laced with nitroglycerin

Aside from the mounting pile of assignments, college was going pretty well. You were finally out of reach of your parents and had some control over your life. Growing up in a house where you were given virtually no freedom made you slightly incompetent in decision making while also craving control over them. You had tried your best to break this cycle and it was going... surprisingly well. Yes, you'd have to occasionally face a super fucking long call with your parents where they would point out everything wrong with you and try to "fix" your life from miles away, but you tuned it out. You'd learnt how to.

You'd even made a decent group of friends. There was Luke, a music major whom you met at a party where he was playing his music live with three of his friends: Calum; a maths major, Ashton; who was studying music, like Luke, and, Michael. The four of them, you thought, came as a packaged deal but their conflicting class schedules and different majors made it so they didn't really have time to see each other. Out of the four you'd gotten the closest with Michael because even though he didn't really look it (no shade Michael), he was a chemistry major, just like you.

You both would have the same classes and breaks and would be together so much that by the end of the day you'd get incredibly frustrated with him (and him with you), but you were always grateful for him. He understood when you told him about how shitty it was for you growing up and how you needed as fast as you could to get away, and he understood when you told him that you always wanted to be an actor but your parents didn't even let you think about that as an option.

So it obviously came as a huge fucking shock when he told you that he got an internship in a remote city, four hours away and would be gone for eight weeks.

You had tried to be calm and sound happy for him.

"Michael, that's insane! I'm so proud of you!"

You were happy for him. Of course you were but you didn't think you could survive college without him. Even just eight weeks. "What about school? You’re gonna miss a lot." you asked him, genuinely concerned. "Well, they said that I could get one month to catch up after, so I’ll need your help." "Of course." and that was that.

It's not like he was your only friend, you still knew Luke, the other two (out of which you'd only properly spoken to Ashton) and your roommate, whom you had spoken to enough times to count on one hand... Your despondency seemed apparent because later that night Michael begged you to go to a party with him to "mingle" you cringed at that, but were excited to go nonetheless.

— — — — — — — 

You reached the party with Michael and spotted Luke immediately "Hey! It's been a while since I've seen this one!" Luke said as he tackled you into a hug. you awkwardly hugged him back.

"Yeah it's been a while." you say, getting more and more comfortable as you talk to everyone, the initial phase of awkwardness ebbing away the more you "mingle". You see Ashton and hug him hello, and when you see Calum, you give him a head nod and a smile in acknowledgement.

You don't understand why it's so awkward with Calum. He seems like a normal guy, definitely quieter than the rest, but you can't seem to shake the feeling that he doesn't like you for some reason. You try to ignore it but it seems pretty apparent in the way he never tries to make conversation with you.

It's a shame he's really fucking hot though.

Michael starts telling the guys about his internship and they're all ecstatic and start congratulating him. "Yeah I knew you could do it!" "Lets fucking go man!" "We need to celebrate with shots brah!" You laugh at them knowing the only person who could say the last sentence was Ashton. You all head over to the bar and order a round of shots and before you're about to down it, Calum starts speaking.

"I kinda also have some news, it's not as important as michaels but i just wanted to share it." Everyone perks up to listen, knowing he rarely addresses everyone. "I've decided to change my major." he says, pausing, trying to gauge everyone's reactions. When he sees everyone wants him to continue, he does.

"Maths just wasn't doing it for me and the only reason I took it is because I was good at it in school. I've been reading about other majors and I think I still want to do something in stem... so I'm switching to chemistry."

You paused, and tried to take it in. He said something totally normal so why was it impacting you so much? you couldn't even really explain how it was making you feel. You scrunched your eyebrows in confusion and smiled. Michael was going insane. "I knew you'd come around! no sane person is ever a math major." Calum laughed.

"Yeah well no sane person is a chemistry major either" Luke says while eyeing the three of us.

"Welcome to the other side cal." you mutter. He responds with a smile and a silent thanks.

"Hey Y/N! you finally know someone else and won't be lonely when I leave!" Michael says smiling and you shoot him a glare. "I know plenty of people and I will NOT be lonely when you leave." You say while laughing at Michael, trying to brush off the comment he obviously made in light spirits. Calum looks at you, smiling and you were grateful to have at least someone to talk to in class even if you'll never admit it to anybody (especially Michael).

