Jemelene

Dear World, Five Years Later On the 5th anniversary of the Umpqua Community College shooting, I revisit our beautiful valley and how we have healed.

Note: Following the shooting at Umpqua Community College in Roseburg, Oregon i write a piece that was published in the News Review. This us a follow-up to the original article.

On the first day of October 2015 I was training for a new position at work. The learning curve was already steep but when a panicked volunteer burst into our office with news of an active shooter on our campus,…

Dear Friends,

Over the past few weeks we have been looking for answers to a suspicious spot found on my most recent mammogram. The pathology report came through the patient portal yesterday. The lump is not benign like we had hoped. We don’t know the next step but below you will find my thoughts on how I plan to approach cancer, specifically breast cancer.

Mama Jem’s Cancer Manifesto

Fir…

The Wildfire of Gossip (New Post at The Glorious Table) At a prayer chapel on top of a hillside in Redding, California, I sat on the grass overlooking the city just one year after a raging fire swept through, destroying everything in its path.

At a prayer chapel on top of a hillside in Redding, California, I sat on the grass overlooking the city just one year after a raging fire swept through, destroying everything in its path. The Carr Fire jumped the Sacramento River, blew through three counties, and took more than a month to contain. Over a thousand structures were destroyed. The fire started as a spark from a tire rim hitting…

The Example of Joseph (New Post: The Glorious Table)

I’m the youngest of five children, as well as the only girl. It’s often assumed that I must have been the favorite in my family, but life was more complicated than that, and it would take volumes to explain how emotional issues arose in a family with two loving, committed parents. I stopped trying to figure it out long ago. But one thing I do know: nothing I’ve experienced has been wasted. Every…

Your Feelings are Valid

I’ve picked up more of the cooking in our home lately and with that, I can tell you with all confidence that the smoke alarms throughout the house are working just fine (Ahem). Just like our feelings, they sense something but when they go off they cannot tell the difference between a dangerous fire or burnt toast. Whenever I hear the familiar beeps it’s up to me to investigate. “Is this real?”…

A few months ago, I had cataract surgery on my left eye. As soon as the anesthesia wore off, the vision in that eye began to clear. For several days afterward, I found myself alternating closing my eyes, right eye then left, amazed at the comparison. I was genuinely stunned at the difference. It was if the world had morphed from being covered by a yellow film to a landscape of vibrant hues. The…

Are You Chasing Love? (New Post at The Glorious Table)

Have you ever chased love? Like many women of my generation, I found love to be elusive, especially in my formative years. With the way society’s emphasis on finding love diverges from the church’s view, the waters were already muddy when I first dipped my toe in. The subtle message that a woman’s value lay in the marriage she eventually made was detrimental to both my emotional and spiritual…

Are You Well Rooted? (New Post at The Glorious Table)

Sitting on the deck of our home, taking in the sight of our curly willow trees, you would never know they were devastated by a freak winter storm just a few months ago. New leaves and branches are bursting out all over. In February no one would have predicted they would still be standing, let alone full of lush green leaves. One tree had already been given a poor prognosis after a strip of bark…

When Mother’s Day Hurts (New Post at The Glorious Table)

At the age of twenty-seven, I stood in a church on Mother’s Day and wept. I’d been diagnosed with a condition that made it difficult to bear children, and being a mother had been the dream of my life.

Even in elementary school, my career goals always revolved around the very young. I’ve had a mama’s heart for what seems like forever, and to be told that bearing children might not be in my future…

Who Is My Neighbor? New Post at The Glorious Table.

Several years ago, I worked in a hospital emergency room, greeting patients and families as they entered the ER. My responsibility was to see that everyone was as comfortable as possible while waiting for treatment. Just a few months into my employment, I began to know our “regulars.” These were folks whose emotional pain was deeper than the physical. Some were there to medicate their heartache…

Exchanging Anxiety for Joy (New Post at The Glorious Table) It has taken me a decade and a half to sit down and write this story but it needed to be told. It's a story of trauma and healing and hope.

Although I’ll always have blurry spots in my memory of it, the trauma that shaped me has remained crystal clear. That’s what our minds do; they jumble information from our past when it becomes too hard to carry it. In processing unfathomable experiences, however, this can help us find our way through to the other side.

The last six months of 2000 held alternating hospital visits and major…

Allowing Ourselves to Feel

As the weekend approached, I felt myself slipping into a funk that mimicked previous bouts of depression—except I couldn’t put my finger on a cause. I was sad. I was tired. I was defeated. After spending the day conquered and unmotivated, I took note of the date. It was the anniversary of my parents’ deaths. I’d been aware the day was coming up, but I wasn’t prepared for how it would affect me. I…