swallowed in the sea

She smiled as she took the paper and scanned it quickly, ‘so how long have you been here?’ she asked

He took the paper again and started to write. That's actually my first day here. 

Helloooo.

Jamie waved at the boy, smiling. Hello! What's your name? He wrote and passed him another paper.

[Danny chuckled, placing his thumb to his chest and wiggling his fingers attempting to sign “neat”] I don’t know much sign language, man, but I do know that one. I’m Daniel, er, Danny.

Jamie smiled at the boy. He took out his pencil and wrote quickly. I don't know how to sign too. It's nice to meet you, Danny. (I hope you don't mind me calling you Danny..) He handed him back the paper.

Veronica pursed her lips and nodded as she read his reply. She understood completely, in the fact that he wouldn’t like it so much. Definitely couldn’t be easy. But it’s better than not saying anything at all, right? I mean, I can’t imagine it’s easy all the time or anything like that. She handed the paper towards him and smiled. 

He smiled back and took the paper. He read her reply and shrugged. It's not easy and it's really frustrating but you're right. It's better than nothing, I guess. He finished writing and handed her the paper.

She took the paper and read it ‘I’m really good actually, just getting used to this place’.

He nodded smiling. That's good. He wrote.

Curiously, Veronica watched as the words seemed to flow on to the paper effortlessly. What a smart idea, she thought. Smiling, she ripped off a small piece of paper that had been resting in a notebook. Hey there! I’m Veronica. I think this is pretty neat, writing notes to each other. Reminds of the days when I was in kindergarten.

Jamie watched the girl writing an answer. He read her reply. He looked up at her and smiled before he started to write back. I'm glad you think so. I don't like it that much, but unfortunately, I have to use that. He shrugged.

Hazel watched the piece of paper as Jamie wrote, admiring the way the words seemed to flow, before nodding in response to what he had written. She didn’t understand completely, of course not, but she empathised with him all the same and realised that it must of been extremely hard to deal with on a daily basis. Picking up her pencil again she began to write a response, stopping and starting a few times as she tried to think of the right words. I understand, but the fact that you want to communicate with people is good. It shows that you’re determined, you know? And that’s definitely a good thing. Twirling the pencil around in her hand, Hazel read the last part of Jamie’s reply, a small smile tugging at her lips when she saw that he had sworn too. Maybe I can help you? she wrote, the words flowing freely now. I mean, if I’m going to be stuck in this support group for the foreseeable future I could always try and let people know that you can’t speak to them and explain why? That might help.

He noticed Hazel was searching for a way to start her reply. He waited patiently and when she finished, he read the paper. He nodded. She was right, he knew it was a good thing. Jamie nodded again as he finished reading the last part of her reply. That would be really helpful. Sure you want to help me, though? It's very frustrating. He felt grateful.

Elise took the paper and smiled ‘it’s okay’ she said clearly, facing him. 

He smiled back and took the paper. How are you today? He wrote and handed her the paper.

"Because one evening… I came out to my best friend and him.. and then she stormed off and said some not nice things" he admitted, "And then he started speaking to me and he kissed me… and then for the next few months we started fooling around and became like a secret couple behind her back… and then November Junior year.. he moved away but before moving he told her the truth and she got the whole of the football team to beat me up and basically ruined my life.. but it’s my fault. My parents don’t want me speaking to him.. for leaving me defenceless. 

Jamie couldn't believe this actually happened to the boy. He felt so bad for him, even though he just met him. I'm so sorry. I really am. Everything will be fine, I'm sure. I'm Jamie, what's your name? He finished writing and handed him the paper.

"Not really" he admitted, "But his girlfriend… who was my bestfriend at the time did".

Then why can't you talk to him? Jamie wrote and showed the boy the paper, waiting for him to read.

Elise took the paper and read it with a smile before beginning to sign ‘ASL?’ she started ‘I’m a little rusty though’ she continued whilst saying the words outloud incase her signing wasn’t correct.

Jamie blushed and started to write again. I'm sorry, I don't know how to sign. He never wanted to learn, he've always preferred to read lips. He passed her the paper and shrugged.

He nodded, when the guy wrote that on the letter for him. He bit down on his lip before finally speaking again… “Well I’ve suffered with anorexia for four years now and also.. I’ve had about eight suicide attempts in the last year” he admitted, tears filling his eyes.

Jamie felt sorry for the boy. I'm so sorry. Did this guy on Facebook make you do that to yourself? He wrote and handed him the paper. 

Jamie’s giggles were almost infectious, and Hazel found herself laughing along too, so happy that she had finally found somebody nice to talk to. After attending support group for over two weeks, she had only spoken to a few people, but she could already tell that Jamie was different. She liked his company, plus she also secretly liked the fact that he didn’t know about her reason for attending support group, and she intended to keep it that way. Lung cancer wasn’t exactly the kind of thing most people looked for in potential friendships, and Hazel honestly didn’t want to scare him away. Her fingers traced at the writing on the piece of paper for a moment before she picked up the pencil again and wrote a reply, asking a question this time too, so they could continue their conversation. No problem. So, what do you think about support group? Do you hate it like the rest of us?

Jamie noticed her laughing with him, it felt nice, he hoped she wasn't laughing because he sounded weird. He knew she wasn't, but still, he couldn't help but wonder. Jamie read her reply. Honestly, I didn't really want to go here but I kind of promised myself I would because I really have to start to communicate with people. He stopped writing for a moment. It's a bit hard for me, you know..I need to explain why I don't talk and all of this shit. He started to wonder what was Hazel's reason to come to the support group. She looked normal.

I guess all things begin like this

Jamie wrote a reply on a little piece of paper. Hey, I'm Jamie. It's nice to meet you. (I'm deaf and I don't speak very well so I write. You don't have to write back, I read lips.) He handed her the paper and smiled.

He read the paper and nodded, unsure as to whether to talk or not.. but he decided to but spoke slowly, so he wouldn’t ramble and the other boy would become confused with what he was saying… “Well.. this guy who I used to see starting talking to me again, but I’m not allowed to talk to him because he’s one of the reasons I’m here” he admitted.

Jamie was looking at his lips as the boy was speaking. He appreciated the fact that the boy was talking slower for him, he could see it. Jamie took out his pencil again. Can I ask what is the reason you're here? He wrote quickly and passed the paper to the boy again. 

I... I.. shouldn't of reactivated my facebook..

Jamie read the boy's lips and took out a piece of paper and a pencil. He was writing quickly. Why's that? (I don't talk..) And handed him the paper.

Hazel frowned a little bit as she read Jamie’s first reply, before taking back the piece of paper and writing a hasty reply, biting down on her lip as she did so. It’s not annoying, you can’t help it. If anyone has a problem with it, fuck them. She showed him her reply, a mischievous smirk playing at her lips at the fact that she had written down swear words. Hazel could tell that Jamie wasn’t okay, and that he was just smiling to try and convince her, but she didn’t pursue the subject any further, not wanting to pressure him into feeling like he had to talk to her about how he was truly feeling. They had only just met, after all.

Jamie read Hazel's reply and couldn't help but giggling again. He took the piece of paper and started to write his reply. It is annoying. I understand why people don't like talking to me. But thanks, though. He handed her the paper again, smiling even wider because it made him happy to meet someone nice.