rp things; by jay

aka shit i’ve said while half asleep

‘ i have to take care of my eyeballs. they’re the only ones i’ve got. ’

‘ i don’t understand any of what’s happening — but sounds lit ! ’

‘ don’t let the virgos become friends - that’s a recipe for disaster. ’

‘ just let your lizard brain win for once. ’

‘ what if i just... fell asleep.. right now. how sexy would that be ? ’

‘ so the pharmacist ... is my neighbor ? who the hell could’ve guessed that. ’

‘ hey guess what ? fuck off ! love you, bye. ’

‘ go take a shower, stinky. ’

‘ ma’am, this is not a wendy’s drive through, but that doesn’t mean you can do that. ’

‘ i don’t have NEARLY enough of a self preservation instinct for that. ’

‘ we better not be expecting anymore uninvited, eight-legged guests. ’

‘ i’m worried. i’m very VERY worried. i’m very very VERY worried. ’

‘ ma’am. miss ?? uh, madam? HEY LADY ! ’

‘ ( violent inhale ) - no. ’

‘ my dog won’t stop licking my knee. does she know something i don’t — ? ’

‘ who told james cameron we wanted FOUR more avatar movies ? because that was a questionable decision at best. ’

‘ what the hap fuck— nope. ’

‘ our island is slowly being swallowed by flowers, but i regret nothing. ’

‘ if i close my eyes, i cant see anything. ’