Jamie Levin

Dilara had not been expecting to run into anyone she knew here. How could she expect the cemetery to be populated when the island was still so young? Jamie especially was a surprise. Though he could not have known of her loss, she still was surprised to think he had a loss of his own. “Hello Jamie.” She greeted, giving him a small smile of her own. “I didn’t know you were a mechanic.” Though Dilara didn’t drive anymore, she liked the idea of him being handy. “Well, I guess I’d have to save those poor plants.” A small smile graced her lips but it dissolved into a look of pained understanding. “I’m sorry for your loss. I came here for someone too, I’m getting a bench in his honor.”

Jamie hadn't thought there would be a lot of headstones here, but he had to admit there were more than he had anticipated. Seeing Dilara here was not what he had prepared for at all, and she seemed equally surprised. He hadn't had the faintest idea of her loss, though it did explain why she had seemed a bit heavy minded when they'd met. Which made him wonder just how deep her loss went. He nodded a bit. "Yeah, been fixing cars all my life." he shared, the small smile still in place. "Indeed you would have to." he gave a faint chuckle, though it died rather quick, especially in response to her words. A bench? "Thank you, and I yours. Thats very nice though. My fiancee was buried in her home town, so I don't have a place to visit but coming here gives me a place to go to simply think of her."

Charlie had seen their mother murdered right in front of her eyes. She’d seen an old friend be murdered right in front of her too. Death and trauma followed them everywhere they went it seemed…so when she got the news that her future sister-in-law was dead..admittedly a part of almost felt like she’d seen it coming. Like it was inevitable. Like maybe they were cursed, and everyone who loved them was bound to end up dead. It’s why she figured it best to have no one. Not allowing anyone in meant not allowing anyone to end up dead because of her. If anything, Charlie was doing the world a favor. But Jamie had tried to give the world a chance anyways, he tried giving love a chance….and the fact that it didn’t work out infuriated her and broke her heart all at the same time. Her brother had sacrificed his whole life for her, and the moment he was selfish and took something for himself…the stupid universe got involved.

And then Jamie spoke. And all the feelings Charlie was already feeling just doubled.

Pregnant. Ophelia was pregnant… 

When she felt her brother’s hand tighten over her own and heard the hiccup in his voice Charlie looked up, seeing the tears falling freely down his face (she felt her own prickling at the corners of her eyes) and in a second she was up and moving, walking the short couple of steps between them and crouching down so she could wrap her arms tight around him, just holding him since she didn’t think any words could suffice in the moment. 

Despite all their ups and downs, mostly downs, Jamie had wanted to look ahead and believe he might be worthy of something godd, healthy and sustainable for once. That was how he had felt when he had met Ophelia. She had crashed into his life and all of a sudden made dreams he didn’t even realize he had come true. For the time he had been able to settle somewhere, have a partner who was incredibly supportive and kind, not to mention the premise of a very human and natural future with her. When she died, it was as if the universe was telling him he hadn’t really deserved all that she had symbolized for him. And while he knew there was really nothing that could make him feel any different nor did he had any clue how to move past it all, Charlie had always been his constant. No matter what they had gone trough they’d had each other and he truly needed that stability and knowledge of having his sister close at this point. 

He could tell that what she was feeling was bad enough, and that had been why he had been reluctant to admit to just how fucked up the situation was. Loosing a baby, not just his fiancee, was not something he had ever been able to see coming. Well aware that he might make her cry by letting his tears run freely, Jamie still didn’t have it in him to try and reign his emotions in. He had to be able to be honest with someone. And at the end of the day, she would always be that someone. When she came over he got up to hug her back, simply holding her close and allowing himself to feel all of it. 

“Hmm? Oh–yeah. They’re fine with it. Probably likes it since those days I get all the shit sorted and ready by the time doors open.” It’s not like she had anything else to do or anywhere else to go. In a way, she was glad her boss was okay with her going to the bakery on her bad nights–she thought she might go crazy if she didn’t have that escape when her nightmares were too much. That, or she might just up and run, which…part of her didn’t want to do. Not quite yet. Not when the island hadn’t been all that bad to her, all things considered. 

With Jamie’s cup in front of him Charlie moved to sit beside him at her little kitchen table, watching him carefully–and when he finally spoke… “Jamie..” she sighed softly, hesitating a moment before she reached over, placing her hand over one of his around his mug. She knew all too well seeing a loved one dead right in front of you–but while Charlie had seen them die it was a different thing to see someone already dead, the life long gone from them. A corpse. “You..you can talk about it. If you want. It might even help..?”

