the jam man

Posie glanced down at her costume momentarily before her gaze flickered back upward to meet James’. “I’m the Snow Queen of course.” It was stated as if it was fairly obvious but maybe she was naive to believe everyone would trace back the origin of her costume to the original tale rather than the Disney movie. “Are you telling me there’s a Disney movie with a queen who froze over her land? Doesn’t sound like their typical happily ever after garbage to me.”

“Right, of course,” echoed James with a small smile. He understood now, but he could reason why everyone else didn’t exactly make the same connection. He commended her, however, for the originality, even if it wasn’t a conscious decision. It was refreshing. “The Disney movie is based off of the Snow Queen,” he explained. “And don’t worry, they completely water it down. Everyone rejoices at the end and accept Elsa for who she is."

“Very,” he said with a curt nod. “Look them up sometime.” Leonard loved talking about music, and yet his words were coated in venom. Even his latest obsession wasn’t enough to keep his mind off of Alice’s actions in that moment. Then, his curiosity and angry confusion got the better of him and he had to speak. “Leonard Hall. That name rings no bells for you? At all?”

“I’ll make sure to,” said James politely, meaning it although he had a feeling he might forget to if he took too long. He didn’t mention this however, beginning to unsheathe his wand from his robes before Leonard’s tone grew icy, catching the Ravenclaw off-guard. “Um. . . I’ve seen you around but. . . I don’t think I ever got your name, sorry. Or at least I don’t remember it. Sorry again.”

Now Leonard was hurt, seeing as James didn’t connect any dots when he introduced himself. Alice didn’t even give enough of a shit about him to tell James who he was? If they were dating now, and friends before, wouldn’t Leonard have come up in conversation? At least once? She must’ve really not cared whatsoever. That was a twist in the knife that Leonard didn’t even know was there. “The Score,” he explained, doing his best, and failing, to sound civil. “You heard of them?”

He nodded along until he’d heard the name of the band, to which he shook his head. “Sorry, I haven’t. Are they good?” James displayed his materials on the table and began to sort through what he would need to begin with. He hadn’t exactly hooked onto the strain in Leonard’s tone. If he hadn’t come to the Great Hall for his metalwork, perhaps he would have caught on, but alas he remained blissfully ignorant.

Leonard was cautious, to say the least. He had no idea how much Alice had told her new boy toy about him, and from her skewed perspective, James might think Leonard was the one who was in the wrong. He decided it would be riskier to give him a fake name than to just see how much this guy knew. He took the Ravenclaw’s hand and shook it once. “Yeah, I know. Leonard, or Leo, or whatever.”

James felt curiosity begin to take shape, though he wasn’t positive as to why, finding it a bit out of place, inappropriate even. But he didn’t inquire Leonard about his curtness. Some people were raised or born to be short with others, and it wasn’t as if it affected the Ravenclaw’s day. “Oh, good. Makes things less awkward then.” he smiled, “So, what are you listening to?”

Alice should have known, it shouldn’t have come as a surprise to her, yet it was happening, it was real, and it did surprise her, it did feel like a fantasy come true when she had been sitting alone thinking it never would. Trying to talk herself into moving on and failing every time, well now her heart was pounding her chest, her fingers shaking as she got more and more excited, even stepping closer to her as she took a step towards him. She laughed, looking down a the ground before her hazel eyes met his deep blue eyes. Now it was okay to get lost in them just a little bit as she sighed, happily, her head falling slightly to one side. “I quite like that…” she nearly whispered, “But…” she paused for a moment, cursing herself to ruining such a happy moment as she sighed again, as though she had taken herself down from a cloud. “There’s something else you should know… Monika…. she said I’m bad for you…”

James was keenly aware he was next to initiate a move, but really he wasn’t sure what to do first. He had imagined scenarios identical to this on countless occasions. Now that he was presented with one in reality, it was a bit overwhelming, the extreme relief and exhilaration flooding him all at the same time. As soon as their eyes met, he fell headlong, like he always did. It was set apart from any other time, however, because then he was truly unsure if he would come back to the surface. Slightly dazed, he almost missed her comment on Monika, “Wh- oh,” he blinked, “Oh! Uh, well. . . She’s said that to me too. But I’ve told her before that it’s alright. She’s just a very, very loyal friend,” excused James, feeling his throat dry out some. “I can talk to her about it again though. I- I certainly don’t share that philosophy, if that’s what you were worried about.”