— — — — — — — 

The next day you went to Ochem and saw Michael sitting in your usual seats. He was talking to Calum, and it was then when you remembered what he told you all last night. You told yourself that Calum being there is better than being alone so you decided to be extra nice to him even if he wasn't the most welcoming to you. You sat down and said hello to Michael with a fist bump, acknowledging Calum with a head nod and a smile again. It's safe to say that's how you'll be doing it in the foreseeable future. “So calum here has told me that he doesn't know what's going on in class…” Michael says to you sarcastically. “He also wanted to ask you something” Your ears perk up and you look at him with a smile.

 Remember to be nice.

“Yeah what's up?” you ask him. “Professor Norm told me that if I want to be in his class I need to catch up by next month. Since Michael's leaving in a few days I would really appreciate your help” He says bashfully, avoiding eye-contact with you while looking down. “Yeah of course I’ll help Calum.” You say to him. He looks at you, then looks away and you see a faint blush creep on his neck. 

What the fuck? Has he always been this way?

 You try to ignore the warmth in your stomach and something just snaps inside you. 

He doesn't avoid you because he doesn't like you. He's just shy. 

It kind of annoys you that you went so long making up a whole reason for Calum's evasive nature, when he truly was just… shy. To be fair, he really doesn't look it. At nearly six feet and with an extremely attractive face, he doesn't seem like a shy guy. Wait, why wouldn't he be? 

You're thinking about this too much. He doesn't hate you, just let it go. 

Why can't you let it go? 

“Hey Y/N are you good?” you hear Calum say as you realise you'd been staring at him for enough time for it to be considered off putting. “Yeah I'm fine, sorry i just zoned out” Michael catches that and smirks “yeah i love zoning out while staring at his face too.” he nudges you with his elbow and you smirk back at him “What can I say, I'm just happy he’s here.” 

WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT?! Wait its chill he's blushing and laughing. How are you so confident all of a sudden? This feels great. Wow. 

— — — — — — — 

You realised that you'd grown a lot more ballsy around Calum after figuring out how shy he was. You weren't outright flirting, you're just being extra nice and seeing how he reacted. It fueled something inside of you and it was the first time you'd felt something like it. Having so much control over someone without them even knowing gave you a weird rush of adrenaline. 

It had been a week since Michael left. You had grown accustomed to seeing Calum everyday and you enjoyed his presence. You enjoyed how red he became every time you tapped his shoulder to ask him something or every time your touch lingered on his arm when you playfully hit him. How his breath caught when you were walking to class and you decided to lean closer into him. He would freeze for a second then try to resume talking or doing what he was. 

It wasn't like this with Michael.

— — — — — — — 

You both were hanging out in your dorm– well, you were supposed to be catching him up on Ochem mechanisms for Norm’s class– but you two had abandoned that a while back and were sitting on your bed with open books scattered around you just… talking. “So Michael told me that you'd wanted to be an actress. why’re you studying chem then?” Calum asked you. You looked at him and sighed. “Well, it's really complicated..” you began and he cut you off with a “Oh! You don't have to tell me, I just wanted to get to know more about you.” You smiled at him, “that's really sweet cCal,” you said as you leaned just a fraction close to him. Enough for him to notice.

“It's my parents..” you begin. “They’re very… traditional. They want me married with children before I'm 25 traditional. They never really gave me any space to grow.. I always felt like I never had a say in any of my decisions and that kinda stuck with me. My mom decided if what I wore was modest enough, my dad decided if I could hang out with a group of people, and there's so much more… So I could never tell them I wanted to do anything that didn't align with any of their values. If my mom could, she  would probably pick a guy for me and get me married right now. I know that sounds insane but that's what I've had to deal with for the last nineteen years.” you have to stop yourself so that you don’t break down. 

Shit shit shit. Don't cry. Don't cry. Don’t cry.

You pull yourself together and look at him. He looks like he doesn't know what to say so he just takes your hands in his and gives them a little squeeze. 

You smile at him. “It kinda made me crave control without learning how to make good decisions. Or at least that's what 3 months of going to the school counsellor has led me to believe.” you laugh dryly trying to lighten the mood and face him. “Okay now I need you to tell me your deepest and darkest secret to even this out.” He's not laughing at all. You've never seen him like this, it's almost like he's wearing his heart on his face looking at you.

He moves towards the edge you're sitting on and kneels down on the floor so he's looking up at you. You shift so that you're towering over him, taking in the scene before you, trying to figure out what he's doing. He takes your hands in his again and starts caressing them. “Y/N i’m so sorry you had to go through that–” he starts, but you cut him off. The last thing you need is someone else's pity. “You don't need to feel sorry for me.” You take your hands away and look down at him. He stays where he is and it's making you uneasy not knowing what he's going to do next– control freak much? “I’m not pitying you. I’d never do that. You don't need it.” he says while looking down. “I just wanted to make you feel better. I'm sorry.” 

