promise you'll remember me

this shit sucks. wish bulbasaur was real . 

there are places in the world today that are experiencing 40°C for the first time in recorded history. of course there's no way to know whether chucking billionaires into volcanos will appease the sun god but i feel we're doing the scientific method a disservice if we don't at least try

For the thought crime of experiencing optimism you have been sentenced to five years of propeller hat and rainbow lollipop

[english butler voice] will you be 'rage-baiting' yourself again this evening by reading the reddit comments section, ma'am?

blogging is too dignified a term for what i’m doing on here

im swimming at the lake and accidentally kicked a fish. this has never happened in my many years of swimming. sorry man

can never predict which of my posts is going to get popular. now everyone on tumblr knows i kicked a fish

When you're like 5 and your parents tell you to quit being shy and say hello to your extended family

that's goddess pose

it’s never a normal temperature anymore it’s always some fucking bullshit