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Today i woke up with the intentions of love 

as always 

as one does 

for the one time i awake with hate 

It’s  difficult for lack of a thesaurus having any feelings or emotions understanding they don’t mean anything. 

To this one or this particular situation, or these situations. I used to love to create, express, write, and believe that is what i was meant to be doing here in this existence.

The first time ever facing the idea that is not true has been one that is physically demanding, physically changing. In my mind i can race the race all day and still come up to the conclusion of “Hey, this is what you are supposed to do but you cant’t any more soo...” 

How in the past recent months of i suppose up until last may up until now (Grammar for the win) 

I have reason to believe I will never fallout of where i am rather continue on the best i can. 

Matter of a fact i am positive.

How is one simply supposed to move on from love or a bond that was written for life. The way i see it i have two options, pretend to be happy and doing what the rest of my life is. Or drown and see whats next early.