The way he's positioned mixed with his whiny cadence is a little too much for you to bear. There's warmth growing inside you at an unprecedented rate and you're a little speechless. He looks up at you trying to figure out what you're going to say next and when you stay quiet he shifts, about to get up as you reach for his cheek to keep him in place. You tilt his head to make him look up at you once again with those big brown eyes. 

“Do you wanna know my deepest secret Y/N?” He says, his gaze not leaving yours. You nod, “Tell me, Calum.” 

“I think about you… doing things to me.” he says in a murmur so quiet that you wouldn't have heard it if he wasn't right below you. Your breath is caught in your throat as you try to ground yourself. “What things..?” you say, sounding surprisingly sultry despite the contradiction in your internal dialogue. 

“Whatever you want” he whines. 

That does it. You pull him up to your face. Encapsulate him in a harsh kiss and give him no warning as you thread your fingers into his hair, slightly tugging at it. He lets out a sound that goes straight to your cunt and you pull him away. Looking at him, you can see his lips slick with his own saliva as he licks them, his glassy eyes never leaving yours.

“You’re sure I can do whatever I want?” you lean in and whisper in his ear and he nods frantically. 

You kiss him again, deeper this time, guiding him towards the head of the bed and pushing him down so you're on top of him again. “Take your shirt off” you say to him gently as you place sloppy kisses on his mouth that scatter around his face. He complies and in a swift motion, his shirt is on the floor. 

You trail your kisses to his ear and whisper softly “Wow, who knew you were such a good boy.” you say as you suck the bottom of this ear and he lets out an obscene whimper that just fuels your mouth to go lower, licking stripes down his neck to his collar bone. 

You're sitting in his lap, straddling him slightly, and you feel him grow hard beneath your hips. Your mouth opens at the feeling and you let out a breath. “Hmm so hard for me.” you pepper kisses to his neck again and look at him, “Do you want me to touch you?” he nods again trying to force back the vulgar noises threatening to leave his mouth. 

“You’re going to have to use your words baby.” You say tracing a hand down his torso starting from his collar to the button band of his jeans and right back up to his pecs. “Do you want me to touch you here?” you start tracing your fingers around his nipple, giving it a slight squeeze. Before he has time to say anything you attach your mouth to it and suck softly. You hum, feeling the vibration spread around his skin as you look up at him through your lashes and bat your eyes. 

“F-u-fuck Y/N i need you to touch my dick right now.” he whines breathlessly. You hum in response “you haven't asked nicely Calum, do you think you deserve it?” His face contorts into a painful scrunch and he whines in response. “Y/N i will literally do anything to have your mouth, you-your hands your pu-pussy on my dick right now please anything PLEASE im begging you.” 

Poor guy, he's begging you, give it to him.

You know you can squeeze a few more teases out of him before, even you, need to inevitably get what you want. You remove your mouth from his now swollen nipple and trail it back to his own. “Yeah?” you say, voice dripping with false empathy “You want me to touch your dick baby?” your fingers pull his hair at the back opening him up so you can deepen your kiss and he nods frantically again, hoping you're being serious this time. 

“Take off your pants then.” you command. In an instant his hands fly to his belt and he undos it with practiced ease. He pulls his pants down leaving only his boxers covering his aching dick and just as he's about to get those off too you stop him. “Let me have some fun too,” you say to him. 

You trail down to his boxers, where you can see the outline of his painfully hard dick and begin stroking it through the fabric. He squirms beneath your grip and you have to hold his thighs down. “Shh c’mon you just have to sit still for a bit and mommy’s gonna give you what you want.” 

SHIT. Where the fuck did that come from? This was the first time you’d ever said it to anybody and you hoped to the universe it didn't weird Calum out.

You get your response in the precum that collects at his tip, creating a dark patch on his grey boxers, and with the filthy whimper that escapes him.

You mouth at his hard through his boxers your spit collects, making a mess on them. “I’m gonna take these off now, okay baby?” you coo at him “Yes please, mommy”.

You steady yourself upon hearing that and slowly slip the boxers off, leaving his dick to spring up and hit his stomach. He lets out a breath as you begin to stroke him, your fingers occasionally coming to the tip to spread his precum all over. He's slowly coming undone beneath you and lets out small whimpers and moans every time you tighten your fingers or pick up the pace. 

