guided by angels

Her appearance was loud, bold, unique in a way that brought a whole new emphasis to the word, and he nearly gave himself whiplash from how hard he turned his head to give her a double-take. He was convinced that something in the universe shifted in that moment; he could practically feel the scales moving, as all the eyes at the party seemed to be glued to her. For the first time in history, he was no longer the coolest person in the room. And the most eloquent thought in his mind was,

‘What the fucking fuck.’

The music that, at first, was way too loud, suddenly seemed muffled, as he looked at her with a gaze that could only be described as ‘analytical.’ He noticed all of her facial piercings. It was probably the most metal he had ever seen in anyone’s face. His eyes slowly observed as many tattoos on her that he could see, curiously wondering what other ones she was hiding as they trailed off underneath the confines of her leather halterneck. She moved with all of the confidence of a victorian vampire. He had never felt so dumbstruck in his life.

Now, he wasn’t an idiot. He knew what an alternative person was. Hell, he had a massive crush on Gwen from Total Drama Island in high school, so he had plenty of credentials. He was as cultured as he could possibly be, but in a small home town like his, he rarely, if ever, came across an actual alternative person in real life.The closest he had was Suguru, but he wasn’t necessarily ‘hardcore’, more so just an angsty stoner that enjoyed the simplicity of classic midwest emo music. So seeing someone as cool as her was completely new, and he was experiencing a lot of new, and conflicting thoughts and feelings. Most notably, he was intrigued. (- and jealous that she stole his title as ‘the cool one that everyone wanted to be friends with’.) Unfortunately for him and his ego, he didn’t make the good first impression that he normally did. With a surge of confidence, he approached her, as he did the other girls he found an interest in, and said something along the lines of, “Hey, you’ve got a lot of piercings. You into pain or something? ;-)”. In a shocking turn of events, she didn’t giggle or swoon, she scowled at him, and called him a ‘fucking weirdo’, before walking away. Ouch. That definitely did not go as smoothly as he expected it to. But he was never one to back down from a challenge. He was determined to get to know her. He wouldn’t let her push him away so easily. Despite how much of a strange, red-flag she thought he was at first. He was frustratingly persistent.

Luckily for him, she was great friends with Suguru, and as fate would have it, they went to pretty much the exact same group functions. He had never been so grateful that Suguru was such a houseparty fiend in his life, and that's saying something since said parties were usually his domain. He could get any woman he wanted there with a bat of his eyelashes. Well, until now. It took a lot of miserable failed attempts to get her to actually listen to anything he had to say. Apparently, girls like her didn’t like to be called a ‘goth mommy’. He learned that the hard way, after she ‘spilled’ her drink on him and gave him the finger. He made a couple of insensitive comments. But it wasn’t his fault! Girls like her were completely different to what he was used to! He actually had to put effort into getting her attention! That never happened! He was so tired of always messing up, always saying the wrong thing. Damn it, why was she so unattainable? He had to recruit the help of their mutual friends, Shoko and Suguru, and with their wise guidance, and the help of many pep talks, he learned how to actually talk to her, and potentially earn her friendship. They told him her interests and little things about her, and he found himself slightly shocked when he realised how much they had in common. It was strangely unexpected. She dressed like she was always ready for a funeral, her face plastered with dark makeup that screamed misery and gloom. What did they mean she also loved marvel, just like he did?! The more he learned about her, the more he found himself falling for her. He was sick and tired of this parasocial, one-sided relationship.

He finally got through to her at a halloween party. When she showed up, dressed in a small black dress and covered in fake blood, in all of her vampiric glory. Despite the dark costume, he thought she looked nothing short of heavenly. As she recalls it, the story of their unlikely friendship stemmed from something very similar to Stockholm syndrome, but he denies that with every fibre of his being. At some point during that night, when the people around her got too drunk and annoying, and she disappeared to the balcony of suguru’s apartment for a smoke break, he followed her out there; finally having their first normal, civil conversation, that didn’t end with him saying something stupid and embarrassing, or her scowling at him and insulting him. A complete win-win. They talked for what felt like hours, and finally, really got to know each other. She finally realised that he wasn’t a perverted basement-dweller that viewed alternative people as a kink, (because, holy shit, she had met plenty of people like that), and he realised that she was pretty much the same as his other friends, except with thick eyeliner. She wasn’t ‘weird’, as people claimed she was. She was just… reallyfuckingcool. A friendship blossomed quickly between them, which then developed into something more. After a year of friendship, it was safe to say that he was pretty much completely head over heels obsessed with her, and he saw her as the coolest person ever. How could he not? She always wore the coolest outfits, and had a combat boot collection that was bigger than anything he had ever seen. She had the most niche and unique music taste, with playlists that consisted of small artists with like, 10 monthly listeners. She was so effortlessly awesome. He was totally jealous of how herself she was. She knew exactly who she was, and what she liked and didn’t like, and she totally owned it. He couldn’t help it when his harmless crush spiralled into pathetic obsession. And thankfully, his pathetically endearing, nerd demeanour that resembled that of an old, wet, kicked dog, had captivated her as well.

