promise you'll remember me

movie theaters- scratch that. all theaters, actually, are awesome because none of you have to interact with each other and yet we've all come together as strangers to cry and laugh and get frustrated and happy and annoyed for more than an hour. its the ideal not-social-but-social-enough activity

one cool thing about having an autistic dad whose special interest is underwater spearfishing is that when he catches fish he'll just call up a nearby chinese restaurant like "hi. i caught a fish. can you cook it and i'll bring my family by?" and they're like "yeah sure come on over white boy" and the fish is delicious.

it's worth adding that my mom is chinese and she always gets embarrassed by this. like she doesn't want to come to the restaurant with us. she doesn't want to be seen with the white man she caught plus the fish that her white man caught. everyone who works at the restaurant thinks my dad is awesome and compliments him + her for choosing him and we all find this very fun except for her.

comic books are good to get into if you really like to complain about everything all of the time

Im grading the final exams for the class I TA for and I'm checking the name of the one I've just graded so I can enter it in the gradebook when I notice that after the name it says in parentheses "just visiting ! =)". And that I do not know this student, they are not enrolled in this class, and they just showed up on the last day to take the final . Innovative use of free will

people needdddd to wear headphones in public because while on an otherwise very lovely walk in the park today i saw a guy sitting under a tree watching a porn parody of the star wars prequels

if nothing else trying to tune out the sounds of anakin and padme going to town as i contemplate the babbling brook gave me a brief but vivid window into what it’s like to be obi wan kenobi

Fortuneteller, turning over the Death card: Don't worry. It isn't literal. It simply refers to some form of change. Me: Phew Fortuneteller; turning over the Gets Eaten by the Fortuneteller While Trying to Leave card: That can also mean many things

staying silly is all i got left like i got no money no prospects i’m a burden to my parents and i’m frightened

and, look, I’m not complaining, not at all, but this is why it’s very important to be abundantly clear and specific with your Etsy witch.

best part of running games of jackbox for random library teens was definitely all the times when jackbox would prompt them to be vulgar and i would be like i hope everyone can really impress me with how clever and not obvious their jokes are and this completely worked on them they were like i must find a joke even better than cum. but is it possible...? i must try. for Her. a woman who i just met who works at the library