Jamie nodded, understanding where the others might see that as an advantage. He’d woken up a bunch of times to baked goods, a clean kitchen, tons of small things done around their living spaces because she had not been able to sleep. Then again he had also held her when she woke screaming, hugged her and done anything from sing lullabies to reciting recipes to cuddling and talking. He had no doubt that if she didn’t have some sort of outlet, she might do something reckless or worse yet, something she would regret. Now that he was around again, he really hoped she knew she could lean on him like she had used to, even if they weren’t living together anymore. 

He swallowed hard, not able to hold back the tears that were gathering in his eyes. It was too fresh for him to be fully able to protect her from just how broken he was at this point. With her hand over his, he loosened the grip on the cup, turning his hand over to hold hers, trying to be gentle when he squeezed her fingers a little, both to comfort her and himself. He knew she understood some of it. Their parents deaths had been horrific and brutal, something neither of them should have had to experience. And yet this was different. Because your love for a partner was different than your love for a parent. It hurt in another way. And loosing a child.. Blinking, feeling the tears coat his cheeks, he met Charlie’s gaze. “She was pregnant Charlie.. We just found out a few days earlier I..” he shook his head, not able to find the words right there and then. 

Alex furrowed his brows at the other as he spoke before realizing he may have been coming off a bit defensive. He let out a breath, relaxing his shoulders a bit as he listened, not wanting this to get back to Charlie and have it upset her. Admittedly, he was glad her brother cared so much about who Charlie allowed in her life. But Alex hurting someone in any way seemed to be an ongoing concern to people in his life and it was a frustrating topic. “You don’t have to threaten me to make sure I treat her well, so don’t go there.” Alex’s tone was a bit lighter, hoping Jamie understood that he was trying to lighten the situation rather than cause more tension between the two. 

Yet again, his words almost stumped him, and if you can’t, what are you gonna do then? Alex shook his head gently. “I don’t think about that. I care about her- I love her. I always have, and I know I always will, so I will do whatever I can to make sure she’s happy and she’s okay. If I can’t, I’ll try harder. I don’t know the answer you’re looking for, because you and I both know nothing I say will suffice.” 

Jamie was trying, really hard, to ease off a bit. He knew it wasn’t entirely rational, how intense and serious he became when Charlie was the main topic. His need to protect her, look after her, make sure she came to no harm either physically or emotionally was so very strongly ingrained in him. It was second nature, instinctual, to view anyone who might pose the slimmest threat to her happiness and well being as a problem to be dealt with switftly and if need be, harshly. Yet with someone both she and he knew very well, even if they hadn’t seen Alex in years they knew where he came from, his mom had been their moms best friend, so of course he knew the kid didn’t mean any harm nor would purposefully hurt Charlie. Taking a deep breath, the blonde nodded. “You’re right, that was uncalled for.” he amended, running a hand troug his hair, his features slipping into more wary and tired tones. 

Considering the admission he’d just made, Jamie felt a little less worried. Not much, though he had a feeling he might be slightly overreacting on account of his own issues and struggle, rather than simple brotherly concern. It was tough to consider and admit that Charlie really was growing up, perhaps finally moving on in a manner he hadn’t always been so sure she would be able to. And it was scary to think that she might not need him as much, both because she was moving on, and in having Alex to lean on instead. Not to mention the fact that their situations had been entirely swapped just like that. Two months ago he was the one in a happy relationship moving on and focusing on the future. Now she was the one in that position. “No, thats probably true. Just promise me that you will put her first. If this doesn’t work out between you two, I mean. Which is not to say that I’m thinking it will, I just don’t want her heartbroken and stuck again. I’m really happy she’s found love with you and that she’s finally able to let go of the past a little and look forward instead.” 

“You have no idea. Your face is always a welcome surprise.” She smiled at the endearment, she’d always thought that was one of the sweeter ones. The girl glanced over her shoulder towards the kitchen area, trying to remember the last time she saw the blonde. 

Feyre was about to answer before he asked his follow up question. She gave a small shrug, “I’m okay. Seems like most people woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning. People can be scary before their first cup of coffee in the morning.” She laughed gently, glancing over her shoulder once more towards the kitchen. “And I haven’t actually seen her in a little while, I think she’s on her lunch break.” She looked back up at the man, “You’re welcome to hang out until she gets back though.” 