Their first kiss was shared at Suguru’s balcony, almost about a year and a half since their moment at the halloween party.

-

“Open your mouth,” she said, softly, her voice assertive, as she leaned closer to him and brought her cigarette to her lips. He listened to her before he even realised what was happening. Hell, he barely processed the moment until it was over. As he opened his mouth, she slowly blew the smoke into it. He froze, his eyes wide as he went completely still. Satoru has had full blown sex that was less romantic and intimate than that. The cold night air was hitting his face, and effectively working to cool him down before he literally exploded. Her movements were so sure, so precise, as she made sure to leave a breath’s distance between them. The only thing connecting them was the arrow of smoke that shot from her mouth and into his with a flawless precision. For a second, it seemed like cupid’s arrow; entering through his mouth and travelling down to capture his heart. That was almost the most romantic and perfect moment he had ever experienced, until the smoke didn’t end up reaching his heart, and actually hit the back of his throat. Fuck. He suddenly started fighting for his life as he choked and coughed. Of course that had to happen. The universe always had a way of bringing him down. She laughed hard, throwing her head back as she watched a pathetic, and flustered Satoru trying to hack his lungs whilst still attempting to be nonchalant. He was such a goof, the sight brought a smile of admiration and soft fondness to her lips. “You okay?” She asked with a sort of teasing grin. He cleared his throat and straightened his back, leaning his elbow on the balcony while feigning suave casualty. “Uh, yeah. Totally. Right as rain. Absolutely peachy,” he said with a goofy grin, snapping his fingers and pointing at her with both hands. She chuckled, “Remind me not to do that again. You’re not much of a smoker, huh?” She observed, bringing her cigarette back to her lips. Satoru was almost too distracted by how pretty her wine-red lipstick made her look, too distracted by how it stained her cigarette to process her words. Almost. But when he did, he couldn’t stop the words from spilling out of his mouth. “No, you could totally do that again. I can totally handle it. I liked that, like a lot. The- the smoke I mean… so, you could totally do that again. But, um.. Only if you want to..” He cleared his throat, before he had the nerve to continue, and dig his grave deeper, “Uhh.. I mean like, pfft, yeah, it was alright. Cigarettes are.. Cigarettes are.. Cool..” Wow. Epic save. He mentally slapped himself in the face. Way to go, idiot.

She looked at him for a second, her eyebrow slightly raised in amusement. She could see through him completely, well, not that it was very hard. It was always easy to tell when he was lying through his teeth. Especially right now. She could see the uncertainty radiating off of him as he practically vibrated with nerves. She let out a small chuckle. She wasn’t an idiot, she knew he was into her. He didn’t really try to hide it. “Satoru?” She suddenly asked, taking a step closer to him as she put her cigarette out against the railing. “Uh, yeah..?” He swallowed thickly, assuming he was seconds away from getting made fun of for how pathetic and loserly he was. Her next words made him want to bury himself alive and never see the outside world again. “You want to kiss me right?” She said it with such casualness, as if it was the most normal thing in the world. It felt like a blow to the stomach. Was he really that obvious? He cleared his throat again, suddenly producing so much saliva he felt like he was about to drown - and honestly, that didn’t sound too bad. “I- um- no.. haha.. Well..  I mean, like…. Ifyouwanttoiguess-”  Before he could descend into his typical awkward, nervous rants that he always scrambled to when he was nervous, she decided she already knew his answer; pulling him down by the collar of his shirt, and kissing him.

Although he was an atheist, Satoru was sure he saw god twice that day. First, when she kissed him, and second, when she pulled away and smiled at him. The softness in her expression, the way she looked at him with such fondness, was a stark contrast to her intimidating, unusual exterior. And despite originally thinking it was impossible, he found his little infatuation with her increasing tenfold. He was undeniably smitten. He immediately found himself missing the feeling of her lips on his, even if that meant ending up with his being stained a faded wine-red colour by the end of it. He couldn’t help but think that, if her costume was real that night, and that she really was a vampire, he would let her drain every last drop of blood from his body if it meant his skin would be grazed by her lips. He was so used to stealing everyone’s attention just by entering a room. He had become accustomed to constantly having to practically push women back from him with a stick. He took pride in his popularity, and wore the honour of being the coolest person ever with his signature cocky grin. But the world had other plans for him. Before he knew it,  Satoru Gojo reluctantly had to give up his title as ‘the coolest’, but he would gladly throw his ego aside and spend the rest of his days bragging to the world about how he managed to score such an awesome girlfriend. He accepted his number 2 spot with pride since it meant being able to look up at her. And still, the fact that he managed to make someone like her fall just as hard for him, definitely made him feel pretty neat too. So yeah, his girlfriend was wayyy cooler than him, in every sense of the word. But honestly? He liked it that way. He would continue to worship her every move, until the day he died.

a/n: hi guys... hey.. i didnt proofread this... and its definitely not my greatest work.. and the ending was very rushed.. but can we just appreciate the fact that i finally wrote something after oh so very long?? im giving myself a pat on the back hell yeah