jank a'dank's janky dank (and poetry... and stuff)

I don't know if this is what Tumblr is for

( in fact, I know it's not, at least not all it's for)

But I know this feels "okay,"

And that's pretty important.

As long as I can arrange in "poetry,"

Intrigue you with my worthless "literacy,"

It's okay to vent.

I don't mean this as an insult.

Just in a bad place right now.

But what this is,

It's beautiful.

Nobody will probably notice, but somebody might

Notice that the format in this is all fucked up

Because I wrote this in mobile

And just relieved it from my soul

Take a deep breath, let it move through you, cascade through your diaphragm like sea foam washing against the shore, or currents, violent, exploding from the rocks.

Now pause. Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in agai- Breathe out. Breathe in.

Scream.

Take a deep breath...

Order is disorder.

Like a zero drowning in a sea of higher numbers, Everything you say to me is dumb, or at least it’s stupid.

Like a zero drowning in a sea of higher numbers, I remain as ever intrigued, but no more astounded.

Like a zero drowning in a sea of higher numbers, I think I like you better, when you just ignore me.

Like a zero drowning in a sea of higher numbers, You want ego, I’ll show you ego.

It was over before you ended it. Or at least I figured as much. I couldn’t trust you. Your words simply didn’t make sense unless you were trying to manipulate me. I could watch as you wouldn’t follow your own advice, and you were moving on, being happy.

I had hoped we could be friends, but that wasn’t in the cards. You needed a colleague or an acquaintance. There were too many contradictions for me to believe in you as a friend. Too many compliments that had to be asked for. Too many pep talks that encouraged nothing. Too many apologies for false absences.

Is an easy goal to achieve

But you'd think at least one friend

Could actually back up their claim

And prove that it can get better

Instead of walking away and

Leaving me on my own.

Death of one beginning beget a new beginning. A home was lost, a solace broken. A beginning crafted through miserable apocalypse. Back to reality.

A room with the same dimensions as a jail cell. Three roommates. One has been stealing stuff. Nobody knows who it is. The new guy is impartial, they probably figure. They’re all giving me their alibis and their suspects. Trying to get me on their side. It’s probably the guy right next to me who happens to have access to a lot of my shit. I think I just heard him snorting coke and buggin’ out in his room.

Hopefully, You understand that you can’t understand. Because you simply can’t understand. Your world’s falling apart and you’re pulling away. My world’s falling apart and I’m asking for help.

Annihilate the sense of perception, Annihilate the standards of heaven, Annihilate the habits I came with, Annihilate self hate.

Annihilate self hate Annihilate/self hate Anni/self hate A/self hate

Cracks.

Pops.

Cinders snap their chthonic song,

While dunes of smoke bloom into roses.

Soot washes against the skin,

Like sand from the ghost of an ocean.

Ochre tongues lap with hunger at the rocks,

Laid in circuitous ritual.

Dreams of nostalgia float away in the sky,

Lifted by the currents of speech and laughter.

As the heart dies, blackened and charred,

The sweet scent of birth permeates the air.

Caves of wonder say their goodbyes,

By wishing us well towards far-away lands.

Cracks.