Leonard wasn’t ready to see James Potter asking him if he could sit down. He didn’t know much about the guy, except that he was the one Alice actually liked when they were together. The rational part of Leonard, which was most of him, knew it wasn’t James’ fault. However, the emotional side did blame James for Alice ripping his heart out. The emotional side made his grit his teeth, while the rational side made him say “Yeah, sure, go ahead.”

Admittedly, James didn’t pay enough attention to most of the rumors around him to realize that he was taking a seat nearby his new girlfriend’s ex, who she subsequently used as a vessel to try and recover from his own juvenile manners. Nonetheless he was polite and extended a hand toward Leonard. “I’m James, if you didn’t know. 7th year.” he introduced, although he was fairly certain they had crossed paths once before.

Alice put on a happy, pleasurable face, as if that was exactly what he was supposed to think. Actually, it was absolutely what he should have done, but she wanted so much more, to throw caution to the wind immediately. It was the adventurous, courageous side of her that won out that battle in her heart. But her head was still completely in tact to keep logic together. “Well…” she sighed, “I’ve talked to Guy… and I told him I liked him… but that I didn’t want to be with him… because I really want to be with you.” And she didn’t need any potion to help her say that, not only because she was brave, but because it was easier knowing that this information must have been common knowledge. “Officially,” she added as she smiled, putting her dark hair behind her ear, “We don’t have to shout anything, but… I’d like to get that point someday.”

James began to fumble with his materials, something he was prone to when he felt flustered or the smallest pinch of anxiety. He promptly dropped the half-done metal instrument he’d created upon hearing her say that she would rather be with him. Was his hearing out of tune? His entire body seemed to be at a disconnect with itself as of late. “I want to be with you too,” said James, as if it was some recent revelation. He pinned an awkward, stilted chuckle to his words and added, “Officially.” He skirted around the table he had taken up work at, sheepishly shuffling closer to Alice. “Can I be honest? I think I reached that point a long time ago.”

Alice had been walking around feeling so conflicted lately. She wanted to be jumping for joy, leaping from wall to wall. James liked her back, and it could only go up from there. Then, she was feeling self-conscience about flaunting her own happiness, because of what Felix had said to her about being annoying. It made her second-guess everything she was doing, wondering if she had annoyed anyone else in the castle, or even James. Finally, she felt anxious, wondering if James was going to call it off if Monika had gotten to him. All three of these hurricaned inside of her and all she wanted was for James to just disprove it all, to just take her in his arms and hug her tonight, maybe even finally kiss her, and make it all okay. So when she saw him down the corridor, she practically ran to him, an anxious small smile on her face, and she practically stood there frozen when he seemed so… normal. “Oh?” she asked, feigning calmness as she tilted her head to one side. What if he wanted to take it all back? That would be pure torture, “W-What did you want to talk about…?”

He casually wiped off his clammy palms on his robes, hoping and pleading as to not seem so outwardly nervous as he felt on the inside. James could feel each muscle in his stomach lurch and force a rush of nausea upon him, but the last thing he would ever do was puke in front of Alice, so he swallowed dryly and offered a smile, “Us! Well, just, um. . . What we were supposed to do. . .? From here on out? Officially?” He averted her eyes, just so she didn’t see the advent panic in his own. “I didn’t want to go shouting to the rooftops we were together if we still had more to discuss, hah. . . Unless we don’t? And I should have told the entire school by now?” 

“Maybe. But even if you are overthinking, there’s still a reason you have these thoughts in your head. Why are you worried that you’re too soft?” Albus reached up and grasped James’s hand in his own, holding his arm there. “I’m very good at giving shit, though. It’s my one talent.”

“Well. . . From all the stories I’ve heard, it feels wrong to be, considering who my namesakes were.” James sighed quietly, averting eye contact. It wasn’t an easy subject to approach, especially not with his siblings, who he’d much rather keep away from his unimportant insecurities. “Awh, shush Albus. You’ve many a talent. Have you not seen yourself on the pitch? You’re knocking Gryffindor down another peg every game.”

