boys, mainly Jungkook, for fans to see. 

Your online fan site career begun after looking over the pictures you took at their first concert. The way Jungkook’s tight dark jeans gripped onto his thighs,  so clearly that you could see the folds around his crotch area. Hoseok’s face drenched in sweat, like he just stepped out of the shower, radiated in your small camera screen and you could almost lick it off his face. 

You deemed yourself a Jungkook fan site, occasionally posting pictures of the other boys because they were just too good not to show off. Over the years, you’ve developed a following - eventually reaching the top status, a popular account if you were to boost yourself.

You knew the rise of your fame was in part because of the amazing photos you took, but also the rare ones that no one else seem to have but you. The ones of Jungkook doing mundane things like cooking or lounging around in gray sweats with a controller in his hand. No one questioned you about it, they were just happy to be seeing rare photos of such a private man.

“Are you exploiting me again?” Jungkook asked, looking up from his phone to see you, once again, camera in hand. 

You giggled, lifting the camera eyehole up to your eyes, framing his tattooed hand and snapping a picture.

“I gotta give the fans what they want,” you reasoned. 

“I bet if you took a break, the fans will be fine.” He places his phone on the bedside table, getting up from the bed to tug the camera away from your hand and gently tosses it onto the bed behind him. He wraps his arm around your waist and pulls you into his chest. You let your self go, and Jungkook wasn’t prepared for the sudden weight so he falls back and takes you with him. You land his hard chest with an oomph.

“You’re not upset that your private space is exposed on the internet?” You ask him seriously for what was the nth ever since you’ve started. You listened to his heartbeat as your head laid on his chest and your fingers traced the tattoos on his arm. 

“What have I told you before, baby?” He replies, shifting the both of yours position so that now his back is against the bedpost and you’re straddled on his lap. 

“I know you’ve said you’re fine with it thousands of times. But I don’t want to cross any boundaries,” you pouted. Your hands make their way to the back of his head to tug on the little hairs at his neck. 

“And I’ll tell you again that it’s fine. You can post our sex tape and I wouldn’t care,” he grinned. 

You slapped his chest and giggled. “Your manager would banned me from seeing you.” 

“So? I’ll leave just to be with you. BigHit would fail without me.” 

“Don’t get too cocky. If the rest of the boys are carrying BTS now, they can carry BigHit.” 

“Who said they’re carrying BTS?” 

“I did.” 

“You got a mouth on you.” His thumb come up to your bottom lips, swiping it across, then leaving it in the middle.  

“You love my mouth.” You grinned, giving his thumb a little bit.  

“I do, baby.” 

Already 3 weeks into the semester was when you transferred into Jungkook’s English class. Material was all the same so you didn’t feel like you were behind on anything. Plus, it was just an English class. Write a couple of essays, read a couple of books, easy work in theory. 

The class started at noon so you had time to make your upper half presentable for your first day of that class. Entering the zoom call, you realized everyone had their camera on so you figured you would to. You looked around the “classroom”, your eyes landed on a handsome face. You hovered over his video cube to find out that his name is Jungkook. You kept that in mind as your eyes wander across the members of your class again only to land back on his video.

Professor XX comes in and starts the class. He asks you to introduce yourself and the whole time you stare at Jungkook’s video. You noticed that he had his head was up and a small smile on his face, kind of like he was really taking in everything you said. You tried not to blush on screen as you continued on with your favorite color.

The class was boring, of course, but occasionally - more than occasionally -  looking at Jungkook made it better.

You had a habit of daydreaming, thinking of funny memories that show evidently on your face through small smiles and widen eyes. But you were quick to wipe it away, hoping that no one, especially the professor catching you doing anything but paying attention.

One day, you caught Jungkook producing a little smile as well. He wasn’t looking down, so you figured he had another tab open on his laptop and looking at that. You didn’t give it a second thought, though. It wasn’t until you smiled and you saw him smile, that maybe he was reacting to you. And slowly, a crush begins to develop. 

You’ve instastalked him for a couple weeks now. His account was on public. With his 2k followers and wild boy lifestyle, you thought you wouldn’t have a chance so you didn’t even bother. The moments that you and Jungkook shared between each other in that zoom call were special in your heart.