“You’re sweet to say that.” he noted gently, like always finding her to be awfully easy going and someone it was great to talk to. With most people he didn’t expect to be asked how he was or what he was up to, but Feyre always seemed to see others and read the mood, knowing when to share what she needed to, and when to hold back. Which Jamie thought was a real virtue. Not many people had mastered that art. 

He frowned hearing she’d had a lot of customers be difficult and scary. This was why he couldn’t imagine working in the service industry. One he was not patient enough for it, and two, he was not willing to take a lot of shit from strangers. “See this is why I stick to tea.” he noted, though a little teasingly, trying to give her something to at least smile about. “It seems like quite an unforgiving and ungrateful kind of job. People can be shitheads in general.” he noted, shrugging a bit though and keeping his smile. “Ah, isn’t that typical. I guess I’ll hang out then. And try to resist the urge to toss the unpleasant customers out the door head first. Can I bother you for an iced tea?” 

Alex nodded as Jamie spoke, reminding him that this was Charlie’s first relationship, despite having known this for quite some time. It was easy to remember how big of a deal this was for her because it was Alex’s first relationship too. It was new to them, and they were figuring it out as they went. And again, the gravity of how much it truly meant for Charlie to trust him certainly wasn’t lost. He knew this was a big deal for her and he wasn’t planning on taking it lightly. Alex folded his arms over his chest as he listened, maybe not doing such a great job at hiding his annoyance that this conversation seemed outdated, especially if Jamie and his sister were as transparent with one another as he let on. And it wasn’t that Alex didn’t care or he didn’t think his relationship and the way Charlie felt was important, it was merely that Jamie didn’t seem to trust him. Because if Charlie could trust him, Jamie shouldn’t have a problem with him. Not only that, but it was also the frustration of the assumptions that he would hurt someone, whether that be because he was a shifter and some people saw them as a violent species, or simply because of the kind of person Alex’s birth father was. It was something Alex tried not to think about often because he knew he could get stuck in his head with it, but ultimately, Alex knew he wouldn’t hurt anyone… especially not Charlie. But if that wasn’t enough, it was Jamie’s question that stumped him.

Do you think you deserve her? Alex had told Charlie to her face that he didn’t think he deserved to be with her, but he trusted that Charlie could make the decision of what she did and did not deserve herself. That didn’t mean he didn’t feel himself getting back into his head again already. How the hell was he supposed to answer that question without causing problems with Jamie? If he was anything like Charlie, he’d call out his bullshit. But Alex took comfort in knowing Charlie was the only person who could ever tell when he was lying. Not that Alex owed Jamie an answer anyway, but again, he knew the other would continue to push questions if he didn’t answer. And Alex wasn’t afraid of Jamie, but in that moment, he was annoyed, frustrated, and wanted to get this bullshit over with. “I think she deserves the world, and I will do what I can to get it for her.” He thought he’d leave it at that because even if he didn’t think he deserved her, he would certainly do whatever he could to give her what she deserved.

Taking in the others posture, Jamie was sighing a bit inwardly. The kid wasn’t going to make this easy, which meant he really had to put on his harshest big brother hat. Had the other bothered to show he was taking what was being said seriously then he might have been able to simply say his piece and be done with it. “See, here I am leveling with you, and yet you’re not willing to do the same with me.” Jamie pointed out, disapprovingly shaking his head. This really wasn’t off to a good start. “You know, I don’t trust easily. All our lives the world has thrown shit at me and Charlie. We only ever had one another. Which is why I don’t care if she’s twenty six, or seventy. I will always look out for her and protect her. Especially when she’s decided to let her guard down and put her trust in someone else.” He folded his hands in front of him on the table, still very much staring Alex down. “Like I said, its not personal. But giving me attitude and sitting there judging my intentions won’t make this conversation go by any faster. I’m going about this in the nicest way possible right now. But keep it p and I’ll change tactics.. fairly sure you won’t like that.” While he spoke calmly, he made sure his words carried weight. With the life he’d had, Jamie had never purposefully harmed anyone, and he hoped he would never have to. But where his little sister was concerned, he would gladly forgo his ethics to get his point across. Use force to scare, though harm? Again, hopefully not. “And if you can’t Alex? What are you going to do then?” He arched an eyebrow, hoping for his sake that he would think twice before answering this time. 

