Abuse Me Sir

All you faithful readers know I’m a big fan of knocking on a girl’s back door.   It feels great.   It’s naughty.   What’s not to like about it?

Nothing… for the guy.

For the girl, anal can often be traumatic.   I’ve posted a bunch of times on how to prepare for anal sex.   You can type “anal” in my search bar and get a ton of info.  But let me highlight some things:

Anal sex requires preparation to keep it from being messy.

Anal sex requires relaxation and trust.  If the girl isn’t relaxed… if she tenses up… that’s when it hurts.

Anal sex requires a lot of lube.   LOTS of lube.

Anal sex requires you to begin small.   A finger in the ass.  Then two fingers.  Then your cock.

Anal sex requires you to start slow.   Slide it in and pump with short, slow strokes.

Anal sex requires foreplay.  Because again, a woman needs to be really relaxed and into it before her ass will open.   

What I haven’t written about in much detail is good positions for anal.  I’ve said, “If it hurts, try the woman on top.”  But beyond that, nothing much.  That changes with this post.  

I want to share with you ten positions that can be great for anal.  They’re great for a variety of reasons: intimacy, pleasure for him, pleasure for her, comfort, etc.   I’ll spell out the benefits of each one.  They are listed in no particular order.  But if you read the articles about preparing for anal that I have written and then learn these ten positions, I guarantee you that you can comfortably (and erotically!) add this very enjoyable aspect to your sex life.  

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THE REVERSE COWGIRL RUMP RIDER

He lies on his back, legs together.  She straddles him, facing away and bounces with his dong-a-long in her bonk-a-donk.

This position is great for her, not only because it lets her control how deep and fast her ass is being fucked, but also because it provides a great angle.  He’s going straight in, with a slight upward press.  Should be comfortable.

It’s a great position for him because of the view - her bulbous back pillows being split by his love meat.   

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THE SPHINCTER SPOON

The key to this spooning technique is that the girl pulls her legs up close to her chest, maybe using her arms behind her knees to hold them.  When the legs are pulled up like that, the external spincter muscle (i.e. the asshole) loosens some.   

When the guy slides in, he goes as deep as possible.  But motion is limited.  

This position is all about intimacy.   There is a ton of body contact.  He can whisper in her ear or kiss her neck.   Guys, you also can play with her nipples or even reach between her legs and rub gently.  

This is a great starter position for the first anal of the night, precisely because there isn’t much motion.   It lets her slowly relax her booty.

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THE SUPER SODOMY SIDE SLIDE

In this position, the girl lies facedown, then pulls one leg up some.  So her one leg is straight down.  With her other leg, she’s pulled her knee up close to even with her waist.  This tilts her slightly onto her side.  The guy then straddles the one leg that is straight down.  He spreads her cheeks, and slides in.   

What makes this position great for her is how relaxing it is.   He can rub her back while he’s fucking her ass.  It also doesn’t allow for very deep penetration.   

For him there are two pleasures.  First, as he pumps, his scrotum is going to be rubbing against the smooth skin on the back of her leg.  It feels amazing.  Secondly, each time he thrusts in, her one butt cheek - the one of the leg that is straight out - is going to hit him right in what is sometimes called the “inguinal canal” area, where the guy’s leg meets his torso.  The firm but soft tush pressing in there… fuck!  Feel so good!

Guys, an added little treat for her…  She she first gets in this position, get down there, slide a finger in her vajayjay, palm facing down, curling the finger slightly.  That will place your fingertip on her g-spot.  While you work the finger in and out, let your tongue press on her asshole, just causing it to spread a little.  She’ll love it.   

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THE DALLYING IN HER DERRIERE

This is a lovely, slow, lazy way to pump her rump.   You are on her side.   She is on her back, with her legs hitched over you.  She can keep them together or spread them apart, depending on what she finds more comfortable.   

This is also a very intimate position, as it allows you to see each other’s faces.   Motion is limited, as her legs hooked over him prevent him from pumping too hard.   He can play with her chest or her clit.  She can reach down and rub his balls while he fucks her.    

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THE ASS-N-CLITTY

Another variation of women-on top.  The girl straddles the guy, cowgirl style, facing him, her knees wide apart.   She puts his hotdog in her buns, then leans back, using her hands for support.   And she bounces and bounces and bounces.  

The plus for her is that she gets to control tempo and depth.   And again, it’s a great angle - straight up her dark tunnel.  

In addition, in that position her guy has clear access to her clitty-cat.   He can pet it.  Guys, in this position, I recommend using your thumb.  Lick it so it’s slick.  Then press it down on top of her clit and roll it, like a pea bring rolled under your finger.

Or you can take a finger and curl it in, making a “come here” motion.  That puts your finger on her g-spot.  Again, roll it around like a pea under your fingertip.     

For guys, not only do you have an amazing view, but it actually is a very tight fit.  With her knees apart like that, her glute muscles get pushed together.  Thus, your shaft is cradled in soft butt cheek.  Feels amazing.

True story.   I have had a girlfriend squirt all over my abs in this position while I was in her ass.  

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THE CATHOLIC BIRTH CONTROL

You wouldn’t think missionary position would be great for anal, but it really, really is.   However, you probably need to have her hips tilted up.   You can do this simply by placing a few pillows under her hips.   

This is another position aimed at intimacy.  The couple can kiss and caress even as he’s tapping her tushie.   

This position also allows for only shallow penetration, thus it’s great for a girl who, try as she might, believes she can only take the tip.  It’s also great for a guy who is well endowed, as maybe only the first two or three inches will get in.

Guys, be careful in this position.   It’s easy to slip out.  And what can really hurt a girl is when you slip out and then don’t aim carefully when you slide back in.  It forces her anus to stretch in funny ways!   No bueno.   