One day Jungkook DMs you on Instagram ...

After that day, a friendship formed...

You and Joon were just friends

Friends that occasionally have solo hangouts 

But those were all they were; hangouts 

So one night, when you assumed he was drunk texting you and you were also a little tipsy, he suggested going nugget hunting

Which you were all for because who can pass up on chicken nuggets?? 

But it got raincheck a couple of times due to personal issues on both sides

But anyways, a day was decided and you were more than excited to go 

He picked you up around noon and in the car, you also suggested to get a bunch of boba from different places 

He didn’t mind 

Because you guys were just friends, you suggested that at every stop one person would pay and then it alternates, so no one would end up owing the other person 

The first stop was McDonald’s where you paid for nuggets 

Next was boba place #1 where he paid 

Then boba place #2 where you paid 

Then boba place #3 where he paid 

Now, the problem was you have all this food but where to eat it at? 

You always wanted to have a rooftop picnic in the back of a car trunk and luckily for you, he also wanted to have that experience 

Namjoon drove an SUV so the trunk was big enough 

He drove to a general hangout spot that was pretty popular around your area and went to the parking lot of a Target where he drove to the top. 

It might have been restricted but there was no barrier to stop you guys from going in so honestly F it 

Finding a relatively shady parking spot, he parked than both of you cleared out his trunk --- and his trunk was MESSY 

But it was all fine in the end

You laid out the boba and food, sharing between each other

It felt so much like a date but you knew it was just a hangout 

“How did you have sex in the car if your trunk is this messy” 

“Who said I had sex in this part of the car” 

“Absolutely amazing” 

You guys practically talked about everything 

The convo switched from flavoured condoms to sports, to school…. Literally everything 

Namjoon goes to lay down inside the trunk, to which you constantly had to make sure that he was comfortable and had enough legroom even if it looked at he didn’t 

“Come sit next to me”

You were hesitant but did it anyway

It was hot outside, no fans, no ac but you didn’t mind. As long as you were with him 

You both finished the food and the boba and then just sat there to chill and talk 

Who even knows how much time passed when a guard appears and basically tells you to scram

At the moment you got scared of the repercussions but once you left the rooftop, you were kind of glad he comes up

If he didn’t, you don’t know how much longer you’d be there 

Thunder was starting to roll in as Namjoon began to drive you home 

A couple of raindrops turned into a lot and now you guys were sitting a huge downpour 

Instead of stopping on a shoulder lane, Namjoon continues to drive, your house was close anyways 

He makes it to your house and you’re relieved to find that your parents aren’t home yet 

So you sit there for a while longer to talk to him 

Once again, about everything. You figure you run out of things to talk about but it never gets tiring with him 

It’s still raining 

“I wanna dance in the rain,” you said suddenly 

“Do it” 

“Dance with me?” 

You both got out the car started to twirl in the rain 

You were sure neighbors could see the both of you acting like doofuses outside their window but you didn’t care 

You held out your hand to which he held and then pulled you close 

The both of you laughed, the sound getting muffled by the rain hitting the road 

“This was fun!” 

“It was!” 

You started to pull away but before you actually could, Namjoon pulled you even closer and his lips touched yours 

Your brain short circuits and you didn’t know what to do 

“Sorry if that was unwanted,” he says  

“That was more than wanted” 

“The hangout today, that was a date right?” 

Namjoon nodded

You got up on your tippy-toes and kissed him back 

Happily ever after 

It was already sunset when you decided to get out of bed. You groaned as your fleece blanket falls off your body, all while your feet touch the cold ground. The rain was still pouring outside, hitting your window every few seconds. The low rumble of thunder occasionally follows with a flash of lightning. You didn’t let it stop you from going into the bathroom and washing away with sleep and sadness that stained your face. 

It’s been 9 months already since Jungkook broke up with you. It wasn’t a messy break up at all. You understood that his job required him to travel aboard a lot and that just meant less time spent with you. 

“Just tell me not to leave and I won’t. I love you. It’s you over any job.” 

As much as you wanted to become selfish within that moment, you couldn’t let the love of your life regret the choice he wanted to make that day.

“Take the job. Please. I want you to take the job.”  

