Slept walked back to the battlesite

Ilya, as the captain of the gayest NHL team, is asked for comment on this. Of course, this is half way through the season while the Cens are sitting first in their division and second in the league. So Ilya says, “Ah, yes, I can see how he would think that. It seems unfair that being queer is clearly such an advantage for hockey players. We are just much better players, and having so many of us on one team, while very fun and nice for us, does seem to be putting us above everyone else in the standings. Perhaps more teams could play well if they had gay players? The Admirals are okay, but they only have one and we have four, so it is not quite fair.”

There is a rampant debate online over whether Ilya actually understands that the original comments were homophobic or if he genuinely believes that people think gay guys are too good at hockey. People also start speculating about who the fourth gay player is because Luca hasn’t actually come out publicly yet.

Scott Hunter has to put out a statement that he doesn’t believe his homosexuality has had any impact, positive or negative, on his athletic ability even though he believes being out of the closet and in a fulfilling relationship has made it easier to focus on the game.

Troy posts a tweet that just says “got gayer and got better”

Shane is like, “Remember DVD players? That was fun.” The next week, Ilya comes home with a DVD player he found online and a huge collection of old discs.

They go to someone’s house, and Shane sees a Banksy piece hanging on the wall and goes, “Hey, that’s kinda neat.” Guess what gets delivered to their doorstep a couple of months later? Shane is super fucking confused—but grateful—because he doesn’t even remember mentioning it. Ilya shrugs. “Is not big deal.”

They’re driving on a familiar road, and Shane goes, “That’s a cool house. I always wondered who owns that property.” It’s you, Shane. You own it. Because Ilya is already on his phone, calling their realtor.

It gets to the point where Shane has to start specifying every time: “I like this thing—” Ilya lights up. “—BUT I'M NOT CURRENTLY LOOKING TO POSSESS ONE.”

She respects him. She thinks that he's a good king! She just thinks that he's an asshole. But that being an asshole probably helps make him a good king, because he's willing to do not-nice things in the interests of getting shit done. And Kel is a faithful servant of the crown, she's absolutely willing to do her duty, even if it literally kills her. But she's never, ever going to be a personal asset to Jon the way that, say, Alanna or even Daine are.

And the kicker is that we see a bunch of characters actually take Kel's side on this. They fully acknowledge that Kel's in the right here - Jon gets told by several people in canon that he's getting his just deserts for being an asshole. And then they rub it in by telling him about all of the people that Kel has at least a decent personal relationship with, including his heir, his daughter-in-law, and a bunch of other very important people who Jon trusts and respects. It's just Jon that she doesn't like.

And not just that, I want it to tear Ilya apart that for months he’s been getting mad and snapping at Shane for fearing this. I want him to see Shane have everything cruelly ripped away while knowing the biggest fight they ever had was Ilya being mad about how afraid Shane was of this and how much he wanted to avoid it, especially with how supportive Ilya’s coach and team are in comparison

Of course Ilya didn’t think it would be so bad, his whole team is behind him as well as his coach

But Shane has his team immediately turn against him, his coach acts furious and disgusted with him, and the immediate punishment is that Shane Hollander, who lives and breathes hockey, who sees his entire identity and worth as a person being his skill in hockey, is told he is indefinitely barred from playing

This man has been told from day one that he has to be perfect, that he cannot ever fuck up, that he cannot be anything less than what is demanded of him every second of the day. And as soon as he’s not what he should be he takes a fucking sledgehammer to the chest made of every fear he ever had made real

This needs to be the thing that finally shatters him and makes him actually cry and stop holding everything in. I don’t want Shane sighing over the phone to show he’s upset, I need this to be viscerally heart breaking and soul crushing for Shane

It is very important to me that Shane was bone deep terrified of this and he was right.

And I want Ilya to sit there helplessly with every comment of “I think it would be fine, I think you’re the one with the problem” playing in his head. I want to see hockey homophobia manifest physically into human form and rip Shane’s heart from his chest while Ilya has to stand there and watch it happen

This is not anti Ilya, I love him, but I want this moment to be for him what it was for Shane to realize all Ilya had sacrificed to move to Ottawa. I want them to both have a moment where they’re horrified by what they’ve asked of the other while acting like it was nothing

Shane rolls his eyes and maybe his ears turn a little pink. “The bottom of the lake is gross,” he explains. “Rocks, mud, sticks; you should wear shoes.”

And Ilya, who is used to muscling through most things is weirdly touched by the concern but the shoes are so fucking ugly. “You wear these all the time?” he asks, absolutely delighted.

“Fine, deal with the bottom of the lake—”

“No no,” Ilya says, snatching the shoes. He maybe does it a little too quick, and gets embarrassed, himself. “Was just a question Hollander, jesus.”

They fit Ilya well, but Shane refuses to put his on before he needs to.

“You have extra ugly shoes for guests?” Ilya teases. “Just in case?”

“Those are mine,” he shrugs. “I’m gonna wear my dad’s.”

Which is even more confusingly touching. Ilya and Shane walk down to the water together, Shane with a tote bag of snacks, sunscreen, a soft cooler of drinks, and a stack of two towels. Ilya is utterly charmed by the entire thing. “Gimme something to carry.”

“No, watch where you’re fucking going.”

“Shane.”

“Ilya.”

They get set up on the dock and things quickly devolve from playful conversation to more serious teasing to trying to push each other into the water. Regrettably—or not so regrettably—they end up tumbling in together.

“I beat you,” Ilya taunts when he resurfaces.

Shane shakes water out of his hair. “We fell in at the same time, asshole.”

“Ah, but you were—AH!” Something touches Ilya legs. He nearly jumps out of his skin. “What the fuck!”

“Probably a fish,” Shane shrugs. He’s doing that thing, where he’s smiling but not actually smiling. “Or a plant.” He pauses. “Probably not the snapping turtle, but it’s around somewhere. It’ll bite your dick which is why we can’t skinny dip.”

Ilya looks at him. “There is a turtle that bites dicks??” He not so subtly drifts closer to Shane, gets an arm around his waist and tugs him in. “Where have you brought me?” He teases.

Shane does grin, now. “How’re you liking those water shoes?”

“Yes, fine, they are very good.” Ilya presses a kiss to Shane’s mouth. Then another, then another.

suddenly, shane is in proper black and white formal for the first time ever, a designer suit jacket with a little point to the shoulder that makes him look all sensual and broad. accessories keep making their way in. a snakeskin belt, a loafer that doesn't look like it's from 2005, a signet ring. and of course, ilya always ties the rolex in, wear the one with the emerald face, i'll put you in a matching sock and maybe some gemstone cuff-links. his casuals remain casual, but every once in awhile he sneaks in a pair of impeccably tailored $800 jeans, or a vintage acid wash muscle tee ilya had to fight tooth and nail for on ebay. he puts his baby in cashmere sweaters that would make princess diana cry.

and people notice. of course they notice. there are theories, who is the stylist, is it a social media stunt, a new sponsorship everything their influence. and yes, a part of him is resentful he can't claim credit, but when shane asks him once, while ilya delicately folds his silk pocket square, why do you do this for me? ilya runs a hand over his dress shirt, groping at his pecs, and says, they all wonder why you look so pretty. is because i want my boyfriend to look pretty for me. they wonder, and i know. i know it's for me. it isn't for you, malysh. is for me.

Like, if Shane is on that level, his backhand has to at least be really good. But from what I can gather about the character, I’d bet it’s actually a damn good backhand that Ilya has chosen to pick on because it cannot be taken wrong when he makes stupid jokes about it, because Shane knows how much work he puts into his skills, and Shane knows he’s got a good backhand.

It’s the same as saying he’s a slow skater, even with records and races proving that he’s actually one of the fastest skaters, if not the actual fastest skater in the league.

I thought everyone done knew about how athletes make fun of their friends, but I guess not. The thing is, they’re playing. From the first word, they’ve been playing, poking fun at each other, gauging how good of a sport the other is, how good at sport the other is.

They know.

So they also know what they can joke about and not accidentally hit where it hurts, because the intent is play.

They’re playing.

They’ve been alone in their league of skill for a long time, but now there’s a friend who gets it, and they can play.

WIP

just the saddest most pathetic lost puppy vibes. bonded pair do not separate has been forced to separate. yeah they're going to be here and do their job and play like a champ, but you bet your ass they're gonna be a little wet cat pathetic about it. their favorite person in the world isn't even here. what's the POINT.