jack

If I’m being honest with you here, it seems like you have the potential for a win-win situation on your hands. You could get out of arguably the worst job, bussing, and continue to listen to your music from behind the counter. I will say, however, it would certainly liven up my daily visits to The Grind if all the baristas were cuttin’ a rug while working. Maybe I’ll leave that recommendation in the suggestion box next time I go in.

Please do because I’d be smiling so smug left and right once those get read at staff meetings. What’s your order again? I’m pretty sure I’ve dropped your cup many a times before.

I’m with you - music makes the world go round and it adds a little pep to your step in what seems like monotonous duties. You need to get your fellow employees together and raise a rebellion or something.

That sounds like a lot of work to begin with. I appreciate another music lover, though. How does one raise a rebellion over the music? Should I pull a Miley?

I’d be delighted to. I can also just offer to replace all the cups you break and they’ll be much more willing to let you break them. It’s an absolute classic. Belle’s reprise is iconic. Maybe that could bring more entertainment value to the business, if you just recreate Beauty and the Beast with you in the role of Chip.

Can you just like...talk to my manager for me and make that happen? I mean, I don’t act. . I don’t think I can act. I can’t sing either, but I do like dancing. I can do that.

Every time I think of Fred Astaire it makes me think of Holiday Inn, which makes me think of Bing Crosby because of White Christmas, and that just makes me want to watch Christmas movies. I don’t know if I have any advice because now all I’m doing is trying to prevent myself from opening my Disney plus to put on Muppets Christmas Carol.

You should always watch Christmas movies cause Christmas with Hallmark is pretty dang cool. Is Muppets Christmas Carol your favorite when it comes to Christmas movies? PS, always watch a Christmas movie at least once a month as a countdown to Christmas. It gets the hype going.

Then it sounds like you’re shit outta luck, dude. Not much of anyone can help you with that. I’m sorry to tell you this, actually I’m not, but no one is cute with an apron on. It’s not a cute accessory.

My mom thinks I’m cute in an apron. I like to think that counts. I get told that I’m lazy a lot and like looking for solutions for people to come up with for me. That’s all I’m fishing for at this point.

Probably safer that way. How many times did you almost crash into someone while carrying the big thing of dishes and not hearing them?

Listen, Linda. It was only 5 times and they were all different people on different days. Why you gotta call me out like that though?

Yeah, she must have had some serious acting skills in ER or something because the fact that she was able to get in only to flirt is pretty impressive. I guess I gotta give her props there. I’m hoping this was a one time thing, I see so many different patients every day so it’s rare to see someone regularly but I’m hoping that I’ll get lucky and this won’t become frequent.

Definitely gotta give her some acting chops there. Or someone in admittance knows her enough to get her in without asking her the good stuff. Ooh, that might be something you should look into. How many patients do you end up seeing a day?

As a doctor, nothing really surprises me these days but today it finally happened. I got that patient who decided to use doctor related pick up lines and shocker, she wasn’t sick at all. She started with the ol’ ‘Can I take your temperature? You’re looking hot today.” and continued to make an awkward situation even worse until I thankfully had another patient who clearly needed way more assistance than she did. Never a dull moment at Monte Island General. @monteisland​

You gotta admit she had a lot of guts in order to get into your office like that, considering how busy the hospital is, right? Hospitals are busy, aren’t they? Anyway, kinda weird you have a stalker. Now that you know she’s a patient, are you gonna transfer her to someone else or just be extra wary? Godspeed, my dude.

Chipped cups are adorable! It’s like Beauty and the Beast. I mean sure, but all business have to have multiple facets in order for it to be successful. Your dancing could be a real boost to business.

Can I get you to say that again to my manager? The offset of new business could help pay for my cup breaking. 

Not gonna lie, I think I watched so much Beauty and the Beast as a child because of my sister. I think I might be able to quote the teacup’s lines subconsciously.

full name: Jack Cannon Phillips age: 22 birthday: January 31 gender: Male pronouns: He/Him nationality: American

Just find another job. There’s plenty of them around here. Or just do it anyways. Wear a beanie or something so the airpods can’t be seen. Problem solved.

But the effort...the effort. I gotta go through all the training again at a new job and then getting in close with all the people at work. Truth is, I get distracted easily. Then I get into trouble. I just wanna know what goes on in people’s lives, man. Plus, I kinda like the flexibility that I have with a coffee shop. The tips are great--and I get told I’m pretty cute with an apron.

Personally, I say dance your heart out. As long as you’re not breaking anything your manager should be thrilled at the prospect of free entertainment. Who doesn’t want to see a dude dancing like Fred Astaire?

Me? Break things? Okay, so I haven’t broken anything today. It’s a new record for me. 

Exactly! So what if a few cups end up with chips now and then, right? It’s the value of what they’re getting that matters. And if I know anything, and I claim to not, value is what keeps a business going....I think.

Not a fan of the slow, ‘coffee-beans and soliloquies’ playlist? I thought it added a little bit of flair to the place myself.

But to be fair, how am I supposed to shake my groove thing if even the music is putting people to sleep? Sometimes The Grind should be renamed to The Groan. Or The Snore. I can see the flair, but what about the pinache?