After giving him one last kiss and smiling through your tears that have already fallen, Jungkook left your apartment. That night and every night afterward, you couldn’t sleep without crying to the through of him. You lean your head down against the sink counter, trying to wipe that memory away from your mind, at least for now. Giving yourself one last look in the mirror you muster up a smile and say, “It’s time to be productive.” 

Your closet has been a mess ever since the break up happened. Giving him back every piece of clothing that he lent you resulted in your closet looking like a tornado ripped through it. As harsh as it sounded, you didn’t want to be reminded of your worst heartbreak, didn’t want to be reminded of him. As you begin to fold up your shirts that have been carelessly tossed, a black hoodie catches your eyes. 

You pull it out of a pile of other random clothing and suddenly get hit with the nostalgic smell of vanilla. The image of Jungkook suddenly appear in your mind and your eyes’ automatic response was to become watery…

“This is such a cute hoodie,” you said, shifting through his infinite black hoodies and white tees. Luckily for you, he knew enough to organize the only two articles of clothing that seem to take up the most space in his closet. 

“Try it on,” he suggested, turning around in his gaming chair to take a quick look at you before returning back to his game. 

“You don’t mind?” you questioned, walking up to his chair, casually looking at his game and him. 

He becomes a little startled to now find you next to him to which you giggled at but he quickly reverts his attention back to the game. “Why would I mind?” 

You’re already putting the hoodie over your head as you meekly replied, “My last boyfriend hated when I wanted to wear his clothing.” 

Jungkook paused his game to which you didn’t think could be pausable and then pulls you onto his lap. You fall with a little oomph that leaves your lips that has Jungkook grinning from ear to ear. He shifts your position so now you’re straddling him with your arms wrapped around his neck and your fingers twirling at the ends of his hair. The black hoodie provides you warmth in his cold room and Jungkook doesn’t fail to compliment you on how nice you look in his hoodie. “I want you to wear all my clothing. Forever.” 

Smiling, you leaned down to kiss him. Jungkook’s hands fall to your hips and he squeezes it a little too roughly. You jolt up against him at the surprise pain and he instantly moans into your mouth. 

“Easy tiger,” you teased, gripping the amount of hair that was already in your hand, pulling it so his mouth falls off yours. 

“I can’t help it when you look this good.” 

“I’ve worn sexier clothing, Kook.” 

“Nothing’s as sexy as seeing my girl in my clothing.” He reaches up to grab your face and pulled you back into a stomach curling kiss. 

The pain in your heart is ongoing as you remember how it felt to kiss Jungkook. The way his lips fit into yours like it was a match made in heaven. The peppermint taste on his tongue. How it just felt... right. 

You clutch the hoodie a little closer to your body, the tears now rapidly falling down like the rain outside. Gathering up the depleting energy you have, you put on Jungkook’s hoodie. The arms falling a little bit longer than your arm length, but it was perfect for wrapping around your body. You engulfed yourself in his warm vanilla scent, pretending it was him hugging you for the last time, and wishing he was actually there with you and not just a piece of clothing. 

“Baby?” From your bedroom, you can hear the front door closing and shoes being dropped onto the ground. 

“Babe?” 

You let out a groan and Jungkook tracks the sound to find you curled up in bed with his black hoodie. He let you take it back to your apartment because you loved it so much, and evidently, he loved seeing you in it. But seeing you at this moment made him worry. You were in the fetal position, your arms wrapped around your stomach, trying to stop the internal pain. 

“Are you okay, baby?” He rushes to get into bed with you, pulling your back to his chest so that he was big spoon. His face falls into your hair and his hands wander towards your stomach to rub circles. 

“I’m fine,” you whined. “Just cramps.” 

Jungkook’s circles seem to work as you start to straighten out your legs and your breathing slowly returns back to the normal. 

“I knew it was happening this month. I should’ve bought you chocolate or something,” he said. 

You turn your head to see Jungkook looking at you. His doe eyes shiny even if it was midnight and the only light source in your room was from a lamppost outside. You tilt it up a little further give him a kiss. He reciprocates by leaning down, meeting you halfway so you don’t hurt yourself. 

