Random Things (I block haters) Occasional vent blog Song Witch

I finally got out of the bomb shelter I'm in a safe place

Bought them today @lokimymuse @rynfinity @stoneserafina @malicemismanager @befreebehappya012 @incredifishface @thisdorkyblogthing

I don't think this is funny at all but I wanted to post this here incase someone here did think this was funny

I didn't go to the holiday dinner and I feel rotten and mocked and awful and drained I hate this so much and tomorrow horrible so called family is coming over for lunch what a nightmare! someone get me out of here!

I'm not good I'm crying and feeling on edge I have a minus in my bank account but I know it will sort itself out because my benefit is coming and I blocked in app purchases on game apps because they were draining me and so called mother she asked me if I'm coming tomorrow to holiday eve dinner and I said I don't know and I'm crying now because I'm feeling way too much pressure and I don't know what to do help me!! someone help me and get me out of here!!

I wanted to wish you a happy birthday and to tell you that I'm so glad we met, you are a lovely person and you are funny and fun and sweet and kind and you are creative and I wish you all the best and wish for you all the happiness and health in the world and may you look back on all your birthdays and smile and may you be happy and I wish you to have success and to keep being creative and to keep writing and drawing and just keep being you, happy birthday!

I am stressed out and my jaw hurts and I have and allergy cold and it doesn't matter that I aired out my room or cleaned the ac's filter I still had to vacuum my room and have awful sneezing fits, this isn't fun and I am drained and feeling really awful and everyday I am being told to my face just how unwanted I am so I'm not doing well.

For those of you who may be wondering it is cease fire here and I am not in a place where there still sirens and alerts that is only happening right now in the north side of this hell hole place and people there are in a horrible state I won't go into it but it's not human, and I used to hear sirens and missile interception sounds and that's it, there has been shrapnel found here but that is it, no house or building has been hit directly, so I am safe in those terms just wanted you all to know. @rynfinity @lokimymuse @stoneserafina @malicemismanager @incredifishface @befreebehappya012

And I feel so violated and I hate her so much for doing this to me, she never wanted me anyways and she even said today after I joke about her making faces that I go to another mother, I mean this bitch had a smug look on her face and she is always laugh at me and when I call her out on it she says I'm not laughing at you I am laughing with you, you make me laugh, she's a liar and when I tell her you don't say it enough she says yes I do that's not true and I say no you don't and then she says she'll "try" and say it more often and she doesn't, someone please get me the hell out of here, please get me out of here!!

And so called mother made fun of my anxiety all because I said that I don't want to see myself as someone who left Egypt she said forget Egypt you barely get out of your room and she thought I would laugh at that and it's not funny at all and I always remember the hard way with them not to show myself to keep it all hidden and she very aggressively said she was sorry, these people are evil and I am cursed.

There was a siren yesterday and all that so called horrid other sister could think about was that it interrupted her in the middle of an Arabic lesson, it's for her university studies, and then when it stopped she just couldn't wait to tell me to go away, she's always doing that to me trying to shoo me away and lately it just feels even worse, and I hate her for it and I hate them for confirming to me what I knew deep down.

There were 2 sirens today one after the other I was laughed at for being bothered by it all of them so called family they laugh at me and call my feelings and my dreams bullshit, and this war I just want it to be over and I'm trying to distract myself and not watch too much news and it's hard I feel like I can't escape this war, I have wars in my dreams too fights about things getting told I fucked up, and having a wound that peels and there's nothing there but a black void, this sucks so much.