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THE HERO, POOTER-POUNDER STYLE

In the kamasutra, “the Hero” position is woman on her back, with her legs pulled up to the degree that her pelvis tilts up.   This can be done a variety of ways.  She can grab under he knees and pull them back.  He can grab her ankles and push them back.   The point is, her legs are in the air, spread apart, and her hips are tilted up.  This gives him a straight shot to her pooter-palace!

After six positions which were more gentle, we now get to the ones which will be a bit harder.   Thus, it requires a bit more experience.  These are anal positions you might try after you have being doing one of the first six for awhile.  So your rump is all relaxed and ready for a good ramming.  ;) 

For the girls, the fun part of this position is that as well as any of them, you have access to your sugared almond.   While your man drills your dumper, rub that thing like you are a DJ and it’s god-damned New Years Eve.  You might cum.  

Guys, you need to understand that with her hips tilted and legs spread, you could go really, really deep.  That’s great, if she says it’s great.  If not, then this is a position where you have to exercise self control and only use the first four inches or so.    

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THE DOGGY IN THE DONK

I don’t want to exaggerate here, so I’ll say it carefully.  This is the biggest fantasy of every man on earth.    There is nothing like getting a hot girl face down, ass up, and smashing her onion.   

What does this give to the guys?   The best site on earth.  When you can see your cock sliding in and out, wedged between those breathtaking cheeks… when that booty meet shakes with each thrust, a slight ripple working through each one… wow.  I have a tear in my eye just thinking about it.   

In addition to the view, if the girl has warmed up to anal and can handle it, this is the position in which the guy can go his hardest.  The angle of his cock in her ass, especially if she puts her chest down on the bed, is such that it is a very, very smooth fit.   Her rectum is in its natural position.   So he can grab her hips and pound away.

For the girl, doggystyle anal can be either heaven or purgatory.   He’s going to be deep in your ass.   But in this position, he stimulates some of the nerves that are actually located in the vaginal wall.    If a girl is going to cum during anal, this position will probably be it.  While the guy is reaming her from behind, she’ll reach down and play with her clit.   If she can cum this way, it will be so intense her back might break.   

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THE BEST LAP DANCE EVER

This is yet another woman on top position.   The man sits in a chair.  Guys, use a kitchen chair, not a big ass recliner.  It gives you more range of motion.   The woman come and sits on his lap, with his man-meat in her moneymaker.  

There are two variations to this. The woman can put her legs between his legs.  If she does this, she can put her hands on his knees and bounce.  Or the woman can put her legs outside his.   Unless she has really long legs, she might not be able to bounce as well.  But she can grind and rock.    It’s a amazing sensation when you grind in that position, ladies!  It’s like you are trying to break our cock off inside your can.   

Guys, if she goes with her legs outside yours, why not reach around  and flick her on-off switch lightly.   It’s ether that your you make it rain!  

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THE 3AM AT DANIEL’S HOUSE

This is a variation on doggystyle - doing it while standing, with the woman bent over something.  It’s one of my favorites, hence the name.  (Back off!  When you get your own blog, you can name sex positions after yourself too!)

It’s a really comfortable position for the woman.   She’s braced on a chair or couch.  She might even be able to rest on it.   A variation is if she picks up one leg and rests her knee on the object.  A good example of that is a bathroom counter.  She leans over it and puts one knee up on it while I explore her third-entry.   

It’s great for the guy for the same reason doggystyle is.  It’s a nice view.  He can grab the hips and go hard.   Because it’s a comfortable position, it’s also great for prolonged anal.   There’s no need to pound out your nut in 30 seconds.  Get her in this position and spend a good 20 minutes working her bubble over.   

This position can also be very pleasurable for the woman too.  There is a muscle cluster that starts in your lower back, runs through the glutes, and down the back of the legs to the heel.  That’s why if you walk funny in a bad shoe, it can hurt your back.  It’s the longest muscle cluster in the human body.  When a girl is bent over like this, that muscle cluster is tight.   And so as she tenses her anus slightly (which is natural to do as your ass is being fucked), she’ll feel that through her entire lower body.   And guys, if you can reach around and play with her clit and make her cum in this position, she can collapse.  The shudder it sends through her legs literally floors her.  

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And there you have it, faithful readers.   Is this every anal position I know.  Please!  I’m Daniel Fucking Davis.   This is the tip of the iceberg.   But hopefully if you like these, you can put your own spins and variances on them, and have plenty of variety to your hot, hot booty sex!

Now, if you like this, please reblog!   Cause let’s face it.  This is good advice.  

The object may not touch its cunt until the specified date.

The object must have a plug in its ass for no less than 6 hours a day.  

The object is not allowed to wear panties under any circumstances.

The object should be completely naked when it is possible.

The object must spend at least 20 minutes a day working on stretching its primary hole- its ass.

The object may not eat with cutlery at a table unless it is impossible to do otherwise. The object is expected to eat naked, with no hands from a dog bowl on the floor.

The object is only allowed to consume 1500 calories/day and must obtain permission before eating more- up to 2000 calories/day. Go to http://www.myfitnesspal.com/food/diary/katievander to check up on this.

The object may not drink anything except for water or black coffee (or piss), except for the occasional glass of wine if it has permission to indulge.

The object must exercise for 30 minutes a day, at least 4 days a week.

The object must spend at least one hour a day torturing its tits in some way- tying them up, clamping the nipples, beating them, ect.

The object must drink 2-3 liters of water a day.

The object must spend at least 30 minutes a day pumping nipples

The object must be hair free underarms and below waist (pussy, ass and legs)

The object must tape up its cunt everyday