“I didn’t know you tracked my period.” You flipped over so that your face was planted into his chest. You inhaled the vanilla scent that he carries with him and suddenly you felt all better. 

“Of course I do. Every time you act out, I gotta know if it’s because of your period or because of something I did.”

“What if it’s both?” 

“That just means extra chocolate.”   

You giggled as Jungkook pulled you closer to his body. Being in his hoodie and his arms became insufferably hot for you, but it helped with the cramps so you didn’t want the warmth to leave. 

“Kook?” Your eyes slowly begin to droop. The grip of Jungkook’s arms around you loosen, signaling he was also tired and on the verge of sleep, but he manages to reply with a grunt. His chest rumbles a little and you smiled. “I love you so much.” 

He leaned down to kiss the top of your head. “I love you more, princess.” 

You opened your eyes to find yourself staring into the darkness of your room. Your arms still wrapped around your body for comfort, not Jungkook’s. With little energy left, you managed to fold up the rest of your clothes. Feeling satisfied with doing something today in comparison to doing nothing at all the other days, you return back to bed, feeling lonelier than normal. The thoughts of Jungkook cloud your mind once more as you close your eyes to drift away. 

Your phone reads 6 am when you accidentally tapped it flipping over on the bed at the sound of someone knocking on your door. Still a haze of confusion but slightly more awake, you get up from your bed to see who it is. Their knocking continues as you trudge past your little kitchen to the front door. Opening it up, you couldn’t believe the person that stood in front of you. 

A drunk Jungkook sits in the passenger seat. His seat tilted back so it’s more comfortable. You’re not sure if he’s still conscious, or at least awake enough to feel your hand on his. 

“Kook? Baby?” You glanced over to his side. He slightly opened his eyes and hummed in response then went back to sleep. 

“Poor baby,” you chuckled, ruffling up his already messed up hair. 

It was a struggle getting a half-drunk half-asleep Jungkook up the stairs, but you managed to do it. 

“Let’s get you to bed,” you said to him, opening his bedroom door. 

He crashes down on the bed with a thud and starts to whine, “It’s hottttt.”

“Take your shirt off then,” you replied. 

You walked out of his bedroom for a bit to lock the front door and grab a snack. It was barely 2 minutes, before Jungkook starts to whine again. You rolled your eyes. You’re dating a little kid. You grabbed the bag of pocky that was closet and went to go see what he needed.  

“Where’d you go?” He was sitting up on the bed, still very tipsy. His head against the headboard, still flushed.

“I went to lock your front door and get food.” 

He held out his arms and pouted. You stood at the door looking at him. 

“Babyyy.” 

Even a drunk Jungkook has effects on you. Saying no was absolutely impossible to this man. You joined him on the bed and slipped into his arms. 

“It’s so hot,” he complained again. 

“I told you to get rid of the shirt.” 

“Can you take it off for me?” 

“Are you not capable of taking off your own shirt?” 

“I like it when you do it.” 

You rolled your eyes at his response. Jungkook is an absolute man child. 

“Arms up,” you tell him. He listened. 

You take his shirt and hop off the bed to go put it in the laundry basket. In the process, you go search through his drawer for a T-shirt, knowing for damn sure you’re staying the night with Jungkook. 

“Come back to bed,” he whined again. 

“Let me shower first.” You take out one of his many white tees. 

“Can I shower with you?” Jungkook slyly smiled. 

“If you can stand up properly,” you replied, snarkiness in my voice. 

Jungkook groaned as he rolls off the bed. Just as his two feet touch the ground, he collapses back on to the bed. You rush towards him. 

“It’s okay, baby. I can handle myself in the shower.” You lean down to plant a kiss on his lips and he smiles happily. 

The shower should have been half an hour max. When you leave the bathroom, Jungkook isn’t on the bed. 

This dumbass, you muttered to yourself. 

You threw your dirty clothes into his laundry basket, groaning at the fact that you most likely have to do laundry in the morning. You leave his room to find Jungkook slump at the counter. A glass of water in his hand and his head planted on the countertop. His back was flexed and all his muscles defined, but your focus was getting him to bed now. 

“Kookie?” You placed a hand on his back, running up and down his spine. 

“Water tastes so good,” he murmured. 

You giggled. “I know it does.” 

