promise you'll remember me

Fortuneteller, turning over the Death card: Don't worry. It isn't literal. It simply refers to some form of change. Me: Phew Fortuneteller; turning over the Gets Eaten by the Fortuneteller While Trying to Leave card: That can also mean many things

staying silly is all i got left like i got no money no prospects i’m a burden to my parents and i’m frightened

and, look, I’m not complaining, not at all, but this is why it’s very important to be abundantly clear and specific with your Etsy witch.

best part of running games of jackbox for random library teens was definitely all the times when jackbox would prompt them to be vulgar and i would be like i hope everyone can really impress me with how clever and not obvious their jokes are and this completely worked on them they were like i must find a joke even better than cum. but is it possible...? i must try. for Her. a woman who i just met who works at the library

LINDSEY GRAHAM RANDOMLY DYING OUT OF NOWHERE WHILE WE'RE ALL WAITING ON MITCH MCCONNELL TO GO FROM MOSTLY DEAD TO ALL DEAD IS AN INCREDIBLE FUCKING BIT I'M NOT GONNA LIE

i’m going to be really honest with you guys i think the tendency to read the absolute worst possible intentions into every action you don’t agree with is getting too automatic and it’s eating you from the inside out

ads targeted to women: omg you are thirtyyyy. kill yourself

Use your PTO