jem ancheta

after all this years of no communication,a message from you can still make me smile,.i wish i can still go back in time and change how i was,maybe we’re still together,maybe i wont have all this what ifs now,.its too late now,you already think that im still the same person 8yrs ago,maybe i still am or maybe now i can look into your eyes and talk to you,.if only you know why i cant even utter a word everytime you stare at me,its your eyes i always get lost in it,.i love your eyes

i miss you,.aishiteru yo

im texting everybody cause i can't concentrate when you're infront of me

i hate them all!!i fucking hate them!!i dont them to be my family,,they're notmy family!!i just want them to all die so my life will finally be fucking peaceful,.i can do whatever the fuck i want when they're not fucking around,.i fucking hate them all!!all of them!!fuck them!!they can all die for all i care!!

i asked for a sign,and i got it,.i decided that i would do it no matter what cause i wanna prove my self that i can do it,that this time i will go all the way to the end,.i thought they will be happy for me,but instead they asked me what the difference between the last time and now,.i can't answer,.then it hit me the reason why i can't is because there's no difference,i got scared the last time and im still scared now,.i just thought maybe just maybe this time when she see me all determine to do it again that she will actually support me or atleast give me encouraging words,cause thats what mothers was suppose to do,.i forgot mine is different,she's different,.she dont give encouraging words or give nice advice,she discourage you,she gives you comments like "you sure you nit just jelous of your sister thats why you wanna take this again??",.for her me repeating the CNA course over again is just me being jelous cause her favorite daughter is a state certified nursing assistant already,.its true a part of me is jealous cause i never see them that proud of my achievements even though i tried before,.they will always be proud of they're first born and never will be proud of me,. next year i decided to go back school,finish it at take the board exam ( or atleast thats what i call it ) for once in my damn life i wanna be proud of my self since no body will ever do that to me,.dont worry self,one day we will lookat the mirror and we will be proud on what we will see on the reflection 😢💔

i thought im inlove with a guy that has a wife and kids,.turns out i just love the attention that he was giving me