You stand across from him. “Ready to go to bed now?” 

He followed your voice and looks up. “You look really good in my clothes.” 

You feel a blush rushing up your cheeks. “You didn’t answer my question.” 

“Let me just look at you for a second. Damn, I can’t believe you’re mine.” 

You’re furiously blushing now. To prevent Jungkook from looking, you go to grab a cup from the top cupboard, the shirt ridding up your ass a smidge. 

“And you’re not wearing pants? I’m a lucky guy.” 

At his statement, you were quick to pull down your (Jungkook’s) shirt. You pull out the water filter from the fridge pour some into your glass. 

“Jungkook. Bed,” you said again, taking sips from the glass, avoiding his eyes. 

“Are you going to take off your shirt too?” 

You choked on the water that you drank. 

“Why are you so horny right now?” 

“You look so good,” he whined. 

His asian flush went down. He seemed to have sobered up. But then again, drunk words are sober thoughts. 

“Tomorrow Kook. Can we just go to bed now?” You grab his now empty glass and yours to put in the dishwasher. 

“I want you now,” he continues to whine. 

“Sucks Jeon. I’m going to bed.” 

You leave him in the kitchen, making your way back into the bedroom. You go into the bathroom to brush your teeth when Jungkook walks in. He pulls you into his chest as you’re still brushing your teeth. He lays his chin on your shoulder, his eyes closed. He starts to sway back and forth and brings you along. You pull away from spit out the toothpaste in your mouth and to rinse. 

When you look back up, Jungkook looks sad and a little guilty. 

You turn around to face him, naturally slipping your arms around him for a hug. 

“What’s wrong?” You said against his chest. Jungkook’s heartbeat was a little faster than normal. 

“I felt like I pushed sex on you,” he whispered. 

You looked up at him, tears already forming in his eyes. 

“Is that what you think?” You gave him a little smile, showing that you were in no way mad. 

He nodded his head, yes, letting a couple of tears drop. You cup his face, brushing away the tears with your thumbs. Getting on your tippy-toes, you kiss Jungkook, intensely. 

“You can and will never make me feel like that. Okay?” You said when you pulled away. 

“I love you so much,” his voice choked up and more tears came out. 

“Awh baby. I love you.” You gave him another breathtaking kiss. “Brush your teeth. I’m going to grab some aspirin for you in the morning.” 

He nodded and let you go. You went to get the aspirin from the medicine cabinet in the kitchen and a water bottle to bring back into the room. You turned off the lights to the kitchen and double-checked the locks on the front door. Jungkook was already knocked out on the bed when you came in. You closed the bathroom door, turned off the bedroom light, and slipped into bed with Jungkook. Feeling your presence, he grabbed your waist and pulled you closer to his chest. His body was radiating heat and you felt it seep through the thin white shirt you were wearing. 

You’re not too sure when you started liking him. It kind of hit unexpectedly. One day he was your friend Jeon Jungkook, then the next, he was your crush Jeon Jungkook. But, you couldn’t tell him. Your friendship was too strong and a simple confession would ruin everything. So you kept it inside, like everything else that bothered you in life. Unluckily for you, only Jungkook could tell when you were hiding something. 

 So, here you are, lounging around in his apartment living room watching Haikyuu. Jungkook just got home from dance practice so he was in the shower. You hummed along to his voice as he sang Euphoria, his voice echoing off the bathroom walls. Groaning out of boredom, you turned off the anime on the tv and went on your phone to scroll through Instagram. Jungkook opens his bedroom door and you’re instantly hit with the smell of vanilla. 

“I fucking-” 

Doe eyes stare back at you, a little shocked from your sudden outburst. The words from your mouth died off at the sight of a shirtless Jungkook with only a pair of gray joggers to keep it decent. 

“Why are you shirtless?! You should be grateful I’m not just any girl.” You look away, mentally attempting to get rid of the blush on your face.

“I’m glad you’re not just any girl. You’re my best friend.” 

Your heart pinged at the word. “Best friend” - he only saw you as the girl he’ll go to for relationship advice and never the girl for a relationship. Your lips form a tight line smile. 

“You’re my best friend too,” you responded, facing him but not really meeting his eyes. 

