One night I was hanging out at my friends house. It was night and we were all gathered by a bonfire. I was sitting in a chair looking up at the stars. When a shooting star lit up the sky just above us. I made a wish. I wished that I’d be happy again in a month. After everything that happened and getting out of that place. I can say once again I’m happy.

It’ll be one month tomorrow and it still hurts

Wish I’d stop dreaming of her

Happy to close this chapter in my life, I’m happy I got good friends and people who care about me and what’s going in my life. Ready for 2020 and my new place with new memories to be made.

I don’t feel ok. I can’t think straight anymore. I feel like I’m going to self destruct. I can see the pins coming loose keeping it all together.

What I wouldn’t give to stop fucking having dreams of her. Every time I’m feeling better, I wake up feeling horrible. This time we were lying in bed next to eachother just talking. It felt so real. I wish I could have stayed and enjoyed her company but it’s back to reality. Back to the life where she doesn’t care.

Feels pretty good packing up and getting rid of all these things that have just collected dust or sat there for years. Can’t wait to be settled in and decorate my new place!