J. Monroe

King of pain Can you cry Did you, too, feel Your spirits die I lost my colors In a tarnished sky

King of pain, Can you feel May I see the scars You can’t heal Or am I too soft To your heart of steel

King of pain, What’s in your head Were you there When metal meets red Will my tragedy Leave me dead

King of pain, Do you see me Does my shadow Fit your gold decree Or will you lay me to Drown in the Black Sea

King of pain, Am I here? Can I drive without Your hands to steer Will you let me Love despite fear

King of pain Let me speak. Can you believe Your hurt isn’t the peak Or is it really my Obedience you seek

You never knew me How all I wanted was To see who you are But you’re gone now And the lavender wilted Replaced by fake sunflowers

You’ll never know me now You’ll never know how My favorite season is fall That my favorite color is red That I’m a dreamer and a poet, A con artist and a masochist

You’ll never know that Roses are my favorite I love the smell of sweet florals And my daughters name Will be Connie, Short for Constance.

You’ll never know why I laugh in the rain Or why I cry in the dark Why I live for music And how I can’t drink coffee, I’ll take tea with honey

You’ll never know why I loved you, How I was dazzled by you Why I couldn’t tell you And that they sewed My heart to my gun

You never knew me How all I ever wanted was To see who you are But im gone now And the lavender wilted Replaced by fake sunflowers

And now it’s too late.

White dove, fly high Carry me beyond the sky

White dove, sing on I dance to your song

White dove, pure as snow May I reflect you glow

White dove, all your beauty I devote to you so truly 

White dove and your power Let me grow and flower

White dove, brave as the ocean I shall continue despite emotion

White dove, as with all in your lineage May I glitter forever in your image

-J. Monroe

My biggest fear in life is being bit by a snake

When I look for snakes, I look for the fangs sharp as a knife edge but cats have fangs too when I look for cats, I still look for snakes

When I listen for snakes, I listen for the hiss Like pin pricks to my ears but leaves in the wind hiss too when I listen for leaves, I still listen for snakes

When I feel for snakes, I feel for the cold blood numbing as frosted metal but frogs are cold blooded too when I feel for frogs, I still feel for snakes

When I see snakes, I see their power over me like strings around my neck but you have power over me too when I see you, I still see snakes

My biggest fear in life is that you’re a snake

-J. Monroe

I didn't laugh at my brothers childish absurdities tonight

Instead, I stay up writing. Grasping.

Trying to make sense of the never slowing tide I call my brain

I keep thinking about you;

Your fishing boat never sank

How I'll never forget you

But you and the other women will never

Know me

Know me

Who knows me?

Ocean. The ocean does.

You never have.

You are deaf to my whispered history;

Never ending quarrels in pink.

I am the storm and the water

I am the sea shell and Poseidon's daughter

I swim and I scream and I waltz

The sun and the moon

Not just the girl you deemed a mistake

But a woman and a ribbon and half written poetry

I am what you never understood

Ocean

I am ocean

- J. Monroe