“Are you insane?” she asked, eyes wide. “I’m only now starting to feel something again after Jack dumped me for Dominique, and then… honestly, I have no idea what would even come out of my mouth if I talked to him right now.” She gave him a small but genuine smile at his words, getting up and pulling him in for a hug. “Thanks James,” she said before pulling away. “I was just worried I’d bring your mood down. Whatever that mood was.”

“Wait- Jack dumped you for Dominique? I’ll beat him up if you want,” he signed, but quickly backtracked, “I’ll give him a stern talking to, me and Albus. That Wood brother likes me, he’ll let me into the basement so I can do it. Or I’ll wait til we’re on the pitch-” James retraced his words again, “No, I can’t do that, but I’ll find him in the hall and say a few choice words.” He accepted the hug and squeezed Lily reassuringly, looking down at her when she broke the embrace, “You could never, no matter what.”

“I do not believe you,” Monika said, shocked at the own words out of her mouth. Maybe it was just because she only heard James’ side of the story. “I don not believe you vould villingly hurt a fly. But maybe I am biased.”

“I wouldn’t willingly hurt anyone, I’m just. . . I’m a bit thick sometimes.” he explained, “We all can be, but I guess when I am it’s bad. She’s got valid reasons for being cross with me, I promise.”

Albus frowned and tilted his head. “What’s wrong with being soft? This world is too damn hard anyway. Do you really think dad and mum care if you’re soft and, okay, sure, a little meek, when they didn’t care that I’m not–” Albus’s voice broke. He shook his head and cleared his throat. “That I’m not their precious little g-girl?” Albus moved closer. “I’m your brother. Of course I’m going to worry about all your ‘messes,’ as you put it.”

James knew that his brother had a point, and began to feel a touch of guilt deep within his chest as Albus mentioned his transition. “You’re right. . . I guess I just overthink a bit too much.” He smiled and slung an arm around his younger sibling, “Sometimes I forget you’re allowed to give a shit about me too. Just don’t get in the habit of it, I might cry if you do.” he joked.

“First and foremost,” Alice added as she smiled ever so softly, “They say you’re especially lucky if it’s your best friend, you know… that sounds like a good sign already…” She looked down at their hands, butterflies filling her stomach, and she had to admit, that was one of the first times she felt that an overwhelming rate, her heart beating faster with excitement and anticipation of all of that sweetness, all of that happiness. Yet, she felt a twang of guilt resonate once she began to rub her fingers gently against his hand. “I should explain what I meant before… about Guy, and all that… I suppose part of it was me wanting to make you jealous…”

James had heard that a handful of times, and while others happened to find it cheesy and perhaps a bit of a white lie, he always had faith in the idea. It seemed he wouldn’t have to hold out for much longer. “I think it’s a wonderful sign,” he said, “As long as we keep ourselves and check and be sure not to ghost one another again.” added James with a small, almost pained chuckle. He felt his stomach pinch as her skin rubbed softly atop his own. “. . . Well, it worked. He is the fittest bloke in this school, after all.”

“It’s strange…” Alice admits, though she was prepared to keep that thought to herself at first, but it was like every thought that popped into her head went straight out of her mouth instead, “I’ve spent so much time imagining happy things about you and I if we ever got to this point… and now it’s like I know happy things are going to happen, but it’s going to be… different. Makes me both excited and nervous at the same time.” She looks down at his hand before she boldly reaches over, hand hovering over his, already thinking she had taken one step too far and too soon. “I hope this is alright…” she said quietly as her hand gently rested down on top of his. 

“It’s very strange. . .” he agreed immediately. It might have been a bit rude - the quickness in his answer, but it was the truth, after all. So long of these loops and finally they’ve seemingly come to a close. “They won’t be that different. No matter what happens from here on out, we’ll always be best mates first.” said James. Friendship was the most important ingredient in a foundation of something as serious to him as being a couple. He should have been used to the feeling of her hand, having known it as a child. But that was so long ago, it had changed significantly, sending delightful little sparks of electricity to his own hand. “I-It’s absolutely alright.”