tonight I cry a quiet symphony.

I was young I was thin and I loved you.

Those kids aren't actually my friends they're just people I know. And I don't ever want to be their friend, they're their own group and I'm just a straggler.

Snuck some photos of my new friends today. Maybe it’s weird but idk I like taking pictures of friends.

Welcome to the American shit show. Trump is president I am disgusted and fuck we let Bernie go!!! This is the last good day of my life. :,-)

I’m a failure. I can’t turn in work and I can’t do anything right, all I do is waste time and fuck around.

I hate that I tell myself I befriend people because they look alone and I don’t want them to be alone. Truthfully I befriend people because I’m alone and i think new people and more friends will make me feel better but in reality it isn’t working like that. I still feel bad.

This is sick. It's so ugly I'm fucking livid.

Tomorrow’s my birthday and I’m not happy or excited- or really anything I just feel like I exist.

I don’t wanna be someone who values friendship over everything but as it turns out I am and it’s so disappointing I swear.

Another night of listening to shitty music and crying in bed as airplanes fly overhead.

I want some new friends. Some that get me and want to be with me not some who are with me because I’m funny or just because they’ve known me. I don’t know, it’s just besides Ivan I don’t think anyone really understands how I feel or even have anything in common with me. At least with Ivan we have a lot of common interest like music and style and skateboarding and boys… I don’t know things make sense with her.

“I’ve lost my will to live.” “Why is it so hard for people to stay consistent?” “Why can’t I stay happy.” “I think it’s better if we’re not friends anymore, I just don’t feel the same about you.” “I hate you.” “Why can’t I be happy and stay happy?”

Marks not the one. There’s nothing more to him than drugs alcohol and partying. Wyatt asked me to come see him at his other job… What does this mean? Am I looking to into this..? …I am I dunno I need to chill. Alright but yeah I don't think things with him are gonna work out, there's honestly no personality to him.