v

just wanted to say this new chapter was genuinely so cute. can’t wait to see what else you have in store!!

chapter 19: once in a blue moon

bury the moon has such a special place in my heart. honestly it's my favorite eren college au. i'm transferring from a community college to a university in a few months, and reading your fic has made me less anxious about the move. your writing is so beautiful, and has honestly helped me get back into creative writing myself. no other fanfic has made me feel so immersed and connected, because your y/n is so much like me in so many aspects. and your characterization of eren is hands down my favorite i've read. all i have are high praises for you, and i hope you're doing well. <3

one year…..since submerged….ENDED.😭😭😭😭😭😭😭i feel like i just finished it yesterray.so sad.i feel so maternal towards rhis book.

also HAPPY BIRTHDAYAYAY ily

but jokes aside, how are youu? i hope you’re doing well, and everything’s alright at your end <3

(honest) update on life:

- haven’t written in a while and i don’t feel good about that (boo)

- starting ritalin on monday so hopefully that gets me out of my slow decay (yay)

- little snippet on ch. 19 (yay)

- snippet is depressing (boo)

FIRST OF ALL, this was perfect, you just keep raising the bar, I fear we’ve reached triton moon-wise with this one!

I love how with this chapter we got to witness such a contrasting transition

I’m listening to sun bleached flies as I write this, and it feels uncannily aligned with what I want to say about fear / acceptance, about their quiet and inseparable duality.

I’ve always been drawn to the way fear is portrayed in media. It’s something universal; everyone has, in some form, brushed against it. What fascinates me most is how people build resistance around fear without recognizing the dual nature it carries, how it can both confine and shape us, suffocate and define us at once.

Acceptance, whether chosen or imposed, is rarely part of that conversation. We tend to overlook it, especially when we speak about negative experiences. And when we do acknowledge it, we often soften it, giving it a muted, almost hopeful tint — as if acceptance must always lean toward healing or something inherently positive. But imo that isn’t the only form it takes.

What I’m trying to articulate (what this chapter, and the one before it, have come to represent for me) is the other shade of acceptance. The quieter, heavier one.

For me it’s like a withered tree, long stripped of life, now overgrown with new vegetation: something continues, something adapts, but the original form remains rigid, unmoving. It is the stillness forced upon us by circumstance, the quiet surrender to what our experiences have made of us, even when our will strains in a different direction than reality allows.

It’s the internalization of what once oppressed us, how fear seeps inward and reshapes acceptance into something dense, something suffocating.

And yet, within that same emotional space, another response begins to surface almost immediately after this portrayal. An impulsive and contradictory reaction to past fear that resists the stillness… Eren, admitting that she had reminded him of himself.

And in the space between these two responses, two more perspectives begin to emerge.

One comes through Colt, who embodies the many faces of fear when it silences us. His is not just hesitation but a sort of non bodily paralysis, the kind that comes from knowing exactly what should have been said or done, and being unable to act anyway. It’s the quiet weight of inaction, the lingering ache of a moment that passed while you stood still, held back by something you couldn’t quite grasp (+++the momentarily lack of the underlying disgust this usually comes with).

Then there is the ambiguity within Porco’s perspective, which feeds on the very fear he helped create. In him, I feel like there’s a fleeting inversion, an unsettling shift where the one who once inspired fear begins, even if only for a moment, to feel it himself. Predator becomes prey, and in that reversal, something fragile and revealing takes shape.

I’ll never shut up about how you describes all of this!!

Dare I say yn and her relation/perspective shaped around porco remind me of David by Lorde (screaming crying throwing up)…

ANYWAYSSS I adore how the tone softens, how it lets the harshness of those emotions slip slightly into the background without ever fully erasing them. It feels like this steady flow of duality that never quite hardens into a strict dichotomy.

I think we tend (as a generation) to divide everything too cleanly, to treat things that aren’t truly separate as if they exist in isolated fragments. I’m not even sure if that fully makes sense, but it feels true in the way we experience and interpret emotions.

What you’ve done, though, is create something much more fluid. There’s a quiet, beautiful connection between the two of them. How their experiences have shaped them into something strikingly similar, even if their approaches differ, even if they arrive there from opposite directions. They feel distant and close at the same time, like reflections that don’t quite align but still belong to the same surface. And like I said before… if perfection were something tangible, I think it would look a lot like what you keep creating🤗

I’ll end this by saying that yesterday I somehow managed to convince my mother to watch aot with me, arguably the hardest task ever but also the most we’ve gotten along in a long time. So far she really likes mikasa my woman, even though she can’t remember anyone’s names yet😭😭

Sending you the biggest hug & lots of love bby, take care, ily!!!

hello hello! i missed this in my notifs but i’m glad i caught it!!!! i’m doing good lovely, how are you??

i have said this from the beginning but colt is such a special character for me. i think he’s hyperrealistic and morally grey from what we’ve seen thus far. idk if i want to condemn him or understand him; idk if i want the reader to understand him just yet. colt is run by fear and so is porco if you really think about it.

DAVID by LORDE i could scream. “i made you god cause its all i knew how to do” – yn’s desperation to be acknowledged from her parents (figures who ur meant to look up to) x porco giving her a sliver of that kind of acknowledgement and succumbing to that no matter the consequence. i can also see the “i don’t belong to anyone” being a set point in her psyche after moving to trost which…… could make someone want to be closed off so they don’t go back into ‘belonging’ to someone and having history repeat itself (hmm) is she ever gonna love again?

i really didn’t wanna make them be people that come from the same circumstance. i think they’re the exact same and total opposites at the same time. i won’t say much but we’ll see the disparities more soon enough.

oh…. :’)

never be scared because love conquers all !!!!! and i can’t thank u enough for sticking around and reading my silly little words on a site <3

chapter 18: breath for breath

i'm sorry anon i know it's been a while but i finished the rough draft of the next chapter of btm today funnily enough !!! still a wee bit to go though because i wanna get it as close to perfect as i can