JASPER BRICE

Max was studying his best friend’s face closely, remembering stories of scars and incidents that had happened but frowning at the new bruises and bumps. They didn’t belong. He was lost in his thoughts that he barely felt the other’s fingers curling around his hand and squeezing. But he felt that. Boy, did he feel that. A jolt raced through his skin and he glanced from his hand to Jasper’s face in shock as the injured boy spoke. “Jasper? Jasper! I’m right here bro, you’re good.”

It took all of his energy to pry his eyes open then at the sound of his name, and the pressure returned against his hand, notifying him that he wasn’t alone. But when his eyes opened, his mind instantly went into a state of sheer panic. His eyes bounced around the room, wild and filled with a mixture of fear and confusion. The blinding lights, the blurry images of a room that was not his own. The itchy feeling of the sheets rubbing against his legs, and the throbbing rushing throughout his head. “Wh––” He couldn’t speak at first, his throat still feeling like knives were being shoved down it with each movement of his vocal chords. “Where––Where..” He wanted to ask where he was, but he couldn’t form the sentence. His tongue felt thick in his mouth, which was filled with the dryness of cotton. Eyes finally landing to the boy beside him, tears rushed to his eyes without his permission. “M––Max?” The name felt right, but the image felt foreign. Why did he look so different? His hair shorter, his face aged. The panic only swelled in his chest. 

Max blinked back the burning sensation in the corner his eyes at his friend’s lack of response to their typical awful, yet endearing banter. It had really happened. His best friend was in a car accident and was lying here, unresponsive and broken. Stepping farther into the room, he stuffed his hands into the pockets of his sweatshirt. “Jasper….the joke’s over okay? We had a plan. High school, graduation, college….we were supposed to do them together. I mean, I know l screwed it up with the whole extra year before graduation but..” he trailed off, his voice catching and he swore in Spanish a couple of times before he could get the rest of it out. “Just wake up. I know I’m supposed to have it all together but hell, I don’t have anything with out you, you idiot. You can even punch me again when you wake up if it’ll help, just wake the fuck up man. There’s too many people that can’t lose you.”

Jasper’s fingers curled, unbeknownst to Max, who’s gaze was on the sleeping boys face, but they did, they moved. And Jasper felt as though he was waking up from the biggest hangover of his life. Pain shot through his head, his body ached, and his mouth filled with cotton. The worst part was it felt like someone was sitting on his throat, not allowing him to breathe or even speak. But slowly that faded away, almost like he was peeling off tape from his mouth. His fingers brushed against something. Something warm, and leather like. Skin––A hand. Where was he? He needed help. He couldn’t open his eyes. Feeling the light from wherever he was already blinding him without even sliding back his eyelids. “Helm..” He tried again, this time gripping onto the hand beside his own, and squeezing it with the amount of strength he could muster. “Help..” Breathing out this time, he squeezed the hand tighter, pulling it up to his chest which was beginning to rise and fall roughly. “Help..m..” He repeated again, only this time his words more slurred.

It was amazing how one’s world could come tumbling down with a simple sentence. Should I know you? Probably, considering all the time they’d spent together… all the words they’d exchanged, all the touches they’d shared, and the fact that he held her heart as if it were his own. But in that moment, none of that seemed to matter; because she would never blame him for any of this… it wasn’t his fault. And although it utterly wrecked her that he couldn’t remember any of it, she was more concerned with how terrified he looked as he gazed up at her with vacant eyes, wanting to smooth the crease between his eyebrows with her thumb, wanting to press her lips to his own until he was responding, until he’d calmed down. But she knew that wouldn’t work this time, like it had so many times before. Because Jasper… wasn’t Jasper. 

Jasper’s heart stopped in his chest for the second time over the last 48 hours, as he looked up at the quivering girl in front of him. She may not notice it, but he did. The way her hands shook slightly at her side, the way her breaths were short with the promise of sobs. But he noticed it, mainly because he felt his own breaths grow quick within his chest. Like a cool chill had rushed over his body, and taken over. “G––” His breath failed him again, and he had to inhale deeply before speaking. “Girlfriend?” He could only stare at her. Because 50% of his brain felt nothing but confusion. Whilst the other 50% felt an overpowering sense of guilt. Girlfriend. He’d had a girlfriend? Parents who he didn’t recognize. And a Girlfriend. The word repeated in his head over and over and over. Girlfriend. Girlfriend. Girlfriend. And yet not a single flash of an image popped up. Not a single memory of the blonde haired, blue eyed girl, breaking down in front of him. The anxiety swelled, and he felt himself attempting to sit up to allow his lungs more room to breathe. “I can’t––Why can’t I remember you?” He was scared. Fucking terrified. He’d been told he’d been in an accident, but bad was it exactly? And where the fuck were his parents. The anxiety was blending into plain frustration. “S––Sorry, I just don’t understand what’s going on. I need someone to tell me what’s going on..I mean––Wh..” His breathing grew more shaky, his eyes blinking without his consent. Girlfriend. Parents. No Parents. Head. Accident. With each thought his breathing picked up speed. “I can’t breathe..I can’t breathe..” He was prone to panic attacks. But he didn’t know that. How could he know that? He didn’t know anything. Hand touching his chest, he swayed in bed. “––I can’t––”

Grace had just seen him. She had just seen Jasper not that long ago. He had commented on her new haircut and told her all about his life as a college student. It all felt so surreal. He couldn’t have been in an accident. This all just had to be some sort of bad dream. But deep down, Grace knew it was far from a dream; and that realization was causing her anxiety to skyrocket. She knew she just had to focus on the now, otherwise she’d make herself sick. She tried to focus on the words Mrs. Brice was saying; but it all still sounded so far away. Still trembling, she buried her face in the older woman’s shoulder. “H-He’s st-strong…” She choked out, needing to convince herself of Jasper’s strength. He’d be okay. He had to be okay…

Max swallowed back the lump that had formed in his throat the moment he saw his best friend’s mom, his second mom pretty much, nodding as he did his best to hold it together for her. As much as he wanted to be able to let his worry and concern show he knew he needed to hold himself together. He needed to be the one in control. When nothing was going right, he needed to at least look like he had it all together. He glanced from the receptionist back to the blonde women in front of him before nodding numbly into her hands on his cheeks. “O-okay..”

It’s like you’re dreaming. At first. Because whatever this is, this pale, empty void ahead of him, isn’t something he’s ever seen before. It’s like no matter where he turns all there is, is blank. This must be a nightmare. Because either he’s gone blind, or he’s nothing. Both are two very large fears of his. To be nothing. To cease to exist. Wake up, Jasper. You’re only dreaming. He grips his head, pulling at his hair as he always does when he’s stressed. But he instantly hisses as a pain shoots through out his head. Ripping his hand away, his eyes grow wide at the sight of blood coating his fingers. “What the hell..” He whispers, but suddenly there’s tires screeching, and he whips around just as it crashes. Except there’s no car, only blankness. His chest is heaving as he stares at where the car should be. He’d just heard it. “This isn’t possible..” Wake up, Jasper. He shakes his head, hoping to get some reaction. But it’s not until the sound of a voice, a voice he knows, echoes throughout his mind. “You fuckhead, I was supposed to be the accident prone one.” Jasper rushes forward. “Max!?” he shouts, his voice repeating afterwards. “Max, where are you!?” Nothing. “This is just a dream.. Wake up Jasper. C’mon, Wake up.” He runs his hands over his face, even though they’re bloodied, and his head hurts, and GOD, WHY DOES HIS HEAD HURT!? “WAKE UP!!” he finally screams..

It were as if the world fell silent around them as Jasper’s eyes skipped frantically around the room, the only sound to be heard being the rapid beeping of the heart monitor as his clear confusion had everyone starting in panic, the doctor included. He didn’t remember his own parents…? But how— Elizabeth had told her that he was in poor condition— But she’d never imagined this. She hadn’t prepared herself for the violent lurch her stomach gave as the other’s gaze fell on her hesitating in the doorway, eyes that were once filled with love and adoration now empty and terrified, looking at her as if she were nothing more than a stranger.  MJ kept silent however, mostly for her own sanity, as she attempted not to break out into a fresh set of tears, lip wobbling as she carefully tucked her hair behind her ear to distract herself. Breathe, she chanted in her head over and over until her lungs were forcing themselves to obey, the look on Elizabeth’s face making it difficult to stay together. Maybe… maybe it wasn’t all that bad; maybe he just had a case of amnesia at the most. It made sense considering the crash and the possible head injury— But she prayed that it wasn’t more serious. Prayed that she’d get the love of her life back eventually. Watching then as the doctor gave his parents a serious look, asking them to step out into the hall so that they could speak privately, MJ felt herself begin to panic, the potential of being left along with Jasper– Who most likely hadn’t the slightest idea who she was– leaving her feeling as if someone had doused her in cold water. Elizabeth squeezed her hand on the way out, shooting her son one last look before the three disappeared out the door, leaving her and her boyfriend alone for the first time since he’d woke up. 

Jasper didn’t understand what was going on. Who were these people? Where were his parents? Not that he’d expected them to come at a time like this. When had they ever really cared about his well being. But either way––he’d wanted them there. He needed them there. How had he been in an accident, that his parents weren’t notified about? His head hurt now, not from the injury, but from the amount of thoughts that were ramming throughout his skull. What the hell was this? Catching the gaze of the doctor as he led the woman and man out of the room, he frowned. They were leaving, leaving to talk about him? Why would the doctor talk to those people about..about him. His gaze followed them until the door was shut, and his view was no longer accessible to him. Sighing, he blinked, looking down at his hands once more. There was so many tattoos. When had he gotten tattoos? Oh, god, Jasper. This is bad. Was all he could think. Something was really wrong with him. How could he not remember all of these things, unless something was wrong? Hesitantly, he lifted his hand, placing his fingers along the bandage covering his forehead and some of his hair. His fingers trembled, and froze upon the damp spot where he only assumed he was still partially bleeding. This wasn’t real. This can’t be real. He was dreaming––The girl. The girl’s voice was what pulled him back. It was soft, and weak. Almost like she was afraid to speak. His hand lowered, and he looked up at her with caution. “Hi?” It had come out as a question, because it was. A question as to her identity. Who she was, and why she’d stayed in the room.

Dear god, had this been what it felt like? It hadn’t even been year since his own accident and he thought the pain he had woken up to was the worst he would ever experience, but this was so much worse. It was hard to explain how, but it just seemed to cut so much deeper than any physical pain could and he couldn’t believe that he himself had put people through this once. It was terrible. When he had gotten the news, his legs almost gave out and Chloe had given him a ride to the hospital because she saw by the look on Max’s face that he couldn’t make it alone. He barely heard her as she went to park the car and he walked numbly to the counter to ask where his best friend was. What he did hear was the woman repeatedly telling him they weren’t blood and he couldn’t go back there. What did she know? They were more blood than Jasper’s own biological parents were and in Max’s mind, that was obvious. So the desperate argument ensued and If someone told him to just take a seat in that damn waiting room, he was going to go loco. Finally Mrs. Brice appeared and and he felt the kind of relief only a mother can bring. The feeling that everything is going to be okay because mom is there.

Staring into the eyes of Max only pained Elizabeth more. Because in his eyes she saw her son. And in her son she saw Max. It was the same. They were the same. They were one since they were younger. When Elizabeth and her husband had first brought Jasper home, and were struggling to gain his trust and his love, Max had been the glue. He’d come into their lives, and helped Jasper. In return helping the transition go much easier for the new parents. It had been tough, but they’d gotten through it. Because of the shaking boy standing right in front of her. She just wished she could go back. Even if her son was okay, even if this was going to just be another bad thing they got through, it didn’t make it any easier. It didn’t make it any less painful. If anything it just made it worse. Especially, because this time she knew, deep within her, that even Max showing up, wouldn’t fix this. Not this time. No, this time, they had to figure out a way to deal with this on their own. And until that happened, she had this. This moment, of tearful gazes, and trembling limbs. “I know,” She whispered. “He is––You’re his brother, which is why I’m going to handle it. Okay?” Eyes glancing at the spilling cup in his hands, she licked her lips, a tear falling down her cheek. “Here, my love, why don’t you give me this,” Her hands gently took the cup of coffee from Max’s hands. “––And you can.. you can go in, and see him. He’s not awake, the doctors said they’re going to allow him to wake up naturally just to give the brain some time to rest..But, he can still hear us apparently, and that’s what’s important. So.” Giving his face a loving hold, she finally stepped aside from him, “I’ll just go find his dad, you go on in. Take your time.”

For Grace, this whole thing was seriously a major case of deja vu. First, she had to go through getting the call that her little sister had been in a car accident. Then, there was going through Max’s whole motorcycle accident. She couldn’t take any more heartache. But when her phone rang and she saw a somewhat unfamiliar number on the caller i.d., she knew something had to be up. She was far from prepared for the words she heard Jasper’s mother say. First Lina. Then Max. Now Jasper. She thought, unable to speak or even process what she had just heard. Oh God, he’s gotta be okay… Never one to handle stress well, Grace was instantly turned into an emotional and anxious wreck.

Elizabeth didn’t know much about the young Demico girl, if not for the fact that she’d been apart of her son's life almost as long as he’d known Max. Granted, she hadn’t really come over until recently, but still it was something that swelled in Elizabeth’s heart every time someone cared for her son. She felt a sort of responsibility to care for those people in return. Hence the feeling like half the time she had multiple other children aside from just Jasper. Grace, being one very close to her heart. She could remember days seeing the three kids running around, with an naive happiness only children could have. It made her heart sink into her stomach thinking of the irony that they were now standing in this moment. Like a mirror looking back at the other side. Simplier times no longer available to them. Nobody had the luxury of remaining naive, not anymore.