I know I’ve done this before.Put the cart before the horse, let my heart take control. I’m excited and scared- she COULD be the one. COULD. That thought alone is enough to flip that fight or flight routine in my head. I thought I was going to live a life of bachelorhood, floating between young pop tarts, sleeping late and taking naps. But then I meet another Megan and she’s so much like the first Megan. That’s not a bad thing, I tell her, if asked about similarities, “you’re the Megan I was meant to be with!” I spent nearly a decade with MRL, and she’s proven to be one of the only constants in my life. But I never felt for her the way I do for this Megan.... I try to talk about my marriage as positive, yet always doomed. We had built a good relationship together, but it wasn’t one I felt comfortable being in and I, in turn, made it uncomfortable for Megan to be in and for others to accept. I pushed boundaries and lowered my own self value to match the lowered expectations which had been set for me. After it was over, I missed her tenderness and the care she showed for me. Care which she still gives to this day, despite being with someone else. I wonder how she feels about me- I think it’s probably the same way I feel about her. We could have made it work, but we didn’t and we are both 100% OK with the decision we made. I want the new Meg in my life to understand that the old Meg brought the best out of me, and I’ve kept her in my life because she continues to bring the best out in me. I’ll always care for MRL, we may not have succeeded as lovers, but we were great best friends.