“Pretty sure I don’t sleep full nights ever.” Charlie responded, keeping her voice still somewhat quiet since any decibel louder seemed to not fit the mood. It was late (or early) technically, the sky out the window the faintest shade of dark grey, giving minimal light along with the little stove light lit up as well, casting a yellow glow over everything she was doing as muscle memory prepared his cup of tea for him– the same way she took it, the same way their mother would make it for them when she was a child. She couldn’t quite remember her mother’s face, but at least she remembered little actions like these.

“Depends on the day. If I’m opening, I need to be there by seven, so..up around six. On um…on bad nights, I’m there before the sun’s up.” He’d dealt with her bad nights for years. Night terrors and waking up screaming and too scared to go back to sleep. Thankfully they only happened once or twice a week, but they were enough that Charlie never exactly had a sleep schedule that she followed, and it forever made her a light sleeper–hence so easily waking up when Jamie started moving around.

In minutes she had the water brewing and two mugs set and she brought it all over, handing him one of them. “Bad night?” she wasn’t the only one between them with nightmares after all.

Jamie nodded a bit. “I know kid.” He had always hoped that at some point her night terrors would dissipate, though given what she had been trough at such a young age, it was a bad possibility that she would always struggle to some degree. Yet he still had hope. In the faint light he could only barely make out the small motions her hands were making. Leaning his head against the wall the table was set up against, he tried to reorient himself. Every time he found himself in this sleepy haze his mind would make him question whether he was really awake. It would happily trick him into believing he was back in their parents kitchen or the one he had shared with Ophelia. Though the smell of tea was distinctly a smell associated with his family. 

“Its good that you have a place where you can go in early if you want to. Is your boss good about that?” he wondered, curious really as to how people were in this place. The news and writings about the island represented it as a peaceful and harmonious place.. yet everyone with a lick of sense knew no place was strictly peaceful or without troublesome people. Taking the cup she was handing him with a nod in thanks, Jamie closed both his hands around it, letting the heat warm them. Taking a deep breath, he nodded. “I keep seeing her face.. they had me identify her.. after.” he said, his voice shaking slightly. 

Charlie still couldn’t believe her brother was here. Back in her life, on the island… it was still something she was getting used to. Since she was nine Jamie was all she had. But then she just…felt like she’d been a burden. Especially once they moved to the states and Jamie met Ophelia. So she came here on her own, and started having to take care of herself. And while she obviously was still wary of, well, everyone..she’d at least been surviving just fine on her own. But now Jamie was back in her life after half a year apart and Charlie was torn between immediately slotting back into the little sister role- letting Jamie take care of her and call the shots..or making him see that she wasn’t the same little girl who needed protecting at every waking moment.

Like now.

When she heard the footsteps she immediately woke up–she’d always been a light sleeper after all, and she walked out of her room moments later, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes as she followed the sounds of her brother in the kitchen. “Why don’t you take your own advice, James.” She shot back, her voice sleep-soft and quiet as she continued walking over to him, immediately nudging his hands aside so she could take the mug from him. “Go sit.”

While being back where Charlie was felt right, as if he were no longer being pulled in two or part of normalcy was missing for him, it was also odd being here. He’d felt shitty when he realized she felt like a burden and in the way when he and Ophelia first got together. And selfish, for wanting her to stay even though he could see she needed something different. Letting her go had been much harder than he had wanted to let on. But he had known letting her go out on her own had been what she needed and what a decent brother should do. 

Being here, now, Jamie still felt like the world was on one type of speed, and he was on a different one. Life flashing before him very fast.. and in response he was dazedly looking on as things happened around him. Which was why he had known that he had to change his environment. That and well.. he had never really lived alone before. The weeks after Ophelia’s death had been terrible.. the silence of their apartment, sleeping alone, waking up alone, eating meals alone. It had all been fucking awful. Yet he knew that coming here wouldn’t necessarily change those things. In being apart they had both accepted that the other needed to grow, and he knew Charlie was perfectly capable of taking care of herself. So now she had a lot that were separate from him. Her own life. Which was normal, and good, he knew that. But he had no idea how to start over in a world where they were separate instead of a package deal like they had always been. 

Noticing her coming out of her room, he grimaced just a little. He had known there was a good chance he would wake her moving about but he had hoped to be silent enough. “I’m sorry I woke you. I don’t sleep full nights anymore.” he said with a small shrug, not blaming her for being a little cranky at being woken up. With a small sigh, he let her take over. It didn’t come natural to him, not being the one to provide when there was no reason why he couldn’t. But they were in her apartment, and he probably should let her take the lead. Shuffling over to the small table, he sat down on a chair, running a hand trough his fairly greasy hair. “How early do you usually get up for work?” 

