Yeehaw bitch

I’m putting in my too weak notice.

going with the flow in a face down in a river kinda way

“Do dishes” and “take out trash” both require the use of a spell slot, vs “use phone” is a cantrip, and brother, I am a level one wizard

friend who went to bed is a type of dead wife

the irredeemable pervert is generally well regarded among their friends for their insightful thoughts and all around pleasant demeanour

My doctor insists i cant eat clown food and that its bad for me

What even is clown food?

The food that they feed clowns to keep them docile and colorful

guy currently hurtling toward a migraine at a rate that would impress most astrophysicists: i wonder wgat is happening in my beautiful telephone

job interviewer: would you be willing to destroy and betray yourself for nothing?

job interviewer: (reading the room) would you be willing to destroy and betray yourself for a pizza party?

ooh so you like my blog? name five of my fetishes

We need to conquer space travel for the only reason that zero-g would allow for new never before seen pastries, you know how the top of the muffin is the best part? Well that is because it is exposed to air so it changes the chemistry, in normal earth gravity it is impossible to make a muffin that is all top part because it needs to be placed somewhere which would restrict air flow, however in zero g it would be possible to make a bubble out of muffin dough which gets optimal airflow and becomes an all-top part muffin... This is the dream...

finishing something you worked really hard for feels like nothing