You eventually take him into your mouth, swirling the tip around to make wet sounds that get mixed with the sounds of his painful moans as he thrusts his hips into you. “Fuck im so sorry mommy I didn’t mean to” he cries out. His hands fly to your face as he makes you look up at him.

“It's okay baby, just let me do the work.” You place kisses along his length and tip and after what feels like years of teasing, you begin bobbing your head up and down as you take him in deeper. You go slow at first, but his squirms motivate you to go faster, your hand coming up to stroke what your mouth can't take. 

“Mommy I can't take it anymore, I'm gonna cum. AH- you're going too fast I wont last long” he whines out breathlessly and that's your cue to get off of him with an obscene "pop ".

He lets out a cry in despair and continues “please make me cum I was so close”. His eyes have become glassy and you've finally had enough. “Can you let mommy ride you baby?” you ask him coyly, and the question catches him off guard. He pulls you closer to him and nods. You kiss him and take your shirt and pyjamas off. You’re bare from the bottom. 

He cups your breasts in his hands through the bra and that sends a jolt of desire up your spine as you moan. That gives him all the approval he needs to bring his hands to your back and undo the clasp. You gasp in response as he takes it off and starts playing with your nipples. You bring your chest down to his face and he takes one of your breasts into his mouth, his hand still squeezing the hard bead on your other one. 

You move your hips so that his dick slides over your soaking cunt as he lets out a muffled groan. You move up from his mouth and his hand finds its way down to your wet sopping mess as he hovers over your clit. 

“Can I touch you mommy?” he asks and it's your turn to nod speechlessly. His fingers start rubbing slow circles on you and you respond to it by grinding down harder and cursing his name. As soon as he feels the wetness that's accumulated his jaw goes slack and he moans.

“Youre so wet Y/N. Fuck—is this because of me?” he asks, his hands still moving through your folds. You nod and when his fingers tease your entrance you quickly sink down on them, steadying yourself by holding onto his shoulders. “Fuck calum, you’re being such a good boy, opening me up so well.” you move his hands out of the way as you move down his torso to his dick and stroke a few times before sinking down on it without warning. He yells out your name in a whine and you just roll your hips in response. You groan as you feel him stretch your walls and feel the initial jolt of pain ebb into quick pulses of pleasure. 

You lift up and sink down again and calum has to steady himself by holding on to your hips. “Hmppffff fuck mommy i wont be able to last if you keep doing that.” you smile at him and continue with the pace. “Let's see how long you can go for, baby.” you say as you can see him visibly get closer and closer to his climax. 

The sound of skin slapping fills the room as you ride him relentlessly, both of you getting painfully closer to your orgasms before you lean down and whisper in his ear. “Are you close, baby?”

“Yes i am,” he breathes out, “Please let me cum mommy ive been so good—i cant take it anymore.” you take his hand in yours and guide it lower your body, he immediately takes the hint and attaches his thumb to your clit rubbing hard circles that make your vision turn black. Despite the blinding pleasure you still force out a “cum for me baby—.”

Your orgasms hit you both at the same time as a low scream rips from Calum's throat, your hips never stopping their relentless rolling, his grip on your thighs is bruising. 

You keep up the pace for as long as you can, feeling him thrust into you, your vision alternating between white and black, your pussy twitching as you feel his thrusts grow sloppier with every movement. 

Eventually, after the both of you have been spent in ways you never thought, you slump down onto his chest as his arms wrap around you. You both lie there for a few minutes.

“I don't think I've ever had sex that good.” Calum finally speaks up. You roll onto the bed, lying by his side as he turns to face you. “Me neither actually,” you say to him as your hand finds its way to his soft hair again, this time it's slightly damp with sweat. 

You both lie together in silence, a mess of sweaty limbs—and occasionally—kissing each other softly. 

“Do you wanna get cleaned up?” you ask him, gently while tracing his torso with your fingers. “Yeah we probably should…” he replies in a soft voice, smiling at you. “But let's stay like this for a bit.” 

You nod at him, smiling, as you both just soak in each other's presence. 

“You know when I first met you I thought you didn't like me.” you say, internally laughing at the thought, “Why would you think that?” he scrunches his eyebrows in confusion. “I don't know, you never made any effort to speak to me, it took me a while to realise you were just shy.” You tease.

“I didnt really know how to strike up any conversation, when all i really wanted was for you to fuck me like a bunny.” he giggles in response. “You’ve certainly become more confident since then.” you coo, still playing with his hair. He just hums in response. 

5sos as marauders 👀