Jamie M. Miller

The Magic That is Her She is the girl who will slow dance with you in a bookstore, twirling amongst the shelves of books whose words recite love and fairy tales, the imaginary tales she secretly wished could be real life – though she often was a storybook character of  horror, to which she’d become far too familiar The girl that will listen to your darkest secrets and will run closer instead of…

Dating Over 35-WTF Am I Thinking?! Narcissistic Nat

Ah, sometimes these dating profiles seem too good to be true until you start to know the person. Sometimes, it can take a little while before someone’s true colors come out; but this time; it was almost immediate. Try Match, they said. It’s the best, they said. It’s guaranteed. How wrong! It’s all the same men!  You are literally paying for the same disgusting, commitment phobic men that you are…

Dating Over 35 – WTF Am I thinking?! Fool Me Once, Fooled Me Twice

It’s very difficult being the person who tries to see the good in EVERYONE, even the ones toxic to us. We end up being the ones who get very hurt, disappointed and crying in the end. It’s doubly difficult when you are an Empath and want to fix and love broken people, absorbing their pain and suffering into yourself and making you more vulnerable. I’ve done it countless times with family, friends…

A Half a Year Came So Fast

Six months ago today, on April 7, 2021, Dementia (and Diabetes) took my rock, my (grand)mother. I go into moments where something reminds me of her and my grandfather. I cry, then I try to move forward because I hear her tell me to. Yesterday, it was the bus that said CAT2R (last name Catapano, both have R. for Middle initial). A couple days prior to that,it was the wedding I attended that she…

A Letter to My (Recent) Ex

Let me start this off by saying that there are ZERO feelings involved anymore. There are parts of the letter that are “going for the jugular”, but I never said I wasn’t a bitch when it came to protecting my heart and those I love, so when I am betrayed, you will feel my wrath. He was fair warned when we became talking on the relationship level that I would not tolerate many things in a…

Dementia. We all have heard of it and it’s vile course to rob the brain of its clarity and memories. It can also lead to physical deterioration in it’s progression. It causes the brain to slow and eventually stop functioning, which means triggers that are sent to parts of the body to feel pain, sensations on the skin, loss of muscle control and so much more. A person with Dementia can forget to…

Second Time Around (Excerpt)

She was still a thought in his mind. Often. More than a man would like to admit. No one came close to her, not by a long shot. She was one of a kind and he let it go so cruelly, knowing she had been so hurt by others, and he did the same.

The distance was a huge part obstacle, adding to the fact that they’d never experienced their first kiss, physical touch and intimacy, but yet they had fallen,…

When You Still haven’t Found Your ‘Person’

We all long for a person who looks at us like we are the best thing in the world, a person who can’t go a day without seeing and talking to us, and misses us the second we leave. They make you want to be a better person and you lift each other up. They make our heart beat out of our chest and you both can’t imagine a world without the other.

Of course, there will be bad days, there will be…

I Can Breathe Once More

As most of my readers know, I was in a LTR for nearly 4 years and it began to fizzle out and ended (not on my part) three years ago this past September.

Though I had already been married and divorced previously, I’d never felt anything for anyone like I did this person. It was an instant chemical, mental, spiritual and all-around electric connection for me. I was head over heels, irrevocably,…

Screw You, Social Media

You wake up the morning, you grab your phone and instantly go to your social media account and check out what you missed overnight in your friends’ lives – and there are the posts – announcements, pictures and congratulatory messages of engagements, marriages, pregnancy, the birth of a baby.

We can get so caught up with seeing other people’s big news that we get into a slump when we see something…

Dating Over 35 – What the F*** Am I Thinking?! Part 2

Names in this entry are changed*

Well, i am roughly two months into the whole insane world of this online dating.  I’ve been second guessing if it if even fit for me.  At this stage, it’s becoming more of a writing/psychology project for me. Some words of advice: if you are sensitive by nature, it isn’t for you. I’ve been upset, offended, conflicted and afflicted more times than I can count. Now,…

2020 – New Decade, Same Me (But Improving Everyday)

Well, it is here – the beginning of 2020 and the end of a decade.  I am going into my fourth. Holy Shit! 2020 is the year of 40! I feel young at heart and mind, but my body is telling me, “Girl, you are getting rickety and sore a little more every day, you got lines under those eyes,” but I still feel I am aging very young looking.  So, that’s a plus (or just good genetics).

So much has happened…

What is a best friend?

What are the qualities we look for in a friend?

Maybe someone who will have your back through everything and would put their feelings to the side for yours?

Maybe its someone who you can be yourself with, show your ugly-cry and your flaws to without judgement?

How about accepting you wholeheartedly?

Through childhood and even adulthood, we go through stages and with those…

Who Do I Turn To?

Lately, close friends have been telling me to do what makes me happy.

I pretty much am.  I do truly have a great guy.  We are at a major crossroads lately.  For reasons that I am not at liberty to say, I do understand where his logic is coming from. He is looking out for me and AJ.  I get that. But I do a lot of things alone, as if I am not in a relationship. A LOT. Family/friend gatherings,…

My son was diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder on August 31, 2012, a month shy of two and a half years old.

My son never was exposed to lead or was sick, thankfully. His ‘symptoms’ with his speech delays began a bit before his MMR vaccination.  

His first “illness” was in May of this year when he had pneumonia and was on antibiotics for a week.

I had a great pregnancy; hardly any sickness,…

My Own Worst Enemy…Is Me

Over the years, the experiences I’ve endured (though not as traumatic as many others’) have taken a toll on me. I’ve developed anxiety and panic attacks; I get shaky, I sweat, my heart races, I go into bouts where I shut down and do not want any social interaction and I randomly cry. I get angry. I can have a temper and I flip out when I am hurt and upset. My words are hurtful, and I say what…

*Names have been changed to protect pride. (We know how some men are – I wouldn’t want to bruise any egos)

In  high school, I think* I had a crush on a lower classmen named Ned. I say think loosely because we had a class together and I have several pictures of and with him during that time, I can only assume, since my soon to be 40 year old brain can’t recall what I did an hour ago, let alone 23…