A L E X I A™

I had a dream about him the other night. It caught me off guard because he hasn’t really crossed my mind in months. How we met and everything that happened after never really made sense. It was one chance encounter then random little moments that I never saw coming. When it ended the first time around, months later we found a way back into each other’s lives. And again, it ended just as quickly as it started. This was the last person I actually took seriously and when we were together, I was happy. Except it never worked, things ended badly and that was it. But here we are again, months later - civil and polite, acknowledging the other person exists. There aren’t any lingering feelings or hopes of future chances, but I can’t help but wonder if there’s a reason I met him that random night at the bar - and why things eventually somehow find a way back around to him.

Avoid people who mess with your head. Avoid people who intentionally and repeatedly do and say things that they know upset you. Avoid people who expect you to prioritize them but refuse to prioritize you. Avoid people who can’t and won’t apologize sincerely. Avoid. Avoid.

I’d say not to give up, as cliché as that is. And as much as there are things out there to help, it’s like addiction where you really need to want to change what’s going on. Until then just mange everything as best you can. Depression becomes like a shadow following you everywhere and you end up becoming comfortable with it and it can make it harder to overcome. Once you realize you want to change and be a happy person, it makes everything seem easier.

How do you move on? You move on when your heart finally understands that there is no turning back.