Charlie? “Oh,” Alex said softly as he thought to himself that he should have known this was going to be about his relationship with Charlie. Alex was glad Charlie had someone like Jamie all these years to care for her and protect her (even if she could take care of herself), and someone to be this concerned about the people she let into her life. He understood exactly where Jamie was coming from, as Alex himself, was overprotective of the people he cared about, and he knew most of what Charlie been through over the years they’d been a part. But Alex wouldn’t lie, there was a part of him that was a bit frustrated that Jamie might not trust him to take care of her. Alex had made sure Charlie was safe and he cared for her, even comforting her after some of her nightmares since even before they started dating. Alex had no intention of hurting her or allowing anything bad happen to her. He would literally do anything for her, and he wished Jamie could see that instead of going through this cliché older brother bit. “Right. Go ahead.” He breathed, knowing the gist of this sort of thing, and honestly wanting to get it over with because Alex knew he could never hurt her.

It was clear that the kid thought he had dodged a bullet, which was just a little naive, but then again he was young. Young people tended to live a little too much in the present and not consider the consequences of their actions. That was why having parents or in this case, an older sibling was beneficial. And while biologically Jamie was the latter, he had also raised Charlie when their parents were no longer alive to do so. Not even Alex could fully comprehend that relationship or know the weight of what he felt where his little sister was concerned. She had no one else to look out for her, and he would damn well do everything he could to make sure he did that properly. “I’m sure by now you’re aware she hasn’t dated anyone before. Her life hasn’t made room for it and its one hell of a big deal for her to trust someone enough to open her heart to them. So for one, I hope the gravity of that isn’t lost on you.” he said, his tone grave, trying to not be aggravated by the somewhat disconcerted response he had gotten. Your funeral kid.. He thought. Hopefully he wouldn’t have to use anything but words. “Do you think you deserve her Alex? Do think carefully before you answer.” His steel grey eyes watched the other male with a certain intensity. Of course the truth was that Jamie didn’t think any guy on this planet deserved Charlie. But since she had chosen Alex it was only fair that he made sure the other was aware of just how lucky he was to be with her. And consider if he could truly be the person she would need going forward. 

He startled awake, not entirely sure how long he had been able to sleep before getting jolted awake by some bad dream he didn’t care to remember. The past month had been like that. He would sleep, but not for a full night. His dreams plagued by the sight of Ophelias lifeless body, her beautiful face all cut up and bruised. He hadn’t believed the small army of people telling him she was gone before they’d shown him her corpse. If he’d known how that image would haunt him, he certainly wouldn’t have asked to see it.. Sighing he swung his legs off the couch and pulled on the jeans he had left on the floor before walking the rather short distance into his little sisters kitchen. The clock on her oven told him it was four in the morning. Too early as expected. Occupying himself, he brewed some hot water and located some tea bags. ‘There’s nothing a warm cup of tea can’t fix.’ His mom had used to say. Between the great baking and her strong tea, it was hard to disagree. 

Hearing the shuffle of footsteps, he glanced towards Charlie’s bedroom. Shit, had he managed to wake her? “Charlotte.. go back to sleep.” he said out loud, a bit sternly at that, figuring that if she was awake, he would get a reply and apologize, and if she wasn’t then he could at least try to drink his tea quietly before finding something silent to occupy him until she did wake up. 

It was only a little after eight pm that he realized he’d forgotten to buy ice cubes after work today. And had no mold to set fresh ones in. Sighing under his breath, Jamie closed the freezer and grabbed his keys, mostly out of old habit, the same reason why he locked his door behind him as he walked across the hall, knocking on his little sisters door. It was a moot point perhaps, asking her for ice. Though he had meant to stop by in the last couple of days to see how she was doing anyway. They’d both been busy with work and given this not so healthy routine he had fallen into lately, Jamie knew he had allowed himself to withdraw a bit more than he normally would with Charlie. He just didn’t want to burden her when she seemed to be doing so well. But now the fact that he had retreated to his own bubble made him feel both selfish and guilty. He’d come here to be as present in her life as he possibly could. And well.. because he was lonely and lost. The loneliness wouldn’t pass if he kept spending nights alone.

Once the door opened, he cracked a small smile. “Hey kid. Any chance you have a few ice cubes lying around? I’m out.”