He walks over to the fridge and grabs himself a water bottle. Your eyes follow him, followed on how his shoulders flexed with every movement he made and how nice it would be to hold in his embrace. 

“You’re staring again,” he said, not even taking a moment to look back at you on the couch. Jungkook just knows. He always knows. 

He makes his strides towards you on the couch. Instead of sitting next to you, he pins you down, hovering above you and all you could do is stare. 

“Do you like me that much?” 

“I-” 

He kisses your jaw and goes down to your neck. 

“I know you have feelings for me.” 

You don’t reply and he continues to mock you. 

“You don’t think I haven’t noticed the way you look at me. How fast your heartbeat is whenever I hug you. How evidently you blush whenever my name is mentioned.” 

He gives your lip a small peck. 

“Please stop..” you whispered.

He pulls away and tilts his head smugly. 

“I’m not good for you. I will break your heart and I love you platonically too much for that.” 

He gets off the couch and heads towards his bedroom again. Your heart was racing quickly, too quickly. Quick enough for a rash decision to happen and before it registered in your brain, you did it. 

You jumped off the couch and slammed yourself onto Jungkook’s back, wrapping your arms tightly around his torso. 

“Do it,” you said into his skin, a small whisper but loud enough for Jungkook to hear. “Break my heart.” 

“Hey, Kook,” I rose my head up from his chest. 

“Hm?”

Jungkook was scrolling on his phone with his fingers absentmindedly playing in my hair while I was tracing odd shapes on his exposed tattooed sleeved arm. My head on his chest and my legs wrapped up in his like a koala clinging to a tree. 

Jungkook takes a break on his phone and looks down at me, still stringing his finger through my hair. 

“What’s on your mind, babe?” 

I hear his question but hesitant to answer. What if this is the last straw? He’ll definitely get upset with me and probably want to break up. God, why am I so insecure?

“You still like me right?” I look back down to his arm, not wanting to see his eyes, getting scared of the answer even though I shouldn’t be. 

“Who made you think I didn’t?” 

“No one,” I started. Someone.

“No, there’s always someone. Tell me.” 

Jungkook places his phone on the table next to our bed and brings me to sit on his lap. I’m forced to face him now but I try to look everywhere but his eyes. He places a hand underneath my chin and lifts my head up so I look at his face. His doe eyes search my face for an answer and he gives me a small smile, reassuring me that this is a safe space. His hand now runs up and down my back, heading to my shoulder as he gives me an awkward massage. 

“So Kat,” I say. 

“Tae’s girlfriend, Kat?” Jungkook questions, still massaging my shoulders. 

“Yeah.” 

I bend down to put my head on top of his chest again. His arms come circling around me, holding me in a tight embrace. 

“Mhm, what about her?” He urges me to continue. 

“I was on FaceTime with Kat and basically she told me how other another friend - not sure if I can even call her that - but she was doubting our relationship.” 

Jungkook’s hands always manage to find its way into my hair. His chest rumbles as he talks. God, I’m in love with his deep voice. 

“What does she have to do with our relationship? She’s not a part of it.”  

“But she made me start to doubt your feelings for me.” 

Before Jungkook can cut me off, I started to ramble on. 

“And I know you love me. I know that, Kook. But I get so in my head sometimes and I start to doubt if you really do like me or you’re pitying me and this is just a game to you. And after what she said I can’t help but think you liking me is all a delusion.” 

Jungkook stays silent for a while. I became scared that he thought everything I said had been true and that he was going to kick me out of his bed and his life, forever. 

“You’re right about it being a game…” 

My heart stops beating inside my chest. My world becomes spiraling and I feel the tears almost coming out of my eyes as my stomach clenches and all the butterflies die. 

“This whole thing we have a big game with marriage as the end game.”

I open my mouth. 

“Yes, I want to marry you. And I won’t take no for an answer.”  

I bury my face in Jungkook’s neck, mortified of why I was starting to have doubts and feeling uncertainty. He loves me and I love him and that’s all that really matters. 

“Don’t worry about what your friend said. She’s just jealous she doesn’t have a love like ours.” 

Jungkook kisses the top of my head. 

“I love you so much,” I whisper into his neck.