for me to hold

but there are things I need to do on my own

first

How do you balance between the hysteria and the day-to-day? How do you properly feel both relief and pain. What is the accepted human emotion while I’m indoors swiping my thumb in an upwards motion, shoulders shaking at the satire, while others are shaking in tears, gasping for air— “Today, we hit a new record high, 2,000 has died.”— turn it off, shut it out. Just don’t watch. But wait, the sky is bluer. So and so just donated. You can sew your own masks, provide your own free meals, give. So and so just donated. “Students, I’m sorry to inform you that your graduation ceremony has been cancelled.” That’s alright. We don’t have enough ventilators so “younger” people take priority. So and so’s mom just got laid off, did you hear? “You know, some families can’t even afford groceries.” You should feel lucky because—“Today, we hit a new record high.” Didn’t they say that yesterday? How can you be laughing at jokes, why don’t you care? I do care. “New York just postponed their state bar indefinitely until Fall.” That’s when we looked forward to being licensed. All our effort.. “Today, we hit a new record high.” People are out there risking their lives, what are you doing? Scrolling. What is the accepted human emotion? 

Breathe. 

for me to hold

but there are things I need to do on my own

first