jantzie

Until I know specifically which bugs burrow into your skin like on the Mummy I’ll pass on the touching thank you very much, mister backyard birthday party bug guy

Seeking someone who’s kind, loyal, doesn’t talk too much, great hair, great smile, really excited to eat, licks me all over... *gets dog*

Seeking someone who’s kind, loyal, doesn’t talk to much, great hair, great smile, really excited to eat, licks me all over... *gets dog*

Me on the right on Tuesday after the long weekend Me on the left on Friday morning https://t.co/CrWh9pQZI4

Oh, you like birds? Name every bird you’ve ever seen.

My favorite show is on: Mulberries (it’s slow but ultimately quite satisfying) https://t.co/2l5JM2hmDi

Follow up: I went with @inside_weather https://t.co/MGW7p3OI6Y

I tore up my birth certificate yet I haven’t faded away, what gives?

20s: Stretching is boring! 30s: Attends weekly yoga class 40s: Not moved for five minutes? Seizes up like the tin man

Gravy sauce: redundant https://t.co/Np82LNP7qg

Rose bush or extra slow land shark? Discuss.

The high I'm forever chasing is the first time I slid on the safety patrol sash at Truman Elementary

I’m leaning towards reverse yarmulke

Is it a visor or is it chaps for your head? Discuss.

People. It was Tuesday night. Oye vey! (I'll report back tonight)

Is Wednesday night the new mid-week weekend preview? Or did I just level-up? 🍹 https://t.co/srnOUYMaJs

This sugarhouse/pizzahouse /condohouse bungalow or wtfever is so small the only door in the house not shown in that photo is the front door, hand to god